Challenging the Desiccating Higgledy-Piggledy.

I've been meaning to write for awhile. But writing at all takes presence and peace of mind which has been hard to maintain in the unrelenting higgledy-piggledy. My mind quickly fogs in the stress which has inhabited most of 2014, much of the time. To write, at least for me, requires stress be held at bay. Otherwise, my ADD hitches to the stress train and into the fog we race.

Our scenario for weeks been set by 2 questions: Will we be able to stay here in Northampton, or will we be forced to go?" Every day presents differing degrees of confusion regarding those questions from experiencing brief respites to "it's all over; let's get packing and cut our losses while we still can."

Both of us hate the emotional turmoil to be honest.

There is some clarity. We will move out of our apartment on Main Street by mid-August. The plan is to move to a house on the property of Pinebrook Christian Camp in Shutesbury about 40 minutes away. Kevin and Janet Williams who've been directors of the camp for 18 years and are members of imagine/Northampton (and the Leadership Team) have graciously offered it to us, and their Board has agreed. We will be able to catch our breath, have some room to get back on our feet financially (a great need as it's been really scary) and refocus our energies toward rebuilding.

The above move presupposes we keep the imagine offices and the imagine ART Gallery on Main Street so we're not completely displaced from the city. That way we can maintain our presence in Northampton and pursue the Kingdom mission we were called to. Our new living arrangement will be temporary until we've stabilized financially and regained our bearings. We want to come back and live in or near Northampton, but not on Main Street.

The option we're undertaking also presupposes:

1. The imagine/Northampton Church grows numerically. If it does, it will need to leave the offices and find another space. That's good, especially if we stay in Northampton. There is commitment to do so on the part of the leadership.

2. Klesis must grow and expand the ministries it offers to support Tricia and me financially: more PLAYMAKER Profiles of Motivational Design; more Listening in Christ Retreats for Groups and Immersion Retreats for individuals and couples; more counseling and spiritual direction sessions. We can also take pressure off our small church to support us. It has not really been able to since the beginning of 2014.

3. Develop Patrons for the imagine ART Gallery so we can expand the gallery's outreach and better meet it's costs, especially rent of the space. Maybe some of you would be interested; let's talk.

4. Expanding our donor base for the church, as well as for Klesis.

5. Cutting and holding down costs across the board.

If we can do all of those things by God's grace and supply we have a fighting chance of sustaining and growing the ministries. It would be fairly easy to call it a day given what we've endured. A trusted friend of mine and a Klesis Board member has graciously offered office space in another town. But each time I've considered it, my heart struggles. So much of what has been happening feels as if we're being forced from here against our wills. Sure, we've made mistakes, been dreamers sometimes, and not been as proactive as we've needed to be at times -- especially me -- but my heart kept saying "no" as if I'd stepped out of phase with my purpose for a minute. I've not fought hard enough in the places where I'm uncomfortable, but that shouldn't determine whether we leave or stay.

So I'm beginning to fight. The way I'm doing it is by leaving my comfort zone and advocating for what we need in a way I never have. I did it twice last week and plan to do more this coming week. We won't have if we don't ask. If I venture little, I gain the same - unacceptable.

Also, our landlord has graciously offered to lower the office rent by 25%. That's substantial. He wants us to stay, especially after he attended the last Arts Night Out and saw the space teeming with guests. In his own words: "I want to see the church survive in Northampton. I think it is a fine addition to the downtown." He is not a Christian.

Some friends of ours in the area will be providing monthly support which will help take the edge of. And, we are waiting for tax money our tax preparer found we are entitled to, but had not taken previously. We are also waiting for a state tax refund which will help.

We could really use your prevailing prayer on our behalf, but also your considering giving to the mission, either Klesis or imagine, if you haven't. Contact me and we can talk about it. If you are giving, stick with us until we clear these hurdles. If there are others you think would support what we're about, let them and me know so I can tell them about what God is up to here. I'd love to do that.

There is much more to do; the imagine/Northampton folks need to step up, and Klesis needs to step up. Of course, unless God builds the house we labor in vain, but I'm not convinced He has left us to our own puny building skills.

Nothing Ventured; Nothing Gained.

There' a well-worn proverb I've heard many times over the years, but it never embedded. Late last week, Tricia and I were watching a harmless reality show called North Woods Law. It's about the adventures and challenges of being a Game Warden in Maine. I watch because I love anything back country-open space. It's in my blood. These folks make their living in such environs.

Anyway, early in the show one of the Wardens has to check on a family that might be violent because of drug dealing, and the word is out they're keeping a ball python in their house. Twice in the first few minutes of the show, he says about checking things out, "Nothing ventured; nothing gained." Apparently, this proverb has a long history, the saying dates back to Chaucer (c. 1374).

For reasons I realize now, it stuck because God has been "prodding" me to finally address my life-long struggle with anxiety. I won't write about it now, but suffice it to say, it has caused problems in my life, and probably resulted in some losses.

"Nothing ventured; nothing gained," stood out and stuck in because the Holy Spirit has been dealing with my decades-long, irrational fear of asking for money. It could be asking clients to pay me for my work, including reminding them about it. I always felt uneasy about taking a paycheck because I've worked in non-profits for decades. This fear is nuts, but resiliently influential.

Skip forward to asking imagine donors to donate, and I lean toward panic. Procrastination is my shield. To be fair, I had an almost traumatic experience with asking for donations a decade ago. I was talked into it and then rebuked harshly by the very person who encouraged me to give it a try. Initiating the ask for money feels for me like intruding or stepping over a boundary. Yet,God's made it clear - even through Tricia - I am to get over my fear and ask with gentle assertiveness, i.e., nothing ventured; nothing gained. It's a responsibility I've been given:

Not venturing to ask is to refuse to offer others opportunity to give.

Not venturing to ask is to deny what God seeks to provide through his people.

Not venturing to ask is to deny his family the responsibility to give to his work.

Not venturing to ask allows the evil one to delay the progress of Kingdom mission through intimidation and lies.

What is not gained by asking is lost, or at the very least, delayed because of inaction. Anxiety becomes a wicked ally of cowardice, irresponsibility, and insipid resignation.

So. I'm gradually learning to silence this enemy in many areas of my life. I sincerely want to gain the ability to make the ask and watch what God provides through his generous ones. More importantly, I want finally to know I've taken a deeper responsibility for the work he's given us, and for the resources lying in wait for me to venture forth and receive from his hand.

I've begun to venture out, but please pray for me and hold me accountable. I'll need both for a while.

8 Essential Questions For The Church; What If?

For the last two weeks, I've been riveted to the Republican and Democrat Conventions. Even though I grew up in a very politically vigorous family of staunch Irish Democrats (my grandmother even played a role on the national level in the 40's), I'm not a political animal per se. I'll never tell you who I support or which way I'll vote in an election.

But I have to say I was struck to the degree I've never been with the depth of faith and hope people are resting on the shoulders of the Presidential candidates, especially the Democrats' adoration of Barack Obama. It feels almost akin to worship. I know similar adoration has been given other candidates in other elections over the last 200 years. People place all sorts of hope and trust in charismatic leaders who represent to them a better life, or an inspiring message of freedom or prosperity. The longing of the human heart for a happy and liberated life gets ignited by gifted communicators who know the heart's language and how to move it. When that occurs people feel lifted and loyal. Tears flow, smiles abound, cheers ring forth and happy days look likely to be here again because so and so is going to bring them. It's a potent alchemy.

So I have to say, I felt saddened by how much faith, hope, and even love is being lavished on mere mortals. I've never felt that before. It was palpable. There was a kind of "No!" echoing in my head because I'm convinced, such devotion rightly belongs to Christ alone.Only he is the light of the world, the Way, the Truth and the Life, the only Name under heaven by which men can be saved. Neither Romney nor Obama can fulfill the deepest or most abiding needs of the human heart. Don't get me wrong, the "American Experiment" is a unique light in the world. I've spent the last number of years examining the founding, and the key players involved. Miracles were involved. And through the decades, God has blessed the United States repeatedly, and given it prominent influence around the world. Great leaders in government have done remarkable things benefiting generations. At the same time there have been horrors, atrocities and betrayals.

Jesus, the LORD of Lords is the One Americans should ultimately owe their greatest fealty.

If they only knew.

If they could but peer into the unseen REAL.

But don't really know and they don't see.

*****

Do you know who represents His salvific interests in America and in the world? You and I do. We're called the Church. We, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, bring the Kingdom of God with us whatever we happen to be doing, even if we're unawares. It's our singular mission, not government or business, or unions, or PACs, Social Service organizations, NGO's, the 4th Estate, lobbies, or sports and entertainment figures, political pundits, or Fox News, CNN, or MSNBC, the military or the schools, colleges and universities. The Kingdom mission is the singular dominion and calling of the Church, i.e., anyone who calls on the Name of the LORD, and sees being a Jesus follower as his or her primary identity and calling in their every sphere of influence.

This morning on the porch in Ventnor, I was reading a book by Joel C. Rosenberg called Implosion: Can America Recover From Its Economic and Spiritual Challenges In Time?  I don't know about you, but the "last days" are more and more on my mind and have been for two or three years. I've tended to stay away from reading or speculating about such things, but I'm noticing in a way I've never before. Something's up and Rosenberg, a Jewish Christian, keeps his feet on the ground.

Anyway, I titled my post this way because I want to call your attention to what the author poses to the Church (ppg. 291-2), noting such questions are: "what we should expect and pray for in the American church,". (p.292)

He begins the list with the following passage:

"There are an estimated 340,000 church congregations in the United States. That's an average of 6,800 per state. That's about one congregation for every 900 people. Imagine how rapidly America would change if all of these 340,000 congregations were healthy, strong, brightly shining lighthouses, as God intended.

1.What if they were all faithfully teaching the Word of God book by book, chapter by chapter, verse by verse so the people of God would know the whole counsel of God?

2. What if they were truly helping people repent of their sins, purify their hearts, and heal from their emotional and spiritual wounds?

3.What if they were all actively assisting those recovering people to be able to turn around and care for others who are needy and suffering?

4.What if they were all training their people to share the gospel with their friends and neighbors?

5.What if every pastor was modeling the kind of personal one-on-one and small-group discipleship that Jesus and Paul modeled?

6.What if they were equipping and training young people in the Word of God and their spiritual gifts and helping them plant new congregations in the U.S. and around the world?

7.What if they were truly caring for the poor and the needy in their communities and in countries around the globe, not in lieu of sharing the gospel but as part of fulfilling the great commission?

8. What if they were teaching their congregations to bless Israel and her neighbors in the name of Jesus and to show unconditional love and unwavering support to both the Jewish and Palestinian people?

I recommend you reflect carefully on each question for yourself and for the church where you serve. What is God asking of you? Where do you need to repent? Where are you sleepwalking and need to wake up? How is you church addressing these concerns? Should you raise the issues? 

A Prayer For Us All:

Father of all power, liberty, and truth,
Wake us from where we are slumbering or sleepwalking,
Warm our hearts where we've grown cold and indifferent.
Encourage us where we are anxious and timid.
Dislodge us from where we are stuck.
Summon us from where we are distracted by trifles or overwhelming troubles.
Give us voices to speak the truth with words that enliven and heal;
   that teach and motivate.
Make us people of the Way such that all can yield and want to find it.
Help us follow Jesus in what He is doing all around no matter the cost,
no matter the odds against us, no matter the mockery of the blind and wandering.
Give us tears which liberate and a stubborn resolve that on our watch, you will be seen  and heard in and through us all, your Church.

By Christ, for Christ, in and through Christ.
Amen

My Sense of Urgency for the Mission I Embrace.

I am 63.

Five years ago when I began to detect a faint but persistent enticing to head in another ministry direction, there was no urgency. It was began as a intriguing feeling of "what if?" and interesting possibility - a window cracked open, and while I saw dimly, I also saw glimmers of a new leg of the journey for Tricia and me. An unfamiliar potential came knocking. God sent an invitation.

5 years later, a palpable sense of urgency abides, taking permanent residence in me. I will finish my race running as hard as my 63 year old legs will allow because God has graciously granted this task to me (and others at imagine). I know without a doubt the missional Kingdom way is my spiritual, ecclesiological imperative; the clock is ticking, and I still have far to go before I can set down my bag and rest.

Some of this urgency has to do with being 63. I am not old in heart, but I am aging; old is a learned attitude; aging is an inevitable reality for all living beings. I know I am young in spirit, heart, attitude, and will. It's a different variety of young than for a 33 year-old, for instance. It's largely attitudinal: possibility, potential, opportunity, hope, creativity and exploration still captivate my heart. Urgency keeps it all simmering.

Nevertheless, 63 has conditions through which my sense of urgency compels me: 

• I have urgency because I tire sooner and it lasts longer if I don't take time to rest well.
• I have urgency because I am more aware the clock is ticking than when I was a younger man.
• I have urgency because there is a real sense of the physical/mental diminishing that inexorably overtakes everyone through the aging process, even if I take good care of myself.
• I have urgency because I want to keep in step with the Spirit on my watch and miss nothing he has for me before my last breath - time's a-wastin'.
• I have urgency because people desperately need the freeing truth, hope, and love in this world awash in such creeping darkness and inhumanity.
• I have urgency because I am in the early evening of my life, but the sun will set sooner than I realize perhaps.
• I have urgency because I want to hear my LORD greet me upon seeing him with, "Well done, good and faithful servant." 

Therefore:

Urgency is good; complacency sucks and is cowardice married to sloth.

Urgency with wisdom, grace, and love creates the possibility of true life in others.
 
Urgency fuels resolve and determination.

Urgency makes imperative the everyone's need for salvation, healing and true liberty.

Urgency blends a holy discontent with a need to "do something about this mess."

Urgency lends the perspective that we all only have so much timer to bring the Kingdom on our watch.

Urgency makes 63 seem not a day too soon to make a difference.

URGENCY IS A GIFT!

Are You Still Fascinated With Jesus and His Kingdom Way?

Over the last few months, through a number of ministry activities where God has challenged me to raise the bar in talking about (and trying to live) what it means to follow Jesus in light of what he actually said was the way, a persisting thought occurred to me:

"The people I've read about in the Scriptures and in books written by or about Jesus-followers who had a substantial, faithful Kingdom influence on their world, were all utterly fascinated by Jesus and his Gospel of the Kingdom."

An uncommon passion and remarkable devotion characterized their following him. They were gripped and they persevered in it even if their lives were consistently hard, or they suffered mightily for their devotion. They were captivated, enthralled and so taken by him and his message that they surrendered their hearts and followed hard after him until death. They were broken men and women for sure, but they lived from a single-minded fire in their bellies.

Conversely, I thought how throngs of us in churches all over America, if we honestly and courageously reflected, would realize we live from accommodated, divided, tepid hearts in matters of authentic discipleship. We're deeply embedded in the American Dream (or our cherished version of it) which defines the good life as one of pursuing our preference for comfort, security and fulfilled aspirations. As Americans, we instinctively place a high value on the freedom to pursue what promises to make us fulfilled and content - what gives us personal meaning. In that sense, we are substantially-devoted followers of the American Promise of individual "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

But over the last few months, I've talked with a number Christian people completely enmeshed in lives becoming increasingly unmanageable. As a result, they've sunk into a spiritual malaise much like sleep-walking. The demands of actually following Jesus as he speaks of it in the Gospels appear impossible given the frazzled lifestyles most of us accept without "counting the cost" of so doing. Truth be told, many of us are enslaved to debt, fracturing busyness, and the strain to maintain our particular status quo, i.e., "It is what it is."

I also realize that the lukewarm followership many live is not what Jesus modeled and summoned them to, perhaps not even what they "signed up for." The problem remains they're so entangled in the spiritually unexamined way of life they accommodate and its overwhelming consequences, they've come to a kind of  spiritual stasis, and have gradually sunk into the religious duty of mostly just showing up at church on Sunday. I know that's not what initially pulled them to Jesus, but it's now what they've settled for and worse, come to expect.

So I've done a little thinking about what is this fascination with Jesus, and subsequently adopting his way. Here's what I've come up with so far:

1. Jesus fascination is a work of God offered to all his people, but we need to persistently desire and long for it.
2. It grows from the accumulated benefits of pursuing intimacy with Jesus through the spiritual disciplines, especially listening prayer, study of the Scriptures (particularly the Gospels), and reflective examination of how a person is actually living.
3. Jesus fascination is best modeled and passed on by individuals in a consistent "life on life" relationship.
4. It is also nurtured in a community of believers who are jointly habitually working on following Jesus, and living his way of life guided by his subversively redemptive values.
5. A person fascinated with Jesus will "be in the world, but not of the world"; his or her fascination gradually will not be surrendered to the prevailing worldly or surrounding cultural fascinations and loyalties.
6. Jesus fascination will result in a man or woman willingly embracing what matters most to him, and obediently conforming all to his values and way of life, whether it be through career, raising a family, recreation, use of money, time or talent, etc.
7. Jesus fascination ultimately will lead to a habit of joy, a transcending humility, a freeing life of love, stubborn peace, and surprising Kingdom transformations.

I realize fascination with Jesus is not a feeling or a project or the domain of the spiritually elite. It's a gift of grace to a heart which longs for authenticity, depth and making a difference through service in the Kingdom. Fascination is not just admiring Jesus from the pew, focusing mostly on sin management as the best we can do, helping the pastor if he asks every once in a while. Nor is it listening your favorite Christian music and reading your favorite Christian authors. It's not even taking that once-in-a lifetime mission's trip or singing in the choir.

It's more a matter of the transformed, rejuvenated heart and will. Paul summed it well in 12:1-2 of his letter to the Church in Rome when he said because of the extraordinary mercies of God, our reasonable (intelligent) response is to present ourselves to God as "living sacrifices" utterly surrendered to his purposes and glory. Paul also warns us, therefore, not to be conformed outwardly to what the world (in rebellion from God) continually tries to entice us to prize, submit to, and live. Because we are literally new creations in Christ we should not submit. Rather, Paul says we are to change our thinking so that what is presented to us by the world, is put it to the test of God's standards, and thus we can apprehend what is valuable and pleasing to him. Therefore, fascination is a 24/7 response of worship, i.e., surrendering all as a fascinated living sacrifice, fully engaged and fully devoted.

If you can't say this about yourself, don't settle for "Oh, well." Complacency stinks. Go talk to someone you admire and ask for help. In fact, ask God to begin clearing the jam-packed decks of your life so you can find a mentor and become trained to follow Jesus with all you've got. When everything's said and done, it doesn't matter nearly as much as you think about how important you are to the business right now, or what your neighbors will say if the lawn isn't mowed every Saturday, or your kids need to be on every sports team known to man because, for sure, they'll be complete failures in life if they aren't. (You know I'm poking a little fun, right?)

The point is Jesus is summoning you to pick up your cross and get on with it. Did I mention He's the Lord of all and he picked you to follow him from a fascinated and courageous heart?

At the same time, some of you, I know, are tired and discouraged. You are living under great stress and pressure. The problems you face seem infinitely more than there are solutions. Maybe sin has got you ground down and your life is hidden or out of control. Perhaps you've been hurt by people in the church and question if any of this is real at all. Maybe church and Christianity just seem boring and pointless. Even so, the reality is, because it's the living God we're referring to, whatever has dulled your heart can be revived by him. So earnestly pray for fascination, and go find someone who is fascinated by and following hard after him. A simple conversation can open God's fascinating future for you. Try it.

How Much Does God Really Have of Me...or You?

"God has all of me there is to have." William Carey

"The research has consistently shown over the past two decades that the lives of born-again Christians are indistinguishable from those of people who do not claim Jesus Christ as their savior." George Barna 

" In other words, most Christians have a relationship with God that could be described as "active but stalled" - a connection that has plateaued in its passion and influence, despite the continued commitment of time and energy to religious activity." George Barna

A few weeks ago, Jim LaMontagne gave a talk at our Sunday gathering in his Beyond Us: How God Moves Us Beyond Ourselves series. Talking about Abraham, he included a response William Carey gave to a question about his success as a missionary. As noted above, Carey said God had all of him; he was completely dedicated to the ways of God and redemptive mission of God - 100% commitment.

It got me thinking about what percentage God has of me, of my heart and will? While a number doesn't necessarily reveal much, and will inevitably be a subjective ranking at best (I'll skew it to a higher number most likely), it can be a helpful glimpse, especially as an aid to honest self-assessing, where I really am.

In my heart of hearts, I want it to be 100%, especially since I've been in Northampton. It makes little sense to me to be less committed. I don't like the spiritual dissipation of chasing after the wind blowing from the world's useless greeds and lusts. After all, what higher aspiration in this world could a person have than being a "fully-devoted follower of Jesus Christ?" The privilege of serving the King of kings ranks as chief in my estimation. At the same time, I've experienced lukewarmness and distracted indifference over the years. In my spiritual growing, I've been detained by other activities which sparkled but turned out to be fool's gold. As Barna notes, I've been "active, but stalled," "plateaued" on vast mesas of wandering or going after a brass ring that ends up to be tin foil.

As I think about it, God having all of me means his ways and his Kingdom mission are my pearl of great price. Therefore, being a husband, father, grandfather, spiritual formation catalyst, drummer, and friend all draw a bead on an overriding Purpose. My time, talent, money, stuff, hopes, dreams, and rights becomes means to achieve the End to which I've been summoned. There is no compartmentalizing "sacred and secular." I don't go to church; I am the church (you know what I mean). Being a Jesus-follower is a full-time gig with no time off or retirement as long as I'm on this side of Paradise.

I've been "working out my salvation" for almost four decades. It's not been pretty, but God has much more of me now than he did when I crossed over into the Kingdom  in 1972. I have a passion to see Christ glorified in this world and to see people snatched from the jaws of desolation in this world and the next. I love Jesus and have come to believe he actually loves the quixotic likes of me. There is so much evidence. 

So while I'm not completely confident he has all of me just yet, I can say I want him to. I can also say I hope I can get there while I'm still on this "terrestrial ball." Yeah, I know I may not be able to recognize it even if he's grants me 100% status, but he has my full permission to get me there.

The question is what about you dear reader? Can you say with confidence, "God has all of me there is to have?" If no, what do you still withhold from him? Why? With the Holy Spirit guiding you, take an inventory of your heart's true allegiances. Where are you compromised because of besetting or past, unconfessed sin or still holding onto the word's pleasures, attainments, privileges and distractions? Where does fear keep you doggedly pursuing safety and security? Where has disappointment and setback lead to detachment and indifference.? Where are you just tired and have given up? Worse yet, where are you kidding yourself thinking that your current "religious" commitment is just fine?

What if God actually had all there is of you to have? What would it look like? What would you need to change, and today for that to happen? How would your life be different?

Does it matter to you? It should.

Ask Jesus to do whatever it takes to get you there, and I really mean whatever it takes. As you read that sentence, notice if there was resistance or detachment, subtle or otherwise. Ask God to identify it right now. It's indicates where you really are in following Jesus and what really stands in the way of full surrender and inviting him to make you 100%.

The Hole in Our Gospel: Inching Toward a Life of Sacrificial Love.

"There is much at stake. The world we live in is under siege - three billion are desperately poor, one billion hungry, millions are trafficked in human slavery, ten million children die needlessly each year, wars and conflicts are wreaking havoc, pandemic diseases are spreading, ethnic hatred is flaming, and terrorism is growing. Most of our brothers and sisters in Christ in the developing world live in grinding poverty. And in the midst of this stands the Church of Jesus Christ in America, with resources, knowledge, and tools unequaled in the history of Christendom. I believe we stand on the brink of a defining moment. We have a choice to make.

When historians look back in one hundred years, what will they write about this nation of 340,000 churches? What will they say of the Church's response to the great challenges of our time - AIDS, poverty, hunger, terrorism, war? Will they say that these authentic Christians rose up courageously and responded to the tide of human suffering, that they rushed to the front lines to comfort the afflicted and douse the flames of hatred?

Or will they look back and see a Church too comfortable, insulated from the pain of the rest of the world , empty of compassion, and devoid of deeds? Will they write about a people who stood by and watched while a hundred million died of AIDS and 50 million children were orphaned, of Christians who live in luxury and self-indulgence while millions died of food and water? Will schoolchildren read in disgust about a Church that had the wealth to build great sanctuaries but lacked the will to build schools, hospitals, and clinics? In short, will we be remembered as a the Church with a gaping hole in the Gospel." (p. 238)

 "The total income of American churchgoers is $5.2 trillion . . . it would take just a little over 1 percent of the income of American Christians to the lift the poorest one billion people in the world out of extreme poverty . . . American Christians, who make up about 5 percent of the Church worldwide, control about half the global wealth." (p.216)

 
I'm just about finished with Richard Stearns' (CEO of World Vision) book The Hole in Our Gospel. I  highlighted portions of the excerpts because they capture for me the seeming blindness of the American Church to the widespread pain and suffering of people's all over the world who for a wildly complex tangle of reasons don't have their basic needs met, and are chronic victims of war, disease, entrenched poverty and corruption. Adding insult to injury,  the American Church is the wealthiest in the history of the world, meaning we have the collective resources to alleviate much of the world's suffering. Another sad reality is we use most of it first for our own concerns. Ugh!

If Stearns is right, this sad state of affairs is a travesty and should "haunt" us all with the glaring need to pick up our crosses and change our lives to more "enflesh" the abundant generosity and love of God for the "least of these," his brethren. Take a moment to read the following passages in Isaiah and Matthew to refresh your memory of how serious God is about the issue: Is. 58:1-12; Matthew 25:31-46.

Reading the book falls at a time when God is challenging me consistently to a more earnest following of Jesus, one in which much of my time, talent, and resources are spent helping alleviate suffering and providing the ways and means for people to fight their way back into a life full of real living as God defines it. My heart is being pricked often these days to further leave my well-kept safety nets and comfort zones, the old paths of sheltered Christianity I spent decades diligently practicing.

All he's asking me to do is live authentically as his follower not merely as a believer. I can believe in him and still withhold my heart enough leaving ample room to pursue the comforts, pleasures, privileges, and powers of the world. I can be dedicated to going to services, giving, reading a gazillion Christian books, doing hours of Bible study, listening to Christian music, attending Christian conferences, serving on committees, leading retreats, preaching and teaching, playing on the Worship Team, and even planting a church, but if don't love Jesus enough to surrender all of my life to follow him sacrificially as my prime directive, I'm missing much of what he taught about truly being his disciple.

In short, I end up being a fan with benefits, a perpetual volunteer, a member of the booster club, but not a player in the game where blood, sweat, and tears requires my all.

The reality is, he's moving on me from more than one direction these days. First, he's deepening the urgency and vehemence of my prayer life. It's not that I'm praying for longer time, it's more that when I pray there is an earnest longing for the Kingdom to come to people through me and imagine. I want more of him, more faith, courage, and more resources to make a difference in Northampton and other parts of the world. I strain into God with passion, calling on him to open ways where there appear to be no ways. I want to see the power of the Kingdom manifested to the degree lives really are changed, especially for the marginalized, voiceless and oppressed.

I want him to punch a hole in the fabric of darkness enshrouding parts of this broken world so the light of love, peace, healing and truth can prevail.

He's also creating in me a persisting desire to give away what I don't need or use. I'm not real good at this yet because it tales a substantial mental shift, but I continue to be taken back my how many duplicates I have of things. Drawers and closets are crammed. The phrase I use is being materially bloated.We've moved 3 times in the last 2 3/4 years, tag-selling and giving away a substantial amount of stuff with each move. With each move we downsized our living quarters. We can give still more and have all we need to live. When I think of people all over the world who have just the clothes on their backs, have to walk miles more than once a day to get their daily water, or live in huts with dirt floors, eking out a bare existence, keeping stuff I don't need or use is a start at radical re-orientation.

I think radical re-orientation is a must for following hard after Jesus.

Of late as well, God is bringing situations and people into our lives far different from what we've encountered frequently before. We've been in ministry a long time. We've experienced people in deep trouble with serious needs. In Northampton, however, the level of brokenness seems more complex: long-term addiction, generational poverty, mental illness, chronic problems with the law, and a pervasive counter-culture ethos all combine to make it tough to connect with the Gospel. God is bringing them to our door and we have opportunities to show his love asking nothing in return.

It feels to me as if God is offering imagine/Northampton the opportunity to head into the heart of what it means to deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow him. (Luke 9:24-6). the implication of that Scriptures and others in the New Testament have always scared me, because I want to control the degree of sacrifice I want to make. I like the freedom to do what I want to do, when and how. These it feels God is giving me grace to move toward him in this regard. It's if he's bringing me opportunities which blow me out of my comfort zones, and he says, "Will you do this for me?" Accompanying the question is "And do it now, not hesitate or balk?"

I'm learning to say "yes" and act then and there. As I do, he makes it happen. He blesses my obeying and stepping out by letting me give something which leaves a redemptive mark on someone. Jesus is laying groundwork and testing my resolve. He's teaching me a new level of trust and a willingness to sacrifice my introverted affection for spiritual monkdom. He wants me out there connecting and doing. He wants me where he is every day.

I can feel a shift both in me and our work in Northampton. It's subtle like a fleeting hint of things to come, but it's unmistakably there. While nothing looks much different outwardly something substantial has loosened or opened - a crack in the door, a tear in the fabric. I feel anticipation different from anything else since I moved here.

At the end of Stearns' book he includes a Franciscan benediction. He encourages is readers to pray and reflect on it, particularly regarding the hope it embodies. I encourage you to do the same:

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

 May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all they cherish. so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator, Jesus Christ the incarnate Word Who is our Brother and Savior, and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide, be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore. Amen.

When Mental Toughness Requires An Unexpected Change of Course.

"Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It's a state of mind-you could call it character in action." Vince Lombardi

³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5 ESV

I've been fighting a funk the last 10 days of so. It's not a P-Funk kinda funk that causes your booty to shake; it's a funk that smothers your heart and pulls your thoughts into a thick, enervating fog. Your heart grows tired and your mind feels like the batteries need to be replaced so the light can come back on. It's stultifying to say the least.

My afflicting funk stems from the persisting and deepening financial drought we are settling into. It's feels like a fog which won't lift; it blankets our days and laces fear in our sleep. A palpable heaviness pervades it. We both talk of existential (although we don't use the word), tiredness. I know the weariness is from growing stress. Those of you who've been there know unpayed bills tend to stare at you with a withering gaze. It's no fun.

The long and the short of it is I'm just not making enough money to hold up my end of the bargain with supporting our household. imagine/Northampton is so small it can't carry my weight nor am I counseling
anywhere near enough to support  my salary.

In the midst of the work malaise I'm beginning to think God is signaling a change in my direction. It began with reading missional church guys talking about the bi-vocational pastor being the wave of the future. Much of what they write makes good sense to me. Is God calling me to this? What would be so bad about that?

As I said, my counseling and spiritual direction work has virtually dried up with just a handful of clients remaining. Tricia's is growing. The decline has been trending this way since the early summer of this year. Something has changed. I can feel it spiritually and the numbers show it. There looks no end in sight and I'm running out of time to turn things around.
What does this have to do with mental toughness?

Well, I think in my case, mental toughness, is being able to keep the mission I was called to in Northampton in firm view with no wavering while seeing the change I need to make in terms of remaining full-time paid staff as falling forward. In fact, it turns out to be part of God's taking me deeper into the mission in a way I never would have found on my own. In the quote above, Vince Lombardi combined sacrifice and self-denial with a "perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give up" I doubt I'll ever be capable of a perfectly disciplined will," this side of heaven, but I get the refusing-to-give-up character part because I'm doing that so far. I'm not quitting imagine until God tells me to.

 The Apostle Paul tells me that mental toughness has to do with enduring suffering and hardship so that godly character qualities take root in me, and hope can keep me stayed on following Christ while working to open the Kingdom to folks - hope infused with God's love.

So God can:
test my mettle,
put me in over my head,
take me to the edge of my faith,
remove all my safety nets,
and even change where I work,

to strengthen my character, making it tough enough to carry the weight of my task in imagine /Northampton's mission.

Mental toughness can also be about staying the course when God expands the scope of the mission he has given without consulting with me (as if he should!). For instance, rather than having me hold down the fort every day at the imagine/Northampton offices, or being the "Chief Communications Officer," a role I've played by temperament and default since we got up here, he gives me a job elsewhere and maybe it doesn't look like ministry at all on the surface, or maybe its in a form I didn't recognize before and would've never headed toward on my own. Just because my work environment changes doesn't mean the mission has.

More simply, mental toughness also means buckling down and helping dig us out of our financial hole even if my imagine/Northampton role diminishes considerably or has to end. I made a prior promise to Tricia to care of her that is of equal or greater worth. Integrity as a Jesus-follower includes meeting my financial obligations and doing what I have to even if it's painful. It's big-boy stuff.

Mental toughness never lets go of the cause or mission, or the non-negotiable values animating any effort of worth. The goal or cause is so compelling a person will pay the cost, fight through the pain, make the sacrifice, overcome the discouragement and hang tough when all appears in shambles. Mental toughness is the domain of those willing to go down with the ship if the ship must go down. I believe it's a virtue which ennobles ordinary people captivated by conviction.

Truth be told, it's taken me a awhile to get to the place of altering my short course to sustain the long haul. There've been "giants in the land," and I've hesitated to adjust my course far too long.  Adjusting I'll be in the days ahead. Pray for me if you think about it. I'll be heading out as a "stranger in a strange land." At least it feels that way at the outset.

Why I Don't Call Myself a Christian Anymore.

 "We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God's purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself."

"What is my vision of God's purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me."

"God's training is for now, not later . . . We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself. "

                                        

      Excerpted from Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (July 28th).



As many of you know, Tricia and I have been up in western Massachusetts since the summer of 2008. We followed Jesus and came to help plant imagine/Northampton, the creative missional church forming in our hearts and minds beginning in early 2007. We were all filled with dreams and ideas of what imagine/Northampton was supposed to become. We talked of it for hours upon hours. We prayed and studied. It took shape in us.

The day finally came when we moved. There were all sorts of unforeseen problems, setbacks and difficulties, but we were here and gradually became a part of the life of this city.

Over the course of the two years here, we weathered all manner the trials and tribulations, some expected and some not. In the midst of it all a subtle change took place. I stopped referring to myself as a Christian and not because people were antagonistic to me because I am one. The word gradually just felt too passive. I saw it similar to calling myself American, Irish, or a McDermott. It described something about me, but didn't capture the dynamic nature of actually following Christ, a dynamism I valued and wanted to characterize my life. A person can be baptized into Christianity and never follow Christ. I realized I wanted my primary identity to be that of a man actually following Christ in the redemptive work he's currently doing in my neck of the woods. Many of the other terms used to identify me are the roles and interests though which I should follow him. Everything I am and do is given to him for his use as his follower. The term Christian was just too pale for what he wants from me which is to step over the line, follow him and never look back.

So I've taken to using the term Jesus-follower. Sometimes I use Christ-follower - nothing wrong with that. However, I prefer Jesus-follower because it captures his becoming human, and I can identify with that: he became one of us that we might become like him. At the same time, I know his being Christ (the Messiah) is a source of great joy and hope to me. It's just that Jesus-follower feels the most intimate term, so I use it more.

With that in mind, I've also begun to come to grips with a simpler, but more true to the heart of God understanding of my following Jesus as a spiritual formation catalyst under imagine/Northampton. I see it as less about the mechanics of planting and growing a church, and more about opening people to the love of God through Jesus and his call on them to truly love others. I'm to obey God in this regardless of whether or not imagine/Northampton sticks. Therefore, the mission is less about growing an organization, and more about helping form an exuberantly loving community of viral Jesus-followers. It has nothing to do with hip programs or innovative artistic expression, and everything to do with being a faithful redemptive subversive in the Kingdom mission God is leading . . . one person at a time. Church for me is not a thing, event or a place, but a salvific stealth movement of unexpected healing, freeing and being included in the most miraculous revolution in the universe.

So I'm seeing I am to follow him and be of use as he invites people to trust and experience his healing love. Then, by his grace and through the leading of his Spirit, I am to help them open to his love so they can learn to love others who have no idea such love exists. It's that simple, I think. Adding to the imagine/Northampton membership rolls is not my prime directive. That's God's prerogative. Following Jesus wholeheartedly and loving what he loves is.

So I'm understanding being a Jesus-follower these days to mean continuing to find what it is to love God with all my heart, and soul, and mind, and strength (holding nothing back i.e., learning to surrender fully), and from the wellspring of his gracious, abundant response, give my days in Northampton to loving others as I would want to be loved. My key question every day has to be: Am I following Jesus today or am I wandering in the jangling confusion of my desires, wants and preferences thus giving myself to "much ado about nothing?" I've been quite good at the latter!

Oswald Chambers in the quote above reminds us that obeying him is the essence of being a Jesus-follower. Listening to his commands and instructions through the Spirit and then going (or sometimes waiting) fulfills his purpose in me, and maybe his purpose through me. I want to learn such obedience and the freedom attendant to it. I want to trust God to such a depth that outcomes do not determine how passionate I will be for obeying him. In other words, if I never see any fruit from my labors here, it will not seem a failure to me because I obeyed, stayed the course and did what was asked of me . . . I followed with all I had.

What about you?
















 

Geezers and the Wings of Eagles.

Been thinking much about resilience (the ability to rebound, spring back, recover) these days.

Remember, I am an old man planting a church (imagine/Northampton). As some of you know, I have taken fondly to referring to myself as a geezer, a slang term for someone who is not only ambling toward decrepitude, but also is a bit of an odd character. I have noticed some oddness (although not full-bore eccentricity just yet), and I like it, actually. Also, I think the term is used most aptly of men. I think 60 is the threshold to the Land the Geezerdom. I know I passed through the gates a few miles back.

Anyway . . .

I find my "geezerliness," especially in the light of the 60 (almost 61 in April), years I have accumulated, plays a frequent role in launching imagine. As I face the relentless and sometimes bewildering challenges of  developing this mission in Northampton, I experience the troubling presence of weakness, and inability:

1. I am physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually tired more quickly; they lingers longer than when I was a young, even middle-aged man. Recovering takes more time (and humbling patience, grrrr).

2. My ADD seems more prevalent in that it is both harder to not wander in distraction and stay focused on stuff needing disciplined effort. A baffling fog can settle in from encountering too many options and choices. Rebounding firmly into order is less easy to do.

3. Because there are so many details to put in place and stay on top of most of the time, I struggle more with keeping them organized from day to day. Springing back from chaos becomes just harder to do.

4. As I have rewritten previously, the spiritual warfare here is unrelenting. Coming in forms of resistance, obstruction (like swimming in peanut butter), and the constant invitation to discouragement, it can grind down a geezer. Rebounding from persisting adversity is not always simple at any age, much less at 60.

5. Just coming to terms with the reality and vicissitudes of aging itself, never mind launching a church in the process, can be daunting because mortality has a greater presence.

In the face of all this,however, I realize resilience is both an act of the will, and a gift of grace, igniting and sustaining resilience. I have to choose the way of resilience every day, but choosing only becomes efficacious as God grants the ability as well. Grace makes a way and points to the means.

Still, I will have to be resilient in the face of my diminishment speeding up inexorably over the days. I run smack dab into the human condition and must work within its bounds. No getting around it. Truth be told, God makes me able beyond my ability to do this . . . if I surrender and pay attention to the whisperings of his help. I live every day in the reality that I am an old man planting a church, but in this last 220 my life's journey. God has summoned me to do this now in my sixth decade.

So I am a geezer learning a different quality of resilience. I need more of God's help in it, because I am diminishing more noticeably than in my young years. Bouncing back has become more of a spiritual enterprise. Sure, I need physical rest for mind and body, Sabbath, and oases of quiet to take my hands off the work. But what I need more are spiritual oases of unhurried prayer, silent reflection, deep thinking and sitting in the Scripture. It is in those places that I am bouyed on wings of eagles.

I want to make that flight more often.

Following Jesus the Liberator Is Our Primary Identity.

Last Sunday I was set to give the message for imagine/Northampton's Very First Christmas Celebration. But due to the threat of the heavy snow we were supposed to get (which turned out to be only a dusting even though the radar showed it snowing over Northampton for 24 hours), we canceled Sunday's celebration on Saturday. Oh well.

Anyway, I thought I would share briefly what I was going to say.

Some background, first (I know this is not a complete sentence, by the way). Over the last
several months due to my reading of Ken Bailey, N.T. Wright, and John Howard Yoder, as well as Shane Claiborne and Jim Wallis earlier, I am being changed in how I view what Jesus came to do and how the Kingdom of God is to operate in my life and the lives of others. Almost 100% of my ministry before coming to Northampton was to Christians, teaching them to hear God and helping them heal. It was about liberation, but the focus was on people who already acknowledge Christ. All of it good stuff.

My change has come in two forms.

First, I realize increasingly Christ's liberating revolution was as much about overthrowing and neutralizing the universal Powers (Satanic rebellion, sin-infected cultural institutions, social conventions and traditions) that crush people, lull them into trifles, or destroy their lives as much as it is about my personal salvation as a sinner in need of the liberation of the cross. I have zero doubts I need Jesus's substitutionary atoning for me. But it isn't merely about my personal need as desperate as that is. I am just one tiny part of an astounding Creation-freeing Story, the likes of which is beyond our imagining in its scope and import.

So the collective witness and work of Christians demonstrates that the stranglehold of the Powers can be defused without violence or anarchic rebellion. We can live differently and demonstrate a freedom from oppression no matter how enticing. Our Holy Spirit infused values can transform what the Powers commandeered:

Love undermines fear.

Sacrificial service subverts pride.

Grace deflates hatred.

Generosity shames selfishness.

Jesus's revolution seeded at his birth, created at the cross, launched at the Resurrection and spread at Pentecost irrevocably severed the root of "the sickness unto death" in the universe. It is finished at the heart. It is the Story of all stories without which would make all of life "sound and fury; the tale told by a fool, signifying nothing." Jesus liberated the universe and his revolution is well underway.

Secondly, the Church, you and me, has been given the divine mandate to spread this subversive liberation. We are to head out all the time and work patiently to make disciples. We are to love and serve the world, witnessing to the transforming power of Jesus to free the captive and overturn the Powers. By our ordinary and simple lives we gain a foothold and establish life in midst of death.

Your primary (first order) identity as a Jesus-follower is that of a liberator and revolutionary. What? I know that might sound over-blown, but is it? What other primary identity could possibly trump it for the Christian: being an American or other nationality, your profession, the local church you go to, who you voted for in the national election, your ethnicity, financial or social status, what town or neighborhood you live in, or whether you are a Yankees or Red Sox fan? Jesus makes it clear in Matthew 25:31-40 that our primary identity centers on incarnating the his life-giving love to the least of our brethren. and anyone else he puts in our path. We are to spend the rest of our days so doing. We are servants (actually bond-servants, if you will). Nothing we do or can do is more important. Matters of eternity command our closest attention and our deepest daily loyalty, do they not?

Jesus liberated and sanctioned us to go about every last one of our days bringing the kingdom into the lives of people we meet, care for, work with and live around. Each day affords us the opportunity to unlock someone with a word, gesture or act of service that opens them just a little to the Gospel. How we do so does not have to be spectacular or clever. It will be merely the expression of a person who has been undone by the loving liberation of Jesus, and desires the same for everyone else who will listen and see.

Do you see yourself this way? Are you paying attention? Are you holding back? Is it your primary identity truth be told?

I have a long way to go in being really useful to his revolution, but I want to be.

I ask him to sovereignly make it so. I am more of a mess than I like to admit or show publicly, but history testifies he uses messes like me way beyond what they could have imagined.

May what he started in me years ago in Boston be completed such that his revolution is more and more my way of living and that of the McDermott household.

When a Simple Conversation Freshens the Journey.

Yesterday I had a phone conversation with a friend and someone I have had the privilege of being a Spiritual Director to over the years. I have watched her grow in depth of faith, and love for Jesus and his Kingdom. She has come far in her journey with him.

The phone call was one of those check-in-with-one-another varieties. In the course of so doing our friend began to talk about how what she was doing was "wrecking her" with regard to the way she has been living the Christian life. Jesus is "radicalizing" her understanding of what it means to follow him wholeheartedly She related her life will never be the same. She knows she can't go back to the old ways of being Christian. This awareness both scares and inspires her. Indeed.

In the course of the conversation she also related how what we are doing in Northampton through imagine has been pulling at her of late. She has followed our journey here since its inception and now God seems to be whispering to her about more than following from afar. It is still a whisper to be sure, but clearly something is up.

After our exchange, I noticed I was pleasantly bouyed and refreshed for a bit. The day had been what I referred to on Twitter as "crazy-quilt" with all sorts of interruptions from every which way, and no real sense of momentum materializing. I was a little unnerved at times. And frustrated.

What I realized when I thought about it was how refreshed and motivated I become when talking about imagine/Northampton with someone who is getting it: the dream, the vision, the struggle and challenge of trying to plant it in this tough town. When I get to do so the enterprise feels real and substantial. When others respond with interest more than "Wow! That's cool," I get excited because perhaps they are going to get into the fray, and help shoulder forward the mission. Now we're getting somewhere.

I am also heartened when I see God percolating in them the same desire he percolated in me and Tricia, Jim, Karin, Matt and Karen back in Simsbury a few years ago. He is at work behind the scenes birthing this mission. Such awareness braces me.

So thank you, Father, and thank you, Ms. Smith, for the conversation.

May it be a piece of the gloriously redemptive Kingdom of God taking deeper hold in us, and in Northampton, Massachusetts!

Maranatha for real!

There Are Times When the Kingdom Just Needs to Kick Your Butt.

I have been reading Ken Bailey's Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes. I am slowly being changed by the book. Bailey does a bang-up job giving the reader a birds-eye view of the religious and political culture in which Jesus inaugurated his Father's redemptive Kingdom.

Most impacting is how his examination of the ministry of Jesus has opened me afresh to the confrontive nature of his brief 3 years of ministry, and the how the Kingdom is designed actually to operate in the world. Jesus and the Kingdom are far more gritty and demanding than I think many churches teach.

Redemption is not nice or polite. It is a flesh and blood confrontation of life against death in all its insidious manifestations. It is not pretty, or politically correct. It fiercely crosses boundaries, exposes sacred cows and vigorously upends dead traditions. It flies in the face of prejudices and undermines cherished conventions that insulate people from getting into the mess of making things right in people's lives.

And it confronts leaders who help people stay in soul-smothering safety and security.

So, I'm having my butt kicked by the Jesus I am seeing in the book. It has been revealing that the cross he fitted for me to carry often stays in the closet, out of sight and less threatening. Bonhoeffer's dictum that Jesus and the cross bid "a man (and woman), to come and die has never translated into radical steadfastness in my life. For me, it have been more like, " I'll really pick it up one of these days. And I'll know where to find it."

I hedge. I procrastinate.

I distract. I get fascinated with trifles.

I hesitate and hide: "Tomorrow, Lord . . . no, really, tomorrow. Yup."

Through Bailey's keen cultural examination of the life and words of Jesus I am continually exposed and confronted with how much fear and wanting to be likable infect me. I'm a proud son of a gun. But sadly, I am of little use to God if I will not be graciously (not politely) bold and assertive in confronting the death and blindness enslaving so many in Northampton and in the world. Merely going about and being nice just sucks. Ugh!

You see there is an "in your face" urgency to the ministry of Jesus, Peter and Paul. What crushed/stole life from the poor, defenseless, voiceless and powerless required truth-telling which offended the Roman occupying Empire, and religious establishment of the Pharisees and Sanhedrin. It wasn't about being obnoxious or rude. It was not full of fleshly pride or lust for dominance. It was about the Kingdom truth that looses chains and leads people toward forgiveness and freedom. It was about confronting the powers that be and throwing them down. The virile, loving truth they all lived subverted and overturned the dominion of death, and began the Reign of God through the Church . . . then and now.

Last night, I caught the last half hour of CNN's special Homegrown Terror. While deeply troubling on a number of levels, I was struck by the depth of dedication - maniacal and evil though it is - of the young men (some only teenagers), willing to give everything for their beliefs: single-minded dedication, even fanaticism. They follow their leaders as if these men are speaking the very words of God. They know the teachings under which they have been indoctrinated, and are completely about the business of violently changing the world according to them.

Their misguided example summoned me to think: "Shouldn't the Kingdom of God and the example and teaching of Jesus compel me(us) to the same degree of loyalty?" Isn't the urgency of the hour worth me speaking boldly with people about the truth no matter? Shouldn't my love be uncompromising and changing the world on my heart all the time? Shouldn't fearless serving be what I spend most my days doing, especially toward people far from the Kingdom, even antagonistic to it? Shouldn't I be willing to suffer whenever asked by my Lord for this most precious Treasure?

YES!

It is the normal, biblical Christian life. Anything less is counterfeit ersatz, and pointless no matter how good it feels or important it appears. Jesus-followers are to be about just this: constantly following Jesus, incarnating his values and example as he continues his redemptive work through you and me in our neighborhoods, workplaces, homes, towns, and cities.

I more and more want it to be so in me, and in the life of imagine/Northampton. Anything less is bilge-water compromise in my opinion.

So if you think about it when you finish this, pray for yourself and then pray that I would begin today to bold in Northampton. No compromise; only following.

Jesus give me the grace to should my cross with joy and affection. Let my life be characterized by love for you so strong that the cost does not matter. Grace me with single-hearted devotion to you, and for your Kingdom. Fill me with the joy set before me that I might endure whatever lies ahead in your service. Let people see you in me because I am emptied of me. Give a boldness that changes lives, gives sight to the blind, frees the captives and proclaims the Year of the Lord's favor in Northampton.

I have no idea how many days I have left, but make them be the most redemptively fruitful they have ever been.

Make it so as you desire.

Soli Deo Gloria!

And, oh, yeah . . . Maranatha!

When Discouragement Comes Calling

Someone very recently said to me that if I am feeling discouraged almost daily it is a true sign I am a church planter. His words, coming from someone who successfully planted one, were a great encouragement to me. I felt less alarmed and guilty about feeling discouraged in the often crazy-quilt experience of this work-the ups and down can come fast and furious more often than I like.

I realized that a big part my struggle with discouragement comes from expectations I place on myself and what I think others are placing on me, however innocently. When they ask with good intentions, "So how is the church going?" After I sheepishly tell them where we are in the mission, what I hear in my head is, "Really, that's all the further along you are? Um, what's wrong with you? Maybe you shouldn't even be doing this? In fact, maybe this was a fool's errand in the first place. What were you thinking . . . someone like you?" I want to slink into a hole and put out a sign saying "I am so sorry-really I am." Crazy, I know, but discouragement shows up quickly to reinforce the questions, and if I listen to what I am feeling at that moment, I get bushwhacked.

A part of me, truth be told, when I hear the progress and fruit of other planters wonders why we are not making "better" progress. I know we are under-resourced which creates a constant uphill battle. I realize we are learning how to do this as we go. It is true we are working in a tough place where obstacles are formidable. There are tangible reasons to work through. The problem is discouragement often blows past those reasons and wants to lure us into hopelessness. If it can gain a strong foothold we are effectively neutralized and rendered impotent for the task.

I have to admit, sometimes I get near the threshhold of hopelessness. I can see its dark ruins staining the distance and get a whiff of the death it represents. Not good.

But not the end of the story either.

Eventually, the Holy Spirit leans in and reminds me I am being fitted for a depth of trust and faith I have never experienced. I have been fitted similarly for the ministries God has invited us to shoulder, but not anywhere near this level. There is a very real "Will you believe and trust anyway even if things get bleak or the struggle never abates? Will you?" pervading each day in Northampton. God offers steel-jawed tenacity in this struggle, big-league faith and perseverance. Oddly enough, discouragement is necessary to achieve this degree of faithfulness. I don't like that to be honest, but I know it's necessary, even desirable (even if we fail ultimately in launching imagine/Northampton in the process, by the way).

I know discouragement will continue to come from time to time. It may even knock me off my feet once or twice. No matter, I want to know the depth of faith and trust God beckons me toward. Right now trying to launch imagine/Northampton is his vehicle for creating it in me. I am going to lose some days and I am going to break through into new territory some days. My hope is that imagine/Northampton will be planted and I will lay hold ofwhat God has been working to teach me.

The right perspective in this struggle I suspect is that in all of it, God is fitting me for the "weight of glory." The endgame defines and focuses my struggle toward eternity.

I like that.

When the Speed Forward Saps the Longing.

I will never forget when I was a young man playing drums in one the first, if not the first touring Christian jazz group, the frustration I felt because the longing I had to see the group attain a larger audience nationally never materialized. My longing was palpable, even physical. It was persistent and strong. It screamed at me sometimes. Other times it just moaned.

Every day when we were off the road, and there were many toward the end, I would wait for news of gigs. I would walk to the band mailbox to check for inquiries about booking a date. I would wait for James, the "famous" one in the group to tell me about a phone call that would open doors. I was miserable most of the time because of the interminable wait and diminishing opportunities over the months.

I have realized over the years that my wiring lends itself to longing especially about what could be, what might be, if only . . . I exhilarate in new beginnings, starting-from-scratch hints of something alive and wonderful, or creating from nothing and seeing new birth. I want to experience the intelligently novel, the startlingly insightful or clever. I want to taste the delight of heaven's freedom and freshness even now. I long for the "you mean it can be this way?" I love being surprised by ingenuity that transports me to a world beyond and awakens my longing for more and deeper and more real.

Longing also hints at justice and making things right too. It is not merely concerned with pleasure and delight. God-breathed longing wants the good and true to prevail. Longing says "I have a dream." If it is aimed at important things it can launch the trajectory of an entire life and save or heal many others.

So when I am most myself, I am longing.

The problem is: so much of life involves waiting and struggling to turn worthwhile longing into reality. Creation is subject to frustration because of sin. Frustration sidles up to longing and gradually saps its life if one is not vigilant and tenacious. Headway is made or thwarted, and often, if headway is painfully slow, longing becomes anemic or eventually abandoned. A vision dies, sometimes even a God-sent one.

I have found beginning new ministry, ala imagine/northampton begins with vigorous longing and dreaming. It's exciting, even intoxicating to a degree. Life abounds in the idea and almost overwhelming potential of it all. The vision is grand! But you soon learn you need to keep your feet on the ground because the way forward will be tough, strewn with obstacles, frustrations and rabbit-trails galore . . . or just plain waiting to see what God is going to bring into being. Patience will need to be of the one foot in front of the other varieties, and it will feel sometimes like climbing that last 100 feet of Mount Everest with little strength and oxygen left.

In founding at least 5 new ministries, I have seen that for energizing longing to prevail you need a "one-day-at-a-time" perspective.You keep the longing simmering by patient persistence, not expecting too much progress, but not despairing of any either. You notice the steps forward, no matter how small and you expect the progress to be modest, unless God does the unusual. You are in for the duration, and you never stop longing for what could or must be. Gratitude for the smallest openings helps as well.

If the speed forward saps one's longing to trace levels over time he or she will need to take stock with God and let him opt them out or re-fire them.

Ultimately, longing turns dreams into reality when the person entrusted with God-sized longings never lets the progress of today sap the promise of many tomorrows lived in " a long obedience in the same longing of worth." Cheesy, I know, but true.[

Back to the Drummer in the Tollbooth

Since I last saw my comrade in sticks manning a tollbooth on the Mass Pike a few weeks ago I have not been able to forget him. I keep thinking about his tenacity. He sits for a number of hours handing out tickets which means that during certain periods of his shift he is interrupted constantly by people needing one, and yet, he keeps practicing in the lulls. Drumming is his larger purpose. Staying fit for the art, no matter. Hmmm.

So I have also been thinking about this old man planting a church. How does he (I) stay fit so as to be tenacious in a difficult mission? My interruptions, obstacles and flitterings are many. What does this drummer have to teach me?

First, I think it means never taking my eye off the goal to which I have dedicated myself. "Dedicated" is an important word here. I have decided to give my best to this Kingdom mission, whatever it takes. The goal of planting imagine/northampton is one to which I am dedicating precious years and resources. I must not lose sight of it when the going gets tough, the fear is substantial and discouragement comes for an unwelcome visit. No room for faltering if I am dedicated. My eye must stay fixed on where God is bidding me.

For imagine/northampton to take root, my dedication needs to be fierce and tough. Planting churches is not for the faint of heart or the lightly committed. I am learning such dedication. God help me!

Secondly, I must remain flexible in how I maintain the necessary fitness required. More often than not it will not be convenient to maintain the disciplines and activities best suited to keeping me on course: prayer, routine administration, damage control, making new relationships, studying, searching, listening, writing, ministering, creating concepts, etc. I will have to find my own "tollbooths" to keep "practicing." Sometimes the most unlikely places and situations will be my only option to keep after what is needed. Being flexible opens me to opportunity I would likely overlook because I only saw an obstacle or setback.

Planting imagine/northampton requires I learn a freedom of flexibility uncommon to me. I am not rigid, but God still has work to do in "loosening" me for the mission. I want him to complete this in me. God help me!

Thirdly, I must let my love for God, people, and his glorious Kingdom fuel the drive to stay fit and ready to act regardless. Love sheds self-absorption, laziness and cowardice. Love motivates courage and invention. Love says "yes" when I'd rather say "no, not now." Love gets my butt in the chair, or my feet on the street to engage and work rather than wander in the garden of lesser delights. Love gathers passion toward worthy pursuits. Love also keeps my eye toward eternity and what is needful to be ready for it.

For imagine/northampton to take root I will need such depth of love. All of us on the team will. I want to be that loving. God help me!

Lastly, the drummer in the tollbooth reminded me that a "long obedience in the same direction," should be the prime directive of my heart and will. A will fixed on obeying God gets the job done no matter. I know grace is necessary in all of it, but I can choose to give my will to a myriad of glittering things. A will fixed on obeying what God desires opens the way for serving what matters most. When obeying is proven over a long time, God's Kingdom reign is planted in my life and the lives of others he gives me to serve.

Being made fit to plant imagine/northampton needs me obeying God consistently for days turning into months and flowing into years. I have a long way still to go with this level of obedience I'm afraid. But I desire it. God help me!