I was out for a walk early mid-morning today. I had to run some errands related to the snowstorm. As is the case most mornings some of the guys who stand on Main Street hoping to get a few bucks for a cup of coffee and bagel, or secure enough to buy food for the day were out and "at work." I chatted with one; gave him a couple of dollars, and asked how much he needed for the day, and told him I'd ask the Lord to supply over his request. At first he looked confused, but then smiled with an "I didn't expect that!" smile.
I've asked today more than once on his behalf.
A half a block up standing under the Thornes' green awning was a man I met literally the second or third day I started living on Main Street. He's been on Main Street since we moved in, but he lives on the street, mostly out in the elements 24/7, 365 days of the year. He's a hardy soul with true grit and a stubborn will. I asked where he'd slept last night and he told his "usual place," (I know where it is), adding, "When I got up this morning I was Frosty the Ice Man, and it shattered off me like glass." He laughed. I was out in the storm yesterday; it was not pleasant with the low temps and the wind.
This guy is tough and ornery. He mentioned the other guys on the street have learned to stay out of his way when he's cold and wet. He hates being wet while cold. I responded, "You've trained them well." He nodded. I asked him how he was doing. He answered: "God provides, as He always does." This man talks alot about God and faith and trust. I see him often with his head buried in the Scriptures and he attends a church once a week. He said he's learned to trust Him for all his needs. God supplies. By the way, he's never asked for money from me. And he doesn't do drugs.
I asked if there was a light at the end of the tunnel with finding a place to live. He said: "God has not given me that yet. So I'll trust Him." He's told me before why he's had to be on the street for a long time. He says it was a gross injustice. Maybe so. I don't know one way of the other. I won't pry.
I told him things have been especially tough for us lately, and gave him the details. He was genuinely surprised. I think he thought we were well off or something. He reiterated with some vehemence that the key was to trust God no matter what - no matter what you lose, or go through, or have to endure.
It was the Holy Spirit. I would realize that later in the day..
I like this man a lot. He's real and feisty and fierce for God. He's one of those guys that do the tough things in life and don't quit. He's taught me survival is possible in the meanest of conditions; he shows up everyday and looks for God.
I know some of us will ask, "Why doesn't he just go get a job?" "Why doesn't he take initiative and get on with building a life?" But we don't have any idea what's so impenetrably in the way even if it's just in his head. Since we've been here he's tried to get work and it has gone nowhere; not unusual for folks living on the street. He seems a man convicted God will supply his need and God alone. I respect his resolve. I've tried to challenge it over the years with my best reasoning and he sticks to his guns. He'll have none of it.
So, I pray while he and we are still in Northampton, God would meet him where he is, and reward the stubborn faith of this trusting man who's put his full weight on the belief God will answer and supply.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
My Training to Trust Christ Continues.
It's been a month since my last post. I have no clear idea of why I dried up a bit other than I didn't have that urge to comment on what I was experiencing or thinking about; nothing felt very compelling. I didn't want to fill your reading space with blah-bady-blah-blah.
But what I experienced yesterday morning caught my attention. First, let me give a little background. On December 27th of last year I wrote a blog entitled Wandering From My Comfort Zone Last Week:
http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2013/12/wandering-from-my-comfort-zone-last-week.html. In it I talked about how my Lord:
"continues putting me into situations where I've never been. They are more stretching than the ones before because I have either no actual expertise in the task or new adventure I tackle, or I feel exposed because doing so increasingly puts me in circles of relationship new or foreign to me. Looking back over five and a half years, I recognize coming to Northampton has been one continuing series of new encounters and endeavors involving all sorts of folks I've never really been around."
I've learned in fits and starts to see following as His disciple includes many opportunities for stretching and deepening. Spiritual maturity is not a vitamin you can take daily with orange juice; it's a more like fitness training sessions where you're challenged incrementally to get stronger, be more flexible, endure more, and grow more ready to be of use when the Master summons you to a task, mission or journey.
Often too, God in His unparalleled wisdom will surprise us with one of those "what are you gonna do with this?" experiences. They are often unexpected, and "Oh, man! What???" unsettling. Yet they can yield astonishing growth.
Well, yesterday morning, I was on tap to give the message for my friend, Pastor Keith Tolley, at the Greenfield Alliance Church. It was to be the third time I'd spoken there. I know some of the folks because I counsel at the church one day a week. As you'd assumed, I did my preparation and felt ready to share what I'd been given. I also needed to pack a change of clothes because I'd be heading to Hopkinton right after to fetch Tricia and visit our son, daughter-in-law and grand-kiddoes. Normally, I don't wear a jacket and tie to speak as it's gotten more informal on Sunday morning in many churches. Yesterday, I just decided to dress more formally, so I'd need to change when I got to our kid's house. The morning was full of stuff to do.
So, off I went up I-91 for the half hour drive to Greenfield. About twenty minutes out I had an "OH NOOOO!" thought that I couldn't remember picking up my notes from the dining room table and either putting them in my backpack with the change of clothes, or carrying them by hand to the car. Realizing they were still at home, and I didn't have time to go back to retrieve them would normally give me panicky jolt of anxiety and thus ratchet up my ADD distractability. From past experience, I guarantee I'd be pretty disoriented.
You see, I'd never left my notes before in all the retreats, classes, seminars and sermons I'd given over the years. I like notes. They anchor my "oh, look ... a bird!" mind to what I'm trying to say. They're like a trusted co-pilot or navigator. They'd not get the chance this time.
But something remarkable and I'd almost say unique to my experience occurred. The Holy Spirit calmed me within a minute. It was physical. He quietly said I was to trust Him and speak without notes. He reminded me I had studied the passage, and it had been one of my favorite and most-used over the years, especially in retreat ministry. Within a minute, I turned from anxiety to I can do this and it'll be fine. The matter was settled as was I.
By the time I walked into the church, I at peace, engaging folks, and not fixated on trying to remember what I was going to say. Unexpected as well, as I came in, a couple of folks said warmly they were glad when they heard I was speaking and looking forward to it. Normally, from comments like that, I would've been jumping ahead in my mind to get focused...didn't happen. I grabbed a pew Bible so I had the passage to look at, and participated in worship until I got up to speak.
On I-91, I also sensed the Holy Spirit said it was OK to tell them I was sans notes, so I did. They laughed warmly, and off I went. With the Scripture in front of me and a clear mental sense of the key ideas and structure of my message, I dove in for thirty minutes. Even to me, I was being more focused and coherent; I went places I wouldn't normally, actually preaching the meaning of Matthew 11:28-30. I exposited the text and challenged them to respond to what one commentator referred to as: "an intimacy of fellowship" as His disciple, choosing to be closely yoked to Him and His teaching, because he was gentle and lowly in heart. I located the text to their experience as a church, exhorting them to come to Him, because of the the endearing humility and magnificent grace in His words to Israel in the1st century, and to them yesterday.
When I finished people were very kind and gracious to me; they affirmed I had connected with something very important to them as a congregation. One person told me she had heard that text preached many times over the years, but never in the way I had preached it. I knew people were paying attention, because a number of them leaned forward and stayed there, a few responded verbally to points I made; there was the nodding of heads in agreement and some were staring straight ahead as if considering their lives differently.
In this post, I want to get across not what I did, but what God sovereignly and unexpectedly did to teach me another facet of trust in Him. He not only calmed my anxiety almost immediately, but He spoke through me to His people. Then, He graciously let me be affirmed for it. Honestly, I could've been all over the place, untethered from my notes as I was, but He showed me, once again, He is all the power behind anything I can do in His service. In hindsight after the service, I'd left my notes at home, I had this delightfully sneaking suspicion that God had a hand in me leaving my notes at home. I know it's peculiar to say, but the sense was strong and I had to laugh. It was like, "Do you get it? Do you see what I can do in spite of what you carried as your responsibility?" The whole experience seemed another one of His invitations to be free to trust Him. Man, I desire that level of freedom!
More generally, I really am learning to be less anxious in new situations than ever before. It can be there, but not in a disabling way. My ADD is an insidious tyrant let me tell you; it sabotages and steals my "masculine voice" more often than I 'd like to admit. Yesterday, God showed me how trust in Him settles my soul into what I've been given to do with that voice, despite my foibles and ingrained weaknesses.
After the liberty, joy and pleasure I felt when I reflected on what He'd done, I eagerly want more of such abiding trust, especially if I can see God work the way He did. I recognize the next big battleground, and one of the most obdurate for me is overcoming obstacles to I being freer and more direct (with humility, grace and love) in telling others of Christ. To overcome such a stubborn hurdle would be one of the most beautiful gifts He could give me before I finish my race.
He certainly and delightfully surprised me yesterday. He can surely do it again!
But what I experienced yesterday morning caught my attention. First, let me give a little background. On December 27th of last year I wrote a blog entitled Wandering From My Comfort Zone Last Week:
http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2013/12/wandering-from-my-comfort-zone-last-week.html. In it I talked about how my Lord:
"continues putting me into situations where I've never been. They are more stretching than the ones before because I have either no actual expertise in the task or new adventure I tackle, or I feel exposed because doing so increasingly puts me in circles of relationship new or foreign to me. Looking back over five and a half years, I recognize coming to Northampton has been one continuing series of new encounters and endeavors involving all sorts of folks I've never really been around."
I've learned in fits and starts to see following as His disciple includes many opportunities for stretching and deepening. Spiritual maturity is not a vitamin you can take daily with orange juice; it's a more like fitness training sessions where you're challenged incrementally to get stronger, be more flexible, endure more, and grow more ready to be of use when the Master summons you to a task, mission or journey.
Often too, God in His unparalleled wisdom will surprise us with one of those "what are you gonna do with this?" experiences. They are often unexpected, and "Oh, man! What???" unsettling. Yet they can yield astonishing growth.
Well, yesterday morning, I was on tap to give the message for my friend, Pastor Keith Tolley, at the Greenfield Alliance Church. It was to be the third time I'd spoken there. I know some of the folks because I counsel at the church one day a week. As you'd assumed, I did my preparation and felt ready to share what I'd been given. I also needed to pack a change of clothes because I'd be heading to Hopkinton right after to fetch Tricia and visit our son, daughter-in-law and grand-kiddoes. Normally, I don't wear a jacket and tie to speak as it's gotten more informal on Sunday morning in many churches. Yesterday, I just decided to dress more formally, so I'd need to change when I got to our kid's house. The morning was full of stuff to do.
So, off I went up I-91 for the half hour drive to Greenfield. About twenty minutes out I had an "OH NOOOO!" thought that I couldn't remember picking up my notes from the dining room table and either putting them in my backpack with the change of clothes, or carrying them by hand to the car. Realizing they were still at home, and I didn't have time to go back to retrieve them would normally give me panicky jolt of anxiety and thus ratchet up my ADD distractability. From past experience, I guarantee I'd be pretty disoriented.
You see, I'd never left my notes before in all the retreats, classes, seminars and sermons I'd given over the years. I like notes. They anchor my "oh, look ... a bird!" mind to what I'm trying to say. They're like a trusted co-pilot or navigator. They'd not get the chance this time.
But something remarkable and I'd almost say unique to my experience occurred. The Holy Spirit calmed me within a minute. It was physical. He quietly said I was to trust Him and speak without notes. He reminded me I had studied the passage, and it had been one of my favorite and most-used over the years, especially in retreat ministry. Within a minute, I turned from anxiety to I can do this and it'll be fine. The matter was settled as was I.
By the time I walked into the church, I at peace, engaging folks, and not fixated on trying to remember what I was going to say. Unexpected as well, as I came in, a couple of folks said warmly they were glad when they heard I was speaking and looking forward to it. Normally, from comments like that, I would've been jumping ahead in my mind to get focused...didn't happen. I grabbed a pew Bible so I had the passage to look at, and participated in worship until I got up to speak.
On I-91, I also sensed the Holy Spirit said it was OK to tell them I was sans notes, so I did. They laughed warmly, and off I went. With the Scripture in front of me and a clear mental sense of the key ideas and structure of my message, I dove in for thirty minutes. Even to me, I was being more focused and coherent; I went places I wouldn't normally, actually preaching the meaning of Matthew 11:28-30. I exposited the text and challenged them to respond to what one commentator referred to as: "an intimacy of fellowship" as His disciple, choosing to be closely yoked to Him and His teaching, because he was gentle and lowly in heart. I located the text to their experience as a church, exhorting them to come to Him, because of the the endearing humility and magnificent grace in His words to Israel in the1st century, and to them yesterday.
When I finished people were very kind and gracious to me; they affirmed I had connected with something very important to them as a congregation. One person told me she had heard that text preached many times over the years, but never in the way I had preached it. I knew people were paying attention, because a number of them leaned forward and stayed there, a few responded verbally to points I made; there was the nodding of heads in agreement and some were staring straight ahead as if considering their lives differently.
In this post, I want to get across not what I did, but what God sovereignly and unexpectedly did to teach me another facet of trust in Him. He not only calmed my anxiety almost immediately, but He spoke through me to His people. Then, He graciously let me be affirmed for it. Honestly, I could've been all over the place, untethered from my notes as I was, but He showed me, once again, He is all the power behind anything I can do in His service. In hindsight after the service, I'd left my notes at home, I had this delightfully sneaking suspicion that God had a hand in me leaving my notes at home. I know it's peculiar to say, but the sense was strong and I had to laugh. It was like, "Do you get it? Do you see what I can do in spite of what you carried as your responsibility?" The whole experience seemed another one of His invitations to be free to trust Him. Man, I desire that level of freedom!
More generally, I really am learning to be less anxious in new situations than ever before. It can be there, but not in a disabling way. My ADD is an insidious tyrant let me tell you; it sabotages and steals my "masculine voice" more often than I 'd like to admit. Yesterday, God showed me how trust in Him settles my soul into what I've been given to do with that voice, despite my foibles and ingrained weaknesses.
After the liberty, joy and pleasure I felt when I reflected on what He'd done, I eagerly want more of such abiding trust, especially if I can see God work the way He did. I recognize the next big battleground, and one of the most obdurate for me is overcoming obstacles to I being freer and more direct (with humility, grace and love) in telling others of Christ. To overcome such a stubborn hurdle would be one of the most beautiful gifts He could give me before I finish my race.
He certainly and delightfully surprised me yesterday. He can surely do it again!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Wandering From My Comfort Zone Last Week.
I mentioned before about my being an introvert: http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2010/01/do-introverts-make-good-church-planters.html.Conventional church planting wisdom might question the advisability of introverts being church planters because of the amount of initiating connecting with folks is necessary. I get it, believe me.
But in the last few weeks God has been ramping up putting me in unfamiliar situations where I'm on point. Last week was no exception. It began with my speaking to folks on the Town Council about The Open Table model for helping poor folks transform from being homeless to having a productive life: http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2013/12/meeting-with-northampton-city-council.html.
Then, early Tuesday morning God woke up Tricia and brought 1Corinthians 1:10 to mind: "He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." He told her to tell folks also that we needed $10,000 to overcome a deficit and get even. It's always been financially tough here, but the last quarter of 2013 has proven particularly so. Tricia told me she sensed the Holy Spirit was saying that in folks praying for us and asking others to, they would see the faithfulness of God in how he answered this prayer from all of us.
It's always been hard for me to ask for money; some of it comes from old patterns of shame and all-too-familiar feeling a failure at the core, mixed with liberally anxiety I've battled for most of my life. Some of it's never feeling the opportunity to let people serve God by supporting the Kingdom work he's given us to do. Mind you, folks have been consistently and wonderfully generous to us since we began fill-time ministry in 1980. So it's not as if I've often experienced folks criticizing us when we've made the ask (with a couple of quite painful exceptions). It's just been hard for me to do from the git.
Well, I forwarded the email Tricia sent to me and received all sorts of encouragement. One in particularly was amazing. A friend we're praying will join us next year with her husband in our mission responded with an outline of a strategy for helping people see a way for them to do their part. It was quite creative and essentially noted if 100 people gave $100 we'd reach reach the goal. She outlined it this way:
"What this request looks like to me, is this: 100 of us sends $100.00."
$100.00 = 3 meals out.
4 trips to the movies (without popcorn).
3 months of Netflix or 1 month of cable? (I don't have a TV).
I loved she took the time to think about it, then exhort others to view it this way.
Anyway, to date through his people God has sent over $9000! If I'd've guarded my comfort zone, I'd've balked at sending the email to protect my pride. Glad I didn't! Thank you, Lord, and thank generous and faithful brothers and sisters!
A week ago Thursday, I had a conference call with Jon Katov, the Founder and prime mover of The Open Table ministry for transforming the poor. He asked a couple of folks who had experience with OT and would be of help in the conversation to join our conference call. We talked of how I conceived what I needed to move forward, and a little about who imagine/Northampton is, plus the culture of our small city. By the end of our conversation it was clear we were moving forward, and after the first of the year would begin the process to form a table. As I mentioned in my last blog, I will be meeting with someone in the Mayor's Office to get connections for populating the table. Jon suggested for a first candidate we work with a young man or woman who's "graduated" (I forget the official term for it) out of foster care. That's makes great sense to me.
What ended in frustration last year will begin anew in 2014!
I include this in a blog about my comfort zone because God continues putting me into situations where I've never been. They are more stretching than the ones before because I have either no actual expertise in the task or new adventure I tackle, or I feel exposed because doing so increasingly puts me in circles of relationship new or foreign to me. Looking back over five and a half years, I recognize coming to Northampton has been one continuing series of new encounters and endeavors involving all sorts of folks I've never really been around. Remember, I lived for 20 years at a retreat center on a 40-acre church property where I interacted almost exclusively with Christians. I marvel at how far I've wandered from all manner of comfort zones in the task of planting imagine/Northampton...and for the better. I've thought about it more than once, but never took the plunge.
The sad fact is, since 1FlightUp flamed out unexpectedly over a year ago, I'd played no creative music beyond a couple of short-lived attempts to re-form. In fact, I hadn't touched the drum set pretty much since then. Jim, Eslie, and I had talked of looking for other musicians to form a band, but no one has taken the lead in that, so Friday was my first foray into re-igniting my creative musical side, at least a little bit.
I didn't know what to expect and I did know what to expect. I was pretty sure the folks doing the jam would represent a number of skill levels and experience; their age range was from the 30's to the 70's. I was right. I knew that we'd be playing standards from the jazz canon, more than likely using The Real Book (a compilation created in the 70's of mostly well-known tunes). I was right again. I also expected everyone there would be so because they loved this music and enjoyed playing together. True as well. There were a lot of smiles, friendly encouraging and just plain enjoyment. No one was trying to show off. At the same time, those who could play demonstrated it.
We played for about two and a half hours. I started playing and practicing at 15 so as soon as we began the first tune, my body and creative sensibilities just kicked in. Muscle memory from literally thousands of hours practicing and playing for 50 years took over. It also didn't hurt that I listen instinctively to other musicians to support them as well. Jazz musicians know to do that as requisite for the art form.
I include this in a blog about wandering from my comfort zone because, for me, there's always a little uncertainty about how well I'll do individually, and in the mix of new musicians. I haven't gotten out there for a while as I said. The musicians will be unfamiliar. Playing improvised music always entails a risk:
I plan to play again.
Finally, last Sunday, I preached at imagine. I do so occasionally. It's never been very comfortable to me. I feel the weight of the responsibility, and again, I'm an amateur. While I've probably preached 30-40 times since I became a Christian, it's not natural to me. I'm a communicator, but I don't have a preaching gift. Because of my ADD, there is a good chance I'll say something spontaneously (and not Spirit-inspired) which would have been better left unsaid, particularly using humor - nothing inappropriate, just lame or distracting.
But last Sunday, I wandered furthest from my comfort zone by leading an a cappella Advent hymn sing. I come from a family of singers, my daughters are singers; Tricia loves to sing; I can sing in tune and my voice quality reflects the family I came from. I sang in bands, but...standing up in front of the church and leading an a cappella hymn sing is another story entirely. For instance, you have to begin in a key where the high notes are not to high or the low notes too low for most if not everybody to be able to sing. I had one shot at it. Also, I needed to make sure I started the tune confidently so people could follow and not be awkwardly tentative. Again one shot. Not to be overlooked, I needed to begin a tempo, neither fast nor too slow, so folks could be comfortable with getting the words out. Good song-leading helps people feel unself-conscious thus enabling them to open their hearts to God in the singing.
God was very good to all of us in that I was able to (other than stand alone up front) lead both hymns inconspicuously, and people were able to sing, including harmonize. So while I wandered away from my comfort zone, no one else seemed worse for the wear because of it. Mission accomplished and it was lovely.
I don't expect 2014 will allow me to be holed up in my zone of comfort much. I do hope for the increasing freedom to follow Christ beyond timidity, awkwardness, self-consciousness, laziness, and hesitation in the mission he's given us. Boldness is not a comfort zone essential, but boldness harnessed to faith, grace and love yields life.
I'd like an extra helping of such boldness in 2014. Pray for me that it may be so, and while you're at it, pray it be so for yourself in your Kingdom mission.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
But in the last few weeks God has been ramping up putting me in unfamiliar situations where I'm on point. Last week was no exception. It began with my speaking to folks on the Town Council about The Open Table model for helping poor folks transform from being homeless to having a productive life: http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2013/12/meeting-with-northampton-city-council.html.
Then, early Tuesday morning God woke up Tricia and brought 1Corinthians 1:10 to mind: "He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." He told her to tell folks also that we needed $10,000 to overcome a deficit and get even. It's always been financially tough here, but the last quarter of 2013 has proven particularly so. Tricia told me she sensed the Holy Spirit was saying that in folks praying for us and asking others to, they would see the faithfulness of God in how he answered this prayer from all of us.
It's always been hard for me to ask for money; some of it comes from old patterns of shame and all-too-familiar feeling a failure at the core, mixed with liberally anxiety I've battled for most of my life. Some of it's never feeling the opportunity to let people serve God by supporting the Kingdom work he's given us to do. Mind you, folks have been consistently and wonderfully generous to us since we began fill-time ministry in 1980. So it's not as if I've often experienced folks criticizing us when we've made the ask (with a couple of quite painful exceptions). It's just been hard for me to do from the git.
Well, I forwarded the email Tricia sent to me and received all sorts of encouragement. One in particularly was amazing. A friend we're praying will join us next year with her husband in our mission responded with an outline of a strategy for helping people see a way for them to do their part. It was quite creative and essentially noted if 100 people gave $100 we'd reach reach the goal. She outlined it this way:
"What this request looks like to me, is this: 100 of us sends $100.00."
$100.00 = 3 meals out.
4 trips to the movies (without popcorn).
3 months of Netflix or 1 month of cable? (I don't have a TV).
I loved she took the time to think about it, then exhort others to view it this way.
Anyway, to date through his people God has sent over $9000! If I'd've guarded my comfort zone, I'd've balked at sending the email to protect my pride. Glad I didn't! Thank you, Lord, and thank generous and faithful brothers and sisters!
*****
A week ago Thursday, I had a conference call with Jon Katov, the Founder and prime mover of The Open Table ministry for transforming the poor. He asked a couple of folks who had experience with OT and would be of help in the conversation to join our conference call. We talked of how I conceived what I needed to move forward, and a little about who imagine/Northampton is, plus the culture of our small city. By the end of our conversation it was clear we were moving forward, and after the first of the year would begin the process to form a table. As I mentioned in my last blog, I will be meeting with someone in the Mayor's Office to get connections for populating the table. Jon suggested for a first candidate we work with a young man or woman who's "graduated" (I forget the official term for it) out of foster care. That's makes great sense to me.
What ended in frustration last year will begin anew in 2014!
I include this in a blog about my comfort zone because God continues putting me into situations where I've never been. They are more stretching than the ones before because I have either no actual expertise in the task or new adventure I tackle, or I feel exposed because doing so increasingly puts me in circles of relationship new or foreign to me. Looking back over five and a half years, I recognize coming to Northampton has been one continuing series of new encounters and endeavors involving all sorts of folks I've never really been around. Remember, I lived for 20 years at a retreat center on a 40-acre church property where I interacted almost exclusively with Christians. I marvel at how far I've wandered from all manner of comfort zones in the task of planting imagine/Northampton...and for the better. I've thought about it more than once, but never took the plunge.
*****
Last Friday night, I loaded up the car with my smaller drumset and made the short trek to the Unitarian Society of Northampton to be a part of the monthly jazz jam held there. For some reason, I'd been on a mailing list inviting me to come and play. I'd never taken them up on it, but I decided to give it a shot.
The sad fact is, since 1FlightUp flamed out unexpectedly over a year ago, I'd played no creative music beyond a couple of short-lived attempts to re-form. In fact, I hadn't touched the drum set pretty much since then. Jim, Eslie, and I had talked of looking for other musicians to form a band, but no one has taken the lead in that, so Friday was my first foray into re-igniting my creative musical side, at least a little bit.
I didn't know what to expect and I did know what to expect. I was pretty sure the folks doing the jam would represent a number of skill levels and experience; their age range was from the 30's to the 70's. I was right. I knew that we'd be playing standards from the jazz canon, more than likely using The Real Book (a compilation created in the 70's of mostly well-known tunes). I was right again. I also expected everyone there would be so because they loved this music and enjoyed playing together. True as well. There were a lot of smiles, friendly encouraging and just plain enjoyment. No one was trying to show off. At the same time, those who could play demonstrated it.
We played for about two and a half hours. I started playing and practicing at 15 so as soon as we began the first tune, my body and creative sensibilities just kicked in. Muscle memory from literally thousands of hours practicing and playing for 50 years took over. It also didn't hurt that I listen instinctively to other musicians to support them as well. Jazz musicians know to do that as requisite for the art form.
I include this in a blog about wandering from my comfort zone because, for me, there's always a little uncertainty about how well I'll do individually, and in the mix of new musicians. I haven't gotten out there for a while as I said. The musicians will be unfamiliar. Playing improvised music always entails a risk:
- Will I make good musical choices?
- Will the other musicians like what I play, or will I not be able to play something?
- Will I get lost or make a rhythmic mistake which throws off the other players?
- Will I enhance the collective music-making?
- What if I can't really play anymore?
I plan to play again.
*****
Finally, last Sunday, I preached at imagine. I do so occasionally. It's never been very comfortable to me. I feel the weight of the responsibility, and again, I'm an amateur. While I've probably preached 30-40 times since I became a Christian, it's not natural to me. I'm a communicator, but I don't have a preaching gift. Because of my ADD, there is a good chance I'll say something spontaneously (and not Spirit-inspired) which would have been better left unsaid, particularly using humor - nothing inappropriate, just lame or distracting.
But last Sunday, I wandered furthest from my comfort zone by leading an a cappella Advent hymn sing. I come from a family of singers, my daughters are singers; Tricia loves to sing; I can sing in tune and my voice quality reflects the family I came from. I sang in bands, but...standing up in front of the church and leading an a cappella hymn sing is another story entirely. For instance, you have to begin in a key where the high notes are not to high or the low notes too low for most if not everybody to be able to sing. I had one shot at it. Also, I needed to make sure I started the tune confidently so people could follow and not be awkwardly tentative. Again one shot. Not to be overlooked, I needed to begin a tempo, neither fast nor too slow, so folks could be comfortable with getting the words out. Good song-leading helps people feel unself-conscious thus enabling them to open their hearts to God in the singing.
God was very good to all of us in that I was able to (other than stand alone up front) lead both hymns inconspicuously, and people were able to sing, including harmonize. So while I wandered away from my comfort zone, no one else seemed worse for the wear because of it. Mission accomplished and it was lovely.
*****
I'd like an extra helping of such boldness in 2014. Pray for me that it may be so, and while you're at it, pray it be so for yourself in your Kingdom mission.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Meeting With Northampton City Council Members Last Night About The OPEN TABLE Opportunity.
In October of 2012, I wrote a blog called imagine/Northampton's OPEN TABLE Opportunity: http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2012/10/imaginenorthamptons-open-table.html. In it, I expressed my excitement over the possibility we could learn and employ an innovative model for helping homeless transform. We'd had the opportunity to have the Founder, Jon Katov spend a weekend with us to explain what the Open Table model was, and how it might work in our neck of the woods. When he left, we were pumped.
So I and Dave Sweeney began to brainstorm what needed to be done. I did the lion-share of the footwork contacting people to see if we could form a table with imagine folks and others sympathetic to the model. I was able to do so fairly quickly. The harder part was finding the right person who'd benefit from the Open Table. This was all new to me. I connected with a whole bunch of folks in town from ServiceNET staff to city government representatives, as well as other agencies working on the tough and growing problem of homelessness. The initial footwork was tedious in that my gifts are not a great fit for such work. I was an introverted fish far from the water, but I gradually made contacts and talked with people. Everyone I talked was intrigued and very supportive.
Eight months in, I ran into a wall where I felt no momentum, and began to let frustration discolor the picture. Without getting into the details, I pulled the plug on the project last summer. I told Jon it just wasn't going to work and I'd done run out of steam. He tried to exhort me to hang on, but I just had no remaining fire in my belly for it. In reality, I was naive and immaturely impatient, feeling I was letting everyone down on this side, and I couldn't bear the weight of it. I let a false sense of shame lie to me. Pride was whispering also.
With the phone call to Jon, I assumed the deal was done and moved on. I wasn't happy about it, but resigned.
Well...one of the people I'd contacted was a woman in the Mayor's Office who has responsibility for housing and community development planning. She'd graciously given me an hour plus of her time earlier this year before I pulled the plug. She was excited by what I explained, even moved by the graciousness of the model. At one point she had tears in her eyes. She said I needed to present it to the Town Council. We tried to make that happen in the Spring, but scheduling prevented it. So, she scheduled it for this December.
I thought it wouldn't happened. When she made contact to let me know it was on, I told her I'd not been able to get the thing going, therefore it seemed pointless for me get in front of the Council. She disagreed vehemently saying that even if it was not operating I needed to tell them about it. She was insistent. I heard God in that.
So last night, I met in Council Chambers with Bill Dwight, the City Council President, Councilor At-Large, Marianne L. LaBarge , representing Ward 6, and Peg Keller, the Housing & Community Development Senior Planner in the Mayor's Office who'd encouraged me to stay the course. I laid out the values, principles, and process of the Open Table model. It took about 20 minutes. They asked intelligent questions which I very much appreciated. I recognized they'd had a long history dealing with housing and homelessness problems.
I was heartened by how encouraging they were especially since we'd be volunteering to do this, using volunteers from the community to share skills and build a team around someone until they were able to get on their feet. One of them mentioned it was gracious, kind and courageous to do what we were offering. The fact we weren't looking for money or being paid was notable. Another said it was clear we were doing it from the heart, the most important reason.
Bill asked what we needed from the Council. Immediately, I responded, "connections!"; particularly with folks who'd be willing to be on the table based from what would be needed for the particular brother or sister. He was pleased with my response and said they could be very helpful with providing contacts. I felt God was opening a door I thought sadly closed, a failure because of me.
As I started to walked out of the Chambers, Peg told me to give her a call right after the first of the year and she'd be able to provide me with all the connections I'd want. Again, I felt God giving me the green light; opening a door I closed because I'd run out of options or so I thought. He had not closed the door apparently.
But I had one more thing to do.
You'll remember Jon challenged me to not give up but I didn't listen to him. I know I'd let him down because he'd lined up some coaches for us to really get things moving and I bailed. I felt convicted I'd done him wrong so right after I returned from the meeting last night, I sent him an email telling him that I'd spoken to City Council members and the door seemed to be re-opening. I asked for his forgiveness in stopping the project. He was very kind and gracious in responding saying we'd both needed to slow it down. Wow.
We'll be talking on the phone this Thursday. Please pray God directs us into his will, and gives me the ability to do my part lacking nothing necessary to making me able.
So apparently, the Lord is giving us another chance to make this happen under His unction. He's giving me a second opportunity to actually launch a major resource in New England to help alleviate poverty and homelessness in our city and beyond. What an opportunity I almost squandered!
I'll let you know how it goes after the first of the year.
Merry Christmas!
So I and Dave Sweeney began to brainstorm what needed to be done. I did the lion-share of the footwork contacting people to see if we could form a table with imagine folks and others sympathetic to the model. I was able to do so fairly quickly. The harder part was finding the right person who'd benefit from the Open Table. This was all new to me. I connected with a whole bunch of folks in town from ServiceNET staff to city government representatives, as well as other agencies working on the tough and growing problem of homelessness. The initial footwork was tedious in that my gifts are not a great fit for such work. I was an introverted fish far from the water, but I gradually made contacts and talked with people. Everyone I talked was intrigued and very supportive.
Eight months in, I ran into a wall where I felt no momentum, and began to let frustration discolor the picture. Without getting into the details, I pulled the plug on the project last summer. I told Jon it just wasn't going to work and I'd done run out of steam. He tried to exhort me to hang on, but I just had no remaining fire in my belly for it. In reality, I was naive and immaturely impatient, feeling I was letting everyone down on this side, and I couldn't bear the weight of it. I let a false sense of shame lie to me. Pride was whispering also.
With the phone call to Jon, I assumed the deal was done and moved on. I wasn't happy about it, but resigned.
Well...one of the people I'd contacted was a woman in the Mayor's Office who has responsibility for housing and community development planning. She'd graciously given me an hour plus of her time earlier this year before I pulled the plug. She was excited by what I explained, even moved by the graciousness of the model. At one point she had tears in her eyes. She said I needed to present it to the Town Council. We tried to make that happen in the Spring, but scheduling prevented it. So, she scheduled it for this December.
I thought it wouldn't happened. When she made contact to let me know it was on, I told her I'd not been able to get the thing going, therefore it seemed pointless for me get in front of the Council. She disagreed vehemently saying that even if it was not operating I needed to tell them about it. She was insistent. I heard God in that.
So last night, I met in Council Chambers with Bill Dwight, the City Council President, Councilor At-Large, Marianne L. LaBarge , representing Ward 6, and Peg Keller, the Housing & Community Development Senior Planner in the Mayor's Office who'd encouraged me to stay the course. I laid out the values, principles, and process of the Open Table model. It took about 20 minutes. They asked intelligent questions which I very much appreciated. I recognized they'd had a long history dealing with housing and homelessness problems.
I was heartened by how encouraging they were especially since we'd be volunteering to do this, using volunteers from the community to share skills and build a team around someone until they were able to get on their feet. One of them mentioned it was gracious, kind and courageous to do what we were offering. The fact we weren't looking for money or being paid was notable. Another said it was clear we were doing it from the heart, the most important reason.
Bill asked what we needed from the Council. Immediately, I responded, "connections!"; particularly with folks who'd be willing to be on the table based from what would be needed for the particular brother or sister. He was pleased with my response and said they could be very helpful with providing contacts. I felt God was opening a door I thought sadly closed, a failure because of me.
As I started to walked out of the Chambers, Peg told me to give her a call right after the first of the year and she'd be able to provide me with all the connections I'd want. Again, I felt God giving me the green light; opening a door I closed because I'd run out of options or so I thought. He had not closed the door apparently.
But I had one more thing to do.
You'll remember Jon challenged me to not give up but I didn't listen to him. I know I'd let him down because he'd lined up some coaches for us to really get things moving and I bailed. I felt convicted I'd done him wrong so right after I returned from the meeting last night, I sent him an email telling him that I'd spoken to City Council members and the door seemed to be re-opening. I asked for his forgiveness in stopping the project. He was very kind and gracious in responding saying we'd both needed to slow it down. Wow.
We'll be talking on the phone this Thursday. Please pray God directs us into his will, and gives me the ability to do my part lacking nothing necessary to making me able.
So apparently, the Lord is giving us another chance to make this happen under His unction. He's giving me a second opportunity to actually launch a major resource in New England to help alleviate poverty and homelessness in our city and beyond. What an opportunity I almost squandered!
I'll let you know how it goes after the first of the year.
Merry Christmas!
Season of Advent: THE SACRED PAUSE: WAITING
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Pilgrimage: St. Peter's 1 (2011)
Michelle Arnold Paine
When we look at the first two chapters
of Luke we see the story of Jesus’ birth introducing us to people who are waiting: Zechariah and Elizabeth, Mary, Simeon and Anna.
In our culture, waiting is often seen
as a waste of time. When we find ourselves in the experience of waiting our restlessness pushes us to want to do something, get going, or try to make something happen. We
question “Why are we just sitting here waiting?”
Waiting can be for some of us an
isolated desert experience. We tend to keep our attentions confused between
where we want to go and where we really are. We are restless and preoccupied
and often find ourselves trying to do something to get out of waiting.
What often fuels this unwillingness to
wait is fear. When we are fearful we have a hard time waiting because when afraid we want to get away from where we are.
Yet, what do we see in the beginning of Luke’s
gospel? We see people who hear the words “do not be afraid. I have something
good to say to you.” What is established is the truth that they are waiting for
something new and good to happen. These are people who trust and count on the
word of God. They are able to wait and be attentive and expectant in their waiting.
What is the nature and practice of
waiting? How does God want us to
understand the importance of waiting? LUKE 1:13, 31 “Zechariah…your wife
Elizabeth is to bear you a son.” “Mary… Listen! You are to conceive and
bear a son.” There is something happening here that is a key to understanding
what waiting is all about. It is that they have received a promise that within
them they sense that something is at work.
Waiting has to do with having what
we are waiting for already begin in us.We do not wait in a place that moves
from nothing to nothing more. Rather, we move from something toward something
more. In this place of waiting we see Zechariah, Mary and Elizabeth
inspired to wait because of the seed of God’s promise planted
in them. They are able to let this seed grow and nurture and feed them…to
be birthed in them
.
Waiting is not passive, but active. We
might view it as a hopeless state, but we see in scripture that waiting more
about being alive and present to the moment at hand. The splendid reality
remains something is happening where
you are, and you are wise to be attentive to such moments. What is being
birthed in you?
A waiting person is a patient person. The word patient means:
the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out in the
realization that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.
An impatient person is always expecting the real thing to happen in some other place.
Mary and Elizabeth modeled what waiting
is all about. They were able to pay attention, and be alert and patient in the waiting so they could hear the voice of the Lord. Even when they doubted at first, they waited to hear God’s response.
Waiting is also where we need to give
up control because to wait is often open-ended. We want definite, clear-cut,
concrete answers. We cannot stay in the place of waiting because we get wrapped
up in wishes instead of living in a place of hope. Wishes tend to have attached
to them the need to control the future. We want to do the thing that will make
the desired result take place. Our wishes also can be tied to nagging fears.
The difference with Mary, Elizabeth and
Zechariah is they were not filled with wishes, but with HOPE.
Henry Nouwen describes hope this way:
“Hope is trusting that something will be fulfilled, but fulfilled according to
the promises and not according to our wishes.
Mary was in the place of open-ended
waiting. Her words “I am the handmaiden of the lord … let what you have said to me be done,” are words that speak of trusting good things will happen even
when we don’t know what it all means. Our waiting, like Mary’s, should be open
to all possibilities. For when we listen
carefully, we can trust in letting God define our life according to His Love
for us and not according to our fears. Henry Nouwen defines spiritual life as,
“a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new
things will happen to us, new things far beyond our own imagination, fantasy,
or prediction.”
In this beautiful, effulgent season, we are reminded to wait for the one who is our hope. Not based in
positive or negative
thinking or as a matter of chance, Jesus is our hope and our hope in Him is based on the God who
will be with us at all times, in all
places, whatever happens.
When we wait where Jesus is our hope,
we are in an active movement of God leading us. Mary was in a posture of actively waiting for
God to fulfill what He promised her. It was letting God be God and letting the
Lord speak forth life
into her waiting.
GOD
LIGHTS THE WAY TO FOLLOW EVEN IN OUR WAITING AND SEARCHING.
Often we are unable to wait because we don’t know how God is showing us how to wait or where it will lead us, if we do manage to wait.
Often we are unable to wait because we don’t know how God is showing us how to wait or where it will lead us, if we do manage to wait.
Truth be
told, the Christmas star is an invitation to each of us to follow, a calling
forth from God to go where He is. The star is God’s finger pointing to where we
can find Him. The star points to Jesus, Jesus points to who and what God is; we
can find Him in the midst of our searching and our waiting.
God is
asking us to live in the movement of God leading us as we follow the star put
before us. We are waiting for what is to come, but engaged in God leading,
guiding us. We wait; listening to Him who is there with us in the waiting. Our
waiting becomes more familiar and still, and we realize that who we are waiting
for is with us, here to speak to us in the middle of the waiting into the
silence of our hearts.
The star is the symbol to follow the light in the places of darkness. We may not know where, or how, or which way to go in the darkness, but the finger of God is pointing the way for us to follow.
The star is the symbol to follow the light in the places of darkness. We may not know where, or how, or which way to go in the darkness, but the finger of God is pointing the way for us to follow.
________________________________________________________________
Look at the
paintings on the walls. Are you drawn toward any one of them? Spend some time
gazing at a painting or more. Ask God to reveal something about who he is or who
you are in him? Stay in this listening posture until you’ve sense God is
finished speaking to you by what you’ve seen.
Now reflect
on the questions below. Listen for his response to you:
1. Lord, how
do you want to best prepare my heart in this time of waiting?
2. Father, how do you want me to follow your light that points the way you set before me?
2. Father, how do you want me to follow your light that points the way you set before me?
Monday, December 2, 2013
Lunching With New Members At The Northampton Chamber Of Commerce.
Since we've been living on Main Street, we've seen it essential to connect with our neighbors who make up a combination of business folks, apartment and condominium dwellers, community service folks, and homeless/poor people who spend the day selling homemade crafts or asking for money. We are a part of the Main Street community, and as such, we support businesses near us as much as we can, and we've gotten to know many of the street folks, some of then quite well.
A year or so into being here, God seemed to nudge me about imagine becoming a part of the Chamber. I didn't move on it until Dave Sweeney who is a part of imagine and a member of the Chamber even though he lives in Agawam, invited me to an Arrive@ 5 meet and greet event a few months ago. I'm an introvert, so it was with some trepidation that I went. The folks I met were warm and friendly: I had a chance to chat a bit with Jasmin, the Member Services Manager who was very helpful in explaining how the Chamber might fit us and we them. A month or so after, Tricia and I joined Dave again for another meet and greet. We met a few more folks, and the door opened to joining which we did 4 months ago.
Today, Tricia and I went to a New Member Orientation at the Chamber offices.The room was packed with folks who'd recently joined. The meeting's purpose was to introduce ourselves, and then hear a presentation about the benefits of being a Northampton Chamber of Commerce member. It was informal and over a light lunch. Suzanne Beck, the Executive Director of the Chamber gave a helpful presentation, and then opened the floor to questions or comments. A little later, she asked if anyone wanted to comment about the benefits they'd experienced from being a member or any other thoughts. After a couple of folks talked, I explained that being a Chamber member, given we were a church, was a kind of "pioneering" act in that we were the only church in Noho who were members, and none of the pastors I knew in the outlying areas were members of their Chambers. Given that we aren't a business (the Chamber does serve a small percentage of non-profits) it might appear, on the surface, there was no benefit to anyone. I then noted we moved onto Main Street for the express purpose of becoming part of the community; to know and be of service to our neighbors because we cared for the community and wanted to benefit it. On the contrary, I asked why wouldn't a church want to be a Chamber member so as to know the business community and be of help where we were needed.
imagine/Northampton's stated mission has always been to: "help people discover and follow the God who is more than they imagine." To do so, we have to build relationships; real, genuine friendships with our neighbors, loving and serving them as they have need that we might show Christ's love to them which is the Treasure of all treasures. We've done so in a number of ways since moving here; a Chamber membership is another avenue of knowing and caring for people near us. Whether it's through the imagine ART Gallery, FEAST, the Florence Organic Community Garden, serving a meal at the Interfaith Shelter, giving out Christmas Gift Bags to our homeless neighbors, supporting Safe Passage, working in Hospice, or serving children and families at Halloween, or anything else, our goal is to serve with Jesus as he works in our Northampton community to open hearts to freedom and joy.
Happily, I've been very impressed by the passion, warmth, friendliness and dedication I've seen in the staff we've met at the Chamber. They are full of enthusiasm for their mission and I think we have something to offer our neighbors in the business community through our passion for imagine's mission. We'll see how the relationship unfolds. I hope it enfolds.
This Friday morning, Tricia and I will sit down with Jasmin to go through something they call a Game Plan to help new members get really connected.
Looking forward to it.
A year or so into being here, God seemed to nudge me about imagine becoming a part of the Chamber. I didn't move on it until Dave Sweeney who is a part of imagine and a member of the Chamber even though he lives in Agawam, invited me to an Arrive@ 5 meet and greet event a few months ago. I'm an introvert, so it was with some trepidation that I went. The folks I met were warm and friendly: I had a chance to chat a bit with Jasmin, the Member Services Manager who was very helpful in explaining how the Chamber might fit us and we them. A month or so after, Tricia and I joined Dave again for another meet and greet. We met a few more folks, and the door opened to joining which we did 4 months ago.
Today, Tricia and I went to a New Member Orientation at the Chamber offices.The room was packed with folks who'd recently joined. The meeting's purpose was to introduce ourselves, and then hear a presentation about the benefits of being a Northampton Chamber of Commerce member. It was informal and over a light lunch. Suzanne Beck, the Executive Director of the Chamber gave a helpful presentation, and then opened the floor to questions or comments. A little later, she asked if anyone wanted to comment about the benefits they'd experienced from being a member or any other thoughts. After a couple of folks talked, I explained that being a Chamber member, given we were a church, was a kind of "pioneering" act in that we were the only church in Noho who were members, and none of the pastors I knew in the outlying areas were members of their Chambers. Given that we aren't a business (the Chamber does serve a small percentage of non-profits) it might appear, on the surface, there was no benefit to anyone. I then noted we moved onto Main Street for the express purpose of becoming part of the community; to know and be of service to our neighbors because we cared for the community and wanted to benefit it. On the contrary, I asked why wouldn't a church want to be a Chamber member so as to know the business community and be of help where we were needed.
imagine/Northampton's stated mission has always been to: "help people discover and follow the God who is more than they imagine." To do so, we have to build relationships; real, genuine friendships with our neighbors, loving and serving them as they have need that we might show Christ's love to them which is the Treasure of all treasures. We've done so in a number of ways since moving here; a Chamber membership is another avenue of knowing and caring for people near us. Whether it's through the imagine ART Gallery, FEAST, the Florence Organic Community Garden, serving a meal at the Interfaith Shelter, giving out Christmas Gift Bags to our homeless neighbors, supporting Safe Passage, working in Hospice, or serving children and families at Halloween, or anything else, our goal is to serve with Jesus as he works in our Northampton community to open hearts to freedom and joy.
Happily, I've been very impressed by the passion, warmth, friendliness and dedication I've seen in the staff we've met at the Chamber. They are full of enthusiasm for their mission and I think we have something to offer our neighbors in the business community through our passion for imagine's mission. We'll see how the relationship unfolds. I hope it enfolds.
This Friday morning, Tricia and I will sit down with Jasmin to go through something they call a Game Plan to help new members get really connected.
Looking forward to it.
Monday, November 25, 2013
When Brothers Listen, Forgive and Reconcile There Is a Kingdom Sweetness Present.
Sometimes Kingdom ministry makes all the effort you put into serving and trying to do some good worth every bit of it. Yesterday in the afternoon after our gathering, I had the opportunity to sit around a table at a local eatery with two brothers who were taking the chance to overcome some hurts between them. Hurst which had broken their relationship.
Two weeks prior, I'd sat with one of them and we talked of how I'd hurt him and he'd hurt me. Jesus engineered the opportunity by bringing us together at a funeral of someone we both knew. Later, at a coffee place in town, we talked of failure and missed opportunity. The hurting was not premeditated on either of our parts. As we headed into the dialogue, there were nerves present, sure; a year ago our attempts to work out things had gone badly; the relationship was in effect deceased. But at that table two weeks prior, there was a desire in both of us to listen and reconnect. It was strong. We'd shared all sorts of life together before, and because of what happened between us, lost a year until finally being able to sit down, and try to make things right, which is the way we're supposed to live in the Kingdom together. All of us know "supposed to's" aren't necessarily always "will do's."
We did work it out and recognized there was a second conversation needing to be had with another brother we were both in relationship with. His was pretty much severed with this brother; mine was not.
So yesterday afternoon, we braved the cold wind, trudged up Main Street, and sat down over coffee at a different coffee place. I was not on the receiving or giving end of this discussion. I was there to listen, and pray, and help if things began to run aground. I supported both these men because they are my brothers.
For much of the next two hours they talked over what had happened. Both men were humble, willing to hear, and open to reconciling. The younger man did more talking than the older, but both were very engaged. Pain was shared and sometimes with tears not far away. No rancor nor defensiveness was present, only trying to understand and forgive ... genuinely forgive. I saw much grace and wisdom in how they talked with one another. The tone of their words and willingness to reconnect built a bridge over which they could cross toward the others side. There were times when we all laughed heartily, and there were other times sprinkled in the conversation where listening well and opening to the other's point of view was fully present.
As an interesting side note, there were folks sitting near us and could hear our conversations. The same was true when I had the dialogue with this young brother earlier. In each instance, people looked at us and heard us talk of tough things, yet remain gentle and willing to change. They knew we were Christians involved in church together. It was obvious by the words we used and the issues we worked through. I have to say, what they heard would in no way have disgraced our witness to the fact we are Christ-followers. I think they heard something different, very real, but full of grace from both sides of the table...the way the Kingdom does and should work when we actually live it.
I don't know if the others guys felt it, I didn't ask, but I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in both conversations. There was a palpable peace, openness, and order, instead of offense, and vitriol, or rigid defensiveness. In the title of this blog, I used the word sweetness. I mean it in the sense of a masculine gentleness and kind forbearance with one another; working well to keep the bonds of filial peace and love; being malleable in relationship to the truth, even that which convicts; and showing forth the heart of God toward one another, realizing all of us were once blind sinners far from God, and needed a cross to make the relationship with him (and one another) right. The Scripture also says where the Spirit is there is freedom. There is a sweetness in being free to forgive, make real peace, and be willing to restore brotherhood in Christ. It's not being weak or nice or feckless. This sweetness is inhabited by the Presence of Christ; it's a fierce love which overcomes our blinded brokenness, and frees us to be human as he lived what true masculine humanity looked like.
If you've read this blog regularly you know I've mentioned before that the Kingdom works when its values, truths and principles are actually applied to real life. More often than we'd like to admit, they're not applied very well, especially when the going is consistently uncomfortable, frustrating, costly or tough. Two weeks ago, and yesterday I saw them applied in two very human brothers, and it left me with quiet joy.
Two weeks prior, I'd sat with one of them and we talked of how I'd hurt him and he'd hurt me. Jesus engineered the opportunity by bringing us together at a funeral of someone we both knew. Later, at a coffee place in town, we talked of failure and missed opportunity. The hurting was not premeditated on either of our parts. As we headed into the dialogue, there were nerves present, sure; a year ago our attempts to work out things had gone badly; the relationship was in effect deceased. But at that table two weeks prior, there was a desire in both of us to listen and reconnect. It was strong. We'd shared all sorts of life together before, and because of what happened between us, lost a year until finally being able to sit down, and try to make things right, which is the way we're supposed to live in the Kingdom together. All of us know "supposed to's" aren't necessarily always "will do's."
We did work it out and recognized there was a second conversation needing to be had with another brother we were both in relationship with. His was pretty much severed with this brother; mine was not.
So yesterday afternoon, we braved the cold wind, trudged up Main Street, and sat down over coffee at a different coffee place. I was not on the receiving or giving end of this discussion. I was there to listen, and pray, and help if things began to run aground. I supported both these men because they are my brothers.
For much of the next two hours they talked over what had happened. Both men were humble, willing to hear, and open to reconciling. The younger man did more talking than the older, but both were very engaged. Pain was shared and sometimes with tears not far away. No rancor nor defensiveness was present, only trying to understand and forgive ... genuinely forgive. I saw much grace and wisdom in how they talked with one another. The tone of their words and willingness to reconnect built a bridge over which they could cross toward the others side. There were times when we all laughed heartily, and there were other times sprinkled in the conversation where listening well and opening to the other's point of view was fully present.
As an interesting side note, there were folks sitting near us and could hear our conversations. The same was true when I had the dialogue with this young brother earlier. In each instance, people looked at us and heard us talk of tough things, yet remain gentle and willing to change. They knew we were Christians involved in church together. It was obvious by the words we used and the issues we worked through. I have to say, what they heard would in no way have disgraced our witness to the fact we are Christ-followers. I think they heard something different, very real, but full of grace from both sides of the table...the way the Kingdom does and should work when we actually live it.
I don't know if the others guys felt it, I didn't ask, but I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in both conversations. There was a palpable peace, openness, and order, instead of offense, and vitriol, or rigid defensiveness. In the title of this blog, I used the word sweetness. I mean it in the sense of a masculine gentleness and kind forbearance with one another; working well to keep the bonds of filial peace and love; being malleable in relationship to the truth, even that which convicts; and showing forth the heart of God toward one another, realizing all of us were once blind sinners far from God, and needed a cross to make the relationship with him (and one another) right. The Scripture also says where the Spirit is there is freedom. There is a sweetness in being free to forgive, make real peace, and be willing to restore brotherhood in Christ. It's not being weak or nice or feckless. This sweetness is inhabited by the Presence of Christ; it's a fierce love which overcomes our blinded brokenness, and frees us to be human as he lived what true masculine humanity looked like.
If you've read this blog regularly you know I've mentioned before that the Kingdom works when its values, truths and principles are actually applied to real life. More often than we'd like to admit, they're not applied very well, especially when the going is consistently uncomfortable, frustrating, costly or tough. Two weeks ago, and yesterday I saw them applied in two very human brothers, and it left me with quiet joy.
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