So Many in Our World Will Never Know They Matter.

On Sunday nights I'm fond of, when I can, watching a program called Undercover Boss. The premise of the show is the CEO goes undercover and goes out in the field (last night it was Johnny Rockets, a quasi-retro burger joint) as a new hire or trainee to get a birds-eye view of what it's like to work in the company at the grass-roots level. They often stumble into human interest stories of which they were unaware. It can be very poignant what they discover.

I  am drawn especially to the working people who struggle to raise their kids and make ends meet day in and day out. They're often the "hard-luck" people who've never seemed to get untracked for whatever reason.What sociologists refer to as the working-class comprise a large portion of the people who work in our fast food places, big box stores and service businesses. They tend to be hourly workers or low-salaried. Nevertheless, they love their kids, and want to provide a better life for them. The people highlighted are dedicated to the work they do. They have passion and integrity to provide the service or do the job well. Some show a flair for creativity, even panache.

So last night one of the people highlighted was a guy working as a Shift Manager in an Atlantic City Johnny Rockets restaurant. He had a sad tale to tell of the unsolved murder of his daughter. He was convinced he knew who the perpetrator and took revenge on him, hurting him badly enough to warrant prison time. After he got out, his life was in shambles. He was homeless, living under the Boardwalk until he was given a chance at this job.

The undercover boss was so moved by his tragic story that he generous helped him financially, reducing the man to tears. But what the Shift Manager said in shocked gratitude caught my attention most. He said that no one had ever noticed him enough to do anything like what the CEO did. I couldn't forget what he said and what it meant.

I realized that innumerable people over the world now and throughout history live(d) the totality of their existence never knowing they matter a whit to anybody. They're mostly " fixture people" - they're just fixtures strewn about in our lives, not people we relate to -  we walk by every day without really seeing them. They are persons of little interest to us. They remove our garbage, clean our public bathrooms and hotel rooms. They serve our fast food, drive our buses, and cashier at our local food market . They might be addicts, panhandlers, prostitutes, the wandering mentally ill, or just street people hanging around with no particular place to go or initiative to get there. We glance at them and dismiss their common humanity. The uncomfortable truth is: they bear the same image of God as do we.

This morning I looked into the broken, sad eyes of such a person today. He looked cold and uncomfortable because of an old injury. He really just looked tired and miserable. He is a man who never got past what happened to him many years ago. I see him often. I call him by name and when he calls me 'sir," I remind him I am not a "sir" to anyone. My name is Kit. He mostly doesn't remember my name. I asked him if he needed anything. He looked up at me (he crouches much of the time), and said hesitantly, almost under his breath, "I'm hungry," then averted his eyes

I said, "I'll be right back." I went to our apartment and we heated up some homemade turkey and rice soup. I got him some bread and butter, an apple and shortbread. We gave him a Dunkin' Donuts Gift Card - they can sit in there as long as they pay for something and are not disruptive. I brought it back to him. He was surprised and grateful saying "God bless you." as he always does. I looked him right in the eye and said "God wants you to you matter a great deal to him. He wants you to never forget that," and I used his name. He needed to hear it. And I plan to keep trying to show him that its true. I don't want to treat him like a fixture in my very important life.

What the Shift Manager said last night on Undercover Boss helped me realize how many people learn they do not matter at all because of the way they are routinely treated, especially as not particularly worth knowing beyond being the other side of a service transaction at a store, or a walk-by and glance-away transaction on a city street. Most of them don't really matter all that much to most of us, and they learn to expect as much. They are rendered insignificant.

As Jesus-followers we are not given the OK to ignore people everyone else ignores. We are summoned to offer them the level of dignity the image they bear affords them even if they've not worn it well. We do not treat them as subservient even if they are serving us in some capacity. We honor the common humanity we share with them. We find ways to show interest in them as persons with stories not fixtures only there to meet our passing need. Remember, God has a special heart for his lowly, broken and forgotten children.

The Kingdom of God is the place where everyone is invited to the Banquet of the Shepherd King, the Host of redemption:

"Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." (Luke 14:12-14)

The Church carries the Kingdom of God to the world, one person at a time mostly. There are no fixtures in the church, only people who've found out they matter beyond their wildest imagining, or at least they're invited to find out. The church is a place where this happens on earth. It's a crazy-quilt family where helping people discover they matter should be a prime directive.

I sadly realize people arrive and leave this earth never knowing they were invited by God to his banquet all along. They spent their years as whispers and glimpses most thought never worth exploring further.

But I bet God's heavenly banquet table will be jam-packed with the world's forgotten who woke up to Jesus smiling at them, calling their name with a love so penetrating they became who they really are in the twinkling of eye. They will never be fixtures in his eternity.

So maybe when you and I are going about our very important business every day we could chance a pause in the midst of one of our very important transactions with the nameless image-bearer across from us to ask how they're doing or maybe thank them for their hard work, especially the folks whose tired facial lines show the weight they've been carrying for years. Or notice the faces of people you walk or drive by and ask God how to pray for them. However you do it, find ways to tell people they matter to you and to God.

Remember: many or most the people you encounter will have never heard that from anyone. Their Father wants to tell them through you and me.

imagine/Northampton's First Christmas Giveaway.

Last Saturday was a sunny, but cold and blustery day. You noticed the bite because of the wind. Three weeks prior, I'd sent out an invitation to imagine's supporters and friends giving them the opportunity to donate so we could buy a bag or two to hand out to homeless men and women on the street. We figured they'd be between $20-25 per bag. The folks generously sent nearly $1000!

We had different bags for men and women. Each was chock-full of things such as:

• gift cards for food and phone calls, appointment books (recommended by the Interfaith Shelter),
• gloves, scarves, t-shirts, and socks, hand sanitizer,
• washcloths, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, brushes, hairspray, Blistex, body lotion, hand wipes,
• nail clippers, Kleenex, razors, appointment books (recommended by the Interfaith Shelter),
• candies

Southwick Community Episcopal Church even donated 10 blankets for us to give away. The bags were bursting. It was amazing to see them all lined up ready to go. We had 36 in all.

Before we went out we paired up into 5 teams, figured out who was going to go where, and prayed for God's favor to lead us to people who could really use what we had to give. We also wanted to delight them as a measure of the gracious and unexpected love of God.

As we were putting the bags together some of us noted that due to the wind and cold, it appeared there weren't many homeless out. I noticed none of the folks I routinely see and talk to were in their usual spots. Drat! We really wanted to give away all the bags we had.

So out the door we went. Tricia and I headed west up Main Street. We encountered a Vet in a wheelchair who collects money for other Vets. He's friendly and talkative. We approached him and said "this is for you. Merry Christmas (You got it. We didn't say "happy holidays"). We handed him a blanket too. His eyes were wide open with surprise and he started to cry. I asked him his name and told him God loves him and he responded that God loves me too. He asked if he could give it to someone more needy and we agreed. He is a generous man and cares for homeless folks even though he's in a wheelchair. I've seem him do it.

We moved on and gave one to Daniel, a street musician who "works hard for the money." He's out there playing guitar and singing no matter the cold, heat or precipitation. He smiled, nodded his head in thanks and said "God bless you," before picking up the tune where he'd left off.

We crossed Main Street and saw a young man sitting with a guitar in front of one of the candy stores in town. I walked up to him and repeated what I'd said to the first two. He was completely surprised and said "For me?" He seemed a little shell-shocked and thanked me as well. Later, he'd find us, give it back and ask us to give it to someone more needy as he was not homeless. His honesty was refreshing. In the next half hour, we encountered 5 more men, but no women. By then, the word was getting around that someone was handing out stuff and to be on the lookout. They were.

The entire walkabout and search for people took about an hour, I think. People were heading back to imagine because we were going to have lunch together after the Giveaway. We were all chilled, but felt pretty good we'd been able to hand out 24 of the 36 bags even though the "regulars" weren't around at all. In the days since, Tricia and I've found a few of them and given them blankets and bags. Some of the folks we usually see still aren't on the street. If we can't before next Wednesday, we will give them to the Northampton Interfaith Shelter. One way or the other, they'll get to people who need them.

As I think about our first try at this, I realize we had little idea what to expect: How would people respond? Would we insult anyone by assuming they were homeless and try to give them a bag? Would we hesitate or would it feel awkward all of us parading around with gift bags full of stuff and blankets under our arms? We stood out after awhile. As I said, the word got around and fast.

In the end, I think we experienced doing another "let's see what happens" team event again, and are learning about the people in this town, who we are as imagine/Northampton, and how God is using us to gently build relationships with folks. We really are in still the learning phase of the mission and maybe will always be. We have few answers these days, but the mission is God's and he has us working it with him.

Also, gathering together over a meal, kids and all, and hanging out after is solidifying us as a community. We like being around each other and sharing this imagine/Northampton adventure as friends around Jesus, each in our own way. That day was a pleasure and a gift to us.

It remains a remarkable joy to me to give and see people be delighted, even moved. Kindness and generosity are lovely gestures of God's affection for people even far from him, or folks whose brokenness now defines all their days. Just being around God's kindness and generosity lifts my spirit. And Christmas is the perfect time to do this reflecting of God's love in giving his son to the world. Christmas should never be the only time for doing so, however.

In many ways, imagine/Northampton's Christmas Giveaway was a simple and small gesture that might not change anyone's

Lastly, seeing the imaginistas all bundled up and out on the street, in the wind and cold, trying to bless people was a happiness to me too. It feels like "this is what we're to be about:" giving, helping, blessing and recognizing people who may have made a frightful mess of things, or maybe have experienced setbacks and horrors which crushed their spirits. I don't know for sure, but I love seeing imagine/Northampton embracing such loving enterprise.

The Kingdom of God is revealed and present when we all do this sort of thing, whether spontaneously or planned. It's our task as Jesus-followers to carry his love to everyone so they might see him, even if its just something like a blanket or gift bag at Christmas time.

Father, give your people everywhere more more opportunity to do these kinds of things and infinitely more. Make us fully willing and able to follow through.

THE SACRED PAUSE: Advent Reflection on Hoping

 Below is what we at imagine/Northampton visit us for our Advent event called the Sacred Pause. It is self-directed and multi-sensory, but conducive to reflecting on Advent.

Season of Advent: THE SACRED PAUSE

HOPING

The Scripture says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Pr. 12:12) Hope is a very powerful attitude of the heart and mind. We choose to hope in the light of the faith we’ve put in Christ because we are convinced he is who he says he is. There is evidence that Jesus Christ is Immanuel (God [truly is] with us) in our lives. We’ve experienced him in worship, come to know him through the Scriptures, taught and preached, heard his “still small voice” in prayer and contemplation, had prayer answered, and experienced the testimonies of other Jesus-followers about his presence in their lives.

The essence of all hope is to wish or long for something with expectation of its fulfillment. Implicit in hope is confidence that what you hope for will come to be; otherwise it’s merely a desired fantasy. Hope desires what is hoped for; it looks forward to receiving or experiencing what is prized.

Hope enlivens the hopeful. It takes the edge off the troubles and afflictions of life. It steels the will toward good things to come, and focuses the heart on living well by doing good all the time. But, hope does not settle just for the “now.” It wants more because it has had glimpses, heard whispers and enjoyed subtle foretastes of glories and delights to come.

“Hope is the dream of a soul awake.” (French Proverb)

During the Advent /Christmas season we experience in a small part what we are hoping for: Christ was born and lived in real-time. We were born into true life through him in the present and when we take our first steps into eternity. We remember and celebrate Jesus’ birth in light of his death and resurrection. We wait not for his first birth, but for the birth of a redeemed creation where all will be set to right, the tears and pain will be gone, and life beyond what we can imagine will fill our “days.”   

Sometimes, though, our hope in almost everything feels challenged. We go through all sorts of valleys of “the shadow of death,” and our hope can be frustrated or wounded. We wear down. Yet, with each new Advent we have the chance to renew our hope because of “Christ in [us] the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27) The entire, glorious Christmas story can kindle a renewed inching back toward hoping again, for some, even hoping against all hope. Advent and Christmas freshens all of life if we look for it.

You see, hope contemplated can be hope revived and deepened. More so, contemplating the One in whom we have set our hope strengthens us to resilience and renewed expectation. Such hope holds on with grounded anticipation. It waits, but with a forward tilt and open heart.

The question is where are you “tilting” this Advent season? Does there seem too much “hope deferred,” in your life? Have fears or worries gained a foothold, weighing you down so you can’t even enter into the anticipating and celebrating. Is fatigue smothering your ability to hold fast to hope and joy? Is family pain, loss of work, or lack money snatching  Advent and Christmas from you? There’s hope.

Take time to sit in the grace-soaked “pause” with your Abba. Breathe slowly and lift your cares to him as they come into your thoughts, each one. Ask him to settle you into peaceful stillness where urgency and stress aren’t welcome. When it feels right, ask him the following questions and listen to what he will show you:

1. Father, how have I let the cares and struggles of my life gradually silence my hope? Where are you inviting me to desire and expect again?

2. Father, how would you have my soul come “awake” to you afresh this Advent season?

3. Lord, teach me more of the reality of “Christ in me, the hope of glory.”

When a Man Decides to Leave Emotional Boyhood Behind.

When does a man mature emotionally?

What does that look like?

What keeps him from maturing such that he remains a boy emotionally?

I've been a counselor and spiritual director since the late 80's. I have worked with hundreds of men individually and in groups. I'm well acquainted with the emotional lives of men because I'm of that peculiar tribe, and have done the kind of work which put me right in the thick of how men feel and think. My work has centered on healing the wounds of the heart. With men, such wounds directly affect how robust their  masculinity is manifest in a real world, particularly matters of character.

You need to know I also went though a year of intense inner healing.

Let me begin by defining two key terms: emotional masculinity and character:

Emotional masculinity is manhood infused by character. Masculinity is more than being born male. Masculinity is an attitude of the heart and mind cultivated through struggle and consistent effort. It grows from core values which pervade a man's chosen way of living in this world. Character in a man is expressed through spiritually-informed qualities such as integrity, authenticity, courage, industry, generosity of heart, humility and compassion, especially for the weak, oppressed and powerless. Faith, hope and love (especially love), inform his deepest motivations and guide his most prized enterprises. He is fully human with sin, blindspots, prejudices, errors, weaknesses, failures and the persistent need for others to help complete him, especially elders in the way of living from wisdom and magnanimity.

He is neither Atlas nor Solomon. He is flesh and blood, but his heart has been turned gradually toward spending life not in hot pursuit of "treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal," but on "laying up for himself treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." (Mt. 16:19-20). Those treasures are gained by giving away his life in the service of God and others, no matter his business or stated profession. He has decided in his broken humanity way to live for the good, the true and the worthy. Like Jesus (but as a mere man), such a man has "set his face to go to Jerusalem" (Lk. 9:51), to "deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow [Christ]" (Lk. 9:23). He has given away his rights to personal empire to the One who will ennoble him at the finish line for doing so.

To put it bluntly, at some point, he's voluntarily surrendered all to become a doulos Christou (slave of Christ) even if he's not really sure what it will require of him at the time. For most, it turns out to be lifelong metamorphosis to be sure, and grace will have to pick him up or turn him around and put him back together more times than he'd like to admit, but this is the journey where emotional masculinity is forged and refined and spiritually crafted into Christ-likeness. It's the only way. Other men will look for shortcuts; many will settle for an agreeable niceness, and more than we might think will abandon the hard way of the Cross completely, but he will struggle quietly  to stay the course one step at a time over decades. It's because he's decided to leave emotional boyhood behind, although he probably would not think to call it that.

When a man chooses to stay in emotional boyhood he becomes cut off from his destiny. The promise God puts in him as potential to be activated by hard work of character building. Sometimes his choice is determined laziness (a character flaw), most often it comes from, sometimes profound, emotional wounding in his formative years. A key factor here is his ability to take initiative in the face of fear. Because of criticism, mocking, or abuse, he internalizes shame and thus has no platform of healthy self-acceptance and confidence to make a way in the world. So he hesitates, hides, buries himself in "wine, women and song," or worse, learns to manipulate or deceive others, including women, to get what he wants without revealing his deep-seated fear and shame.

He fiercely protects his emotional boyhood because the path to healing and freedom will force him to go into the pain and that's just too terrifying. He trusts no one and feels deeply alone because it. Boyhood is a cover and covering. The only way forward is gently, but persistently coaxing the boy toward the possibility of freedom. He needs to feel safe and supported in the process. He is much more fragile than he might look on the surface. Such a man needs to see that despite what was done to him, and sometimes it was horrific (it could be fairly termed rape or abuse whether it was done physically or emotionally),  Jesus has put the potential of masculinity into him, and will heal his "broken image" toward emotional masculinity if he opens to it. Every man is God's idea and has a place if he chooses to look for it. Inner healing is the first step forward.

So here's some of the more predominant characteristics I've noticed over 20 years of working with men who cultivate emotional manhood or preserve emotional boyhood. Remember this is a state of mind, and a way of coming at life.

1.

• Emotional boyishness lives for pleasure, especially of the body:  food, sex, comfort, getting high, physical strength, etc. Delaying gratification is anathema.
• Emotional masculinity enjoys pleasure fully, but is not mastered by its pursuit in whatever form; it strives to avoid or bring into submission destructive pleasures

 2.

• Emotional boyishness always shies away from facing its deepest fears. 
• Emotional masculinity acknowledges deep fear and might hesitate for awhile or stumble under the weight of it, but it eventually turns and faces the "giants in the land."

3.

• Emotional boyishness looks after the interests of self first and will avoid doing the right thing unless it benefits its own interests or avoids punishment.
• Emotional masculinity might hesitate doing the right thing because of selfishness or ignorance, but will eventually move toward the right thing because it is the right thing.

4.

• Emotional boyishness always blames others first; self-examination is not a strong suit.
• Emotional masculinity, especially after self-examination, has learned to humbly accept blame where blame is warranted; it might not feel good, but character and righteousness demand it (core values).

5.

• Emotional boyishness places its rights above the rights of others always demanding, "What about me?"
• Emotional masculinity sees the rights of others as equal to its own and will defend theirs as much as its, even at great personal cost occasionally.

6.

• Emotional boyishness stays committed to relationships, challenges, work responsibilities and life obligations as long as it feels good or benefits its interests.
• Emotional masculinity stays committed to relationships, challenges, work responsibilities and life obligations because its word is its bond. Integrity matters.

7.

• Emotional boyishness is passive aggressive in order to stay in control when called to account.
• Emotional masculinity tries to face the medicine honestly and accept blame for sinful motives, attitudes or behavior. It does not stonewall or shut down to stop the confrontation.

8.

• Emotional boyishness will finish what it starts if there is pleasure involved, the effort required is fairly easy, and someone else will shoulder the burden if it loses interest.
• Emotional masculinity will strive to finish what it starts because it committed to doing so; stick-to-it-tiveness is a valued.

9.

• Emotional boyishness does not spend time examining or practicing virtues reflecting character; there is no immediate payoff
• Emotional masculinity views a life of virtue as a high calling and a worthy lifetime goal of intrinsic value.

In sum, when a man decides to leave emotional boyhood behind he sets out on a rigorous journey into imperfect wellness and wholeness, but spiritual authenticity is the prize. He becomes a man defined by the Word of God. He's always is a work in progress, but he has "stepped over the line" (a critical act) in order to head toward holiness and righteousness. Such a man has a real shot at wisdom and Kingdom fruitfulness because he has embraced God's definition of masculinity. Jesus is the epitome, but all of his male followers are invited on the noble journey. Emotional boyhood might promise fleeting pleasures, comforts and safety, but a boy remains a boy, woefully dependent on others (even if he's unaware) to make life pleasant or successful for him. Emotional masculinity offers infinitely more, but it just requires the building of character by shouldering a cross one day at a time. Pain precedes the treasure and the treasure rewards the pain.

Helpful Reading:

The Silence of Adam: Larry Crabb
Wild At Heart: John Eldredge
Code of Conduct for Servants of the Most High God: Roger Van Der Werken

Should The Church See Itself As A Missional Team?

Before I head into my thoughts I should state  I know the Church cannot be reduced simply to one aspect of its nature. I'm not practicing a mild reductio ad absurdum. I understand it's the Body of Christ from all over the world comprising all who've gone before, are now,  and are to come. I know it has many functions as God's now-and-not-yet Kingdom: hospital, sanctuary, training center, worship center, community, prophetic counterpoint, defender and advocate for the poor and powerless, sojourning witness, missionary presence, spiritual household away from Home, etc. Through the church, God's redemptive purposes are learned and lived out in the world by summoned people no matter their pedigree or place.

Ever since I read about the Church's DNA being missional from the writings of guys in the last 5-10 years, I've been intrigued by what missional actually looks like, particularly in terms of how an individual church understands itself, how it develops its culture, toward what ends it uses its resources, and how its people conduct their lives together and apart. In the process of actually helping lead a church trying to be missional in Northampton, MA, I've been asking similar questions as imagine/Northampton works out its way of being missional.

As I've been fond of doing lately, let's begin with two key definitions: what is a missional church and what is a team?

"A missional church is a unified body of believers, intent on being God’s missionary presence to the indigenous community that surrounds them, recognizing that God is already at work." (Brad Brisko, http://missionalchurchnetwork.com/what-is-a-missional-church-2/)

 "A team is a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, performance goals, and approach for which they are mutually accountable." (Katzenbach and Smith, 1993)

Notice  both definitions include the idea that the people involved are engaged in a commonly held purpose. It means something important to them, and forms a certain identity and culture. It implies informed dedication. Being "intent" and "committed" characterize a church with a clearly-stated mission. While individual people using their gifts may work toward the mission differently,even uniquely, they will still do so being unified around its essentials and mandates. Brisko calls it being "intent on being God's missionary presence to the indigenous community that surrounds them." Focused intent and unified commitment characterize a missional team.

I also think it important to note the idea of "performance goals" and accountability. I've been in the church in one form or another for 38 years. I know accountability and performance make people gun-shy when it comes to all things church because of grievous abuses in highly legalistic or controlling churches which turn Jesus-following into communities of fear and failure. I'm not advocating anything remotely of the sort. I've had the blessing of being involved mostly with churches which live grace-filled community.

The problem I've seen is that, beyond perhaps the pastor, elders, paid staff, worship team, and folks who work with kids, other church members were not held to account regarding any sort of missional "performance." We don't like thinking that way. It feels foreign. Church is not about performance; it's about freedom, love, grace and acceptance. Well yeah, but even the Scriptures call us all to account over certain spiritual , moral and ethical "best practices." "Running the race," implies more than strolling about. We abhor pressuring anyone into stepping up the the plate

I think performance and mutual accountability are quite appropriate missionally, similar to the way someone's work can be "measured." If we have no way to examine how all of us on the Kingdom team are doing with living our agreed mission, we have little way of knowing if we're actually doing what we said we'd do. It doesn't have to be done in a ham-fisted manner at all, but I think it is healthy to periodically examine the team (church) and its individual missionaries to grow at serving God who "is already at work" in our surrounding communities.

In turn, knowing each other's "complementary skills" for the mission makes us all aware of how God has mustered a group of people to a particular church in a certain community with specific work for them to do. We can see his economy of gifts and unleash them together to pursue the goals we've been given. When we're aware of each other's gifts in the mission we can be more intelligent about how we graciously support and challenge one another to "seize the day" as the Spirit summons. Awareness is power with focus for opportunity.

With the above said, I think the Church should see itself as a missional team. As soon as you use the term "team" you suggest a unified identity with a commonly held purpose and unfolding direction. Team implies we're gathered to do something; it's action oriented, not a place or program. So church becomes dynamically more than Sunday morning worship, a place of education and nurture, or a theological bulwark against the encroaching world. If we do not think of ourselves as a missional team, it's easy to settle into being spiritual consumers just trying to get by being the best heaven-bound people we can be rather than missionaries summoned by God at a particular time in redemptive history to love and serve others while building relationships to open them to Jesus.

Well-formed and functioning teams in sports, in combat or at work have a specific mandate and everything they do serves that mandate. There is focus, clarity, meaning and belonging derived from the mandate and the team pursuit of it. Why should it be different in church culture? Our goal is not to win championships, increase profits or defend our way of life from interlopers; our goal is to follow Jesus into all the places where all expressions of death reign in this world and offer the redemptive Kingdom of life one person at a time. For the Church to intentionally shoulder identity as a missional team with that express purpose acts as a laser rather than a scattergun.

I choose the laser. I think we all should . . . and together.

Why God Gave the World Drummers.

I was seriously infected in the year of my 8th grade of high school.

When I was still in grade school, my dad had a pair of Cuban bongos around the house that I'd occasionally try to "play" when we'd have family gatherings at Thanksgiving or Christmas, and he'd play his guitar and sing (as I mentioned in an earlier post, he was very gifted at both). I had no idea what I was doing, but it felt strangely good anyway. The universe seemed to line up.

In 8th grade, I had a small record player in my room where I'd listen to Beach Boys and Chubby Checker, records, etc. At some point during those listenings I dragged out the bongos and "played" them with an old pair of brushes my Dad had lying around for some reason.

I discovered as I sat in my room with the Beach Boys, I could keep time to the record and it felt like it was what I was made for. I'd never felt more alive than when I was trying to play with the simple music I was hearing. I still had no idea which end was up, but I wanted to find out.

So I did.

At 15, I'd hop on the bus with drumsticks and books in tow and head downtown for a Saturday morning (I had to wake him up sometimes), lesson from the best teacher in Albuquerque, a jazz player transplanted from St. Louis with strong technique, an impeccable sense of rhythmic time, and wonderful musicality. He played the right thing at the right time and made it feel good for everyone playing with him. He enhanced the music through his musical sensibility. I wanted what he had with a vengeance.

Through high school I gigged with rock bands and what were then called dance bands. In one, I met Tom van der Geld. At the time he was a trumpet player. He was a couple of years older than me and loved jazz like I was growing to. Somewhere in college he switched cold turkey to playing vibraphone (an instrument most non-musicians call a xylophone or marimba because they look similar). At the University of New Mexico, we formed a jazz group and through a series of national collegiate jazz competitions, we both won scholarships to Berklee College of Music in Boston - he a full and I a partial. Off we went.

A few months after arriving in Boston, I met my future wife, Tricia and a few months later, through her, I met Jesus. One year later I was invited by James Ward to become a member of the first jazz-influenced Christian touring group. It's name was Elan. Before we hit the road we spent a summer rehearsing at Peniel Bible Conference in Lake Luzerne, NY. At summer's end, we played a "thank you" concert. In it, was some of the instrumental/improvisational music I had been writing.

After the concert a very distraught-looking young guy came up to me and wanted to know why we were playing such music, especially the highly rhythmic instrumental pieces. Did I not realize what rhythm did to people? He went on to explain he'd been to as seminar by a very popular Christian teacher at the time where he learned that highly-rhythmic music was designed to drive people to sexual activity. In fact, rhythm was the culprit. I have to admit I was almost speechless at hearing what he said. I'd never had anyone enlighten me of such a dreadful problem. While just a year-old believer I still knew his thinking was flawed and tried to gently help him recognize it. Not sure of the outcome from his side, but I don't think I won him over.

To his credit, his challenge forced me to examine and develop a theology of art. I'm still exploring. Because I am a drummer by nature and heart, I've done some thinking about why God gave drumming to the world.

1.  He created time, movement and sequence. One author said, "Time and rhythm are two elements that make up the very foundation of music itself. They are omnipresent and eternal elements that govern all movement in an orderly universe. Anything moving has rhythm. Oscillations, and waves have rhythm.  Movement is movement through time, however infinitesimal.


2. He created numbers which have their own rhythm when gathered in groups and sequences to be heard: 
123...123...12...12...123. Number orders rhythm. That's why musicians learn to count in order to know where they are and how to parse complex, multi-layered rhythms. Counting has rhythm. As soon as you go from 1 to 2, you've created a simple rhythm. Number also gives rhythmic sequences a contour and momentum over time. 

3. He created sound and the ability to hear it. Read this sentence aloud and there is a rhythm or cadence to it. We can distinguish the rhythms of language if we listen even a little. Poetry is like music in that regard. Word and sentence rhythm illuminate the hearing and meaning of a well-wrought poem. The words move the meaning by rhythmic sequence, however subtle. Or walk anywhere and you can hear a cacophony of rhythms from source upon source - all jumbling together in a constant flow of instants, but distinguished in pattern as we turn to notice and listen. We can pick out sequence and rhythmic shape. Our brains are hard-wired to catalog and reference them even before we give the sound a name.

The reality is there is no sound or music at all without rhythm. Musical notes are sound events oscillating at certain frequencies; the higher the note the faster the oscillations. In turn, there is no melody without rhythm because one note must move through time to get to the next one creating a sense of melodic shape. Rhythm moves musical notes into discernible patterns called phrases. Songs and larger melodic structures have many phrases all transported forward by rhythm.

4. God gave people the ability to sense rhythm and for most it is pleasant to do so. When people refer to a "beat" they're acknowledging an orderly rhythmic movement which can be felt in time. Musicians talk of "being in the groove." Drummers think about "staying in the pocket" or "keeping time." People tap their toes or get up and dance to rhythms which somatically move them. Moving to an infectious rhythm is invigorating and fun. Celebrations often include music with robust rhythmic pulses to get people in the mood for celebrating.


5. I think strong rhythms played by drummers are tied primarily to feeling. Drumming can create a somber atmosphere as when I, my son, Dan, and nephew, Jesse, played a slow funeral cadence on drums when my father's remains were taken out of the church to the cemetery while my daughter, Eslie, sang Be Thou My Vision. There was somber, respectful gravity in the air because of deep sounding low drums reminding us of our sadness and loss that day. 

Most often drummers enliven a joyous occasions spontaneously propelling people to their feet. It's commonly held among musicians that a bad drummer can deflate a band's energy and a great drummer can elevate or ignite it. Drummers create a sense of energy and excitement as they lock onto rhythms catalyzing people to move in sync with them, or at least to move. Drummers add a sense of power to dense musical structures and drama coinciding with passionate melodies or words.  They propel the music forward, giving it an unmistakable feeling of momentum and inevitability.


I think God created drummers because he likes watching passionate, dedicated players enhance the music with their ability to create interest and energy. He gave them the ability to serve the musicians and the music by creating and managing the orderly unfolding of musical ideas which move the heart and challenge the mind. Drummers invite people engage the kinetic energy of the music. Thus, they not only serve their musical cohorts, but the people gathered and listening so they might experience and feel something transcendent. 


God made drummers percussive animators of sound and sequence. He gave them the task of making the music dance and the heart leap. He gave them the calling to point people to joy and passion, the JOY and PASSION which STILL makes the universe leap to rhythms heard first in the place of their beginning by the One who said "Let there be rhythms for all the dances of life in the heavens and on the earth!" Drummers feel that original call in their hands and feet synchronized and flying, even if they don't know the God of the Big Dance or they play music dedicated to baser pursuits. You can see it in their passion. If the have heart and integrity in their work, you can see it.

These days I've come to think God made drummers to offer rhythm so others can fly, and sing and dance and shout. Go on YouTube and listen to the drummers who play with African bassist Richard Bona. Listen to congeros Giovanni Hidalgo or Poncho Sanchez, or drum kit virtuoso, Horacio "El Negro" Hernandez. Listen to Steve Gadd or Jeff Porcaro stay in the pocket. 

Oh yeah, and while you're at it, let our toes tap...It's good for the soul!

When Mental Toughness Requires An Unexpected Change of Course.

"Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It's a state of mind-you could call it character in action." Vince Lombardi

³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5 ESV

I've been fighting a funk the last 10 days of so. It's not a P-Funk kinda funk that causes your booty to shake; it's a funk that smothers your heart and pulls your thoughts into a thick, enervating fog. Your heart grows tired and your mind feels like the batteries need to be replaced so the light can come back on. It's stultifying to say the least.

My afflicting funk stems from the persisting and deepening financial drought we are settling into. It's feels like a fog which won't lift; it blankets our days and laces fear in our sleep. A palpable heaviness pervades it. We both talk of existential (although we don't use the word), tiredness. I know the weariness is from growing stress. Those of you who've been there know unpayed bills tend to stare at you with a withering gaze. It's no fun.

The long and the short of it is I'm just not making enough money to hold up my end of the bargain with supporting our household. imagine/Northampton is so small it can't carry my weight nor am I counseling
anywhere near enough to support  my salary.

In the midst of the work malaise I'm beginning to think God is signaling a change in my direction. It began with reading missional church guys talking about the bi-vocational pastor being the wave of the future. Much of what they write makes good sense to me. Is God calling me to this? What would be so bad about that?

As I said, my counseling and spiritual direction work has virtually dried up with just a handful of clients remaining. Tricia's is growing. The decline has been trending this way since the early summer of this year. Something has changed. I can feel it spiritually and the numbers show it. There looks no end in sight and I'm running out of time to turn things around.
What does this have to do with mental toughness?

Well, I think in my case, mental toughness, is being able to keep the mission I was called to in Northampton in firm view with no wavering while seeing the change I need to make in terms of remaining full-time paid staff as falling forward. In fact, it turns out to be part of God's taking me deeper into the mission in a way I never would have found on my own. In the quote above, Vince Lombardi combined sacrifice and self-denial with a "perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give up" I doubt I'll ever be capable of a perfectly disciplined will," this side of heaven, but I get the refusing-to-give-up character part because I'm doing that so far. I'm not quitting imagine until God tells me to.

 The Apostle Paul tells me that mental toughness has to do with enduring suffering and hardship so that godly character qualities take root in me, and hope can keep me stayed on following Christ while working to open the Kingdom to folks - hope infused with God's love.

So God can:
test my mettle,
put me in over my head,
take me to the edge of my faith,
remove all my safety nets,
and even change where I work,

to strengthen my character, making it tough enough to carry the weight of my task in imagine /Northampton's mission.

Mental toughness can also be about staying the course when God expands the scope of the mission he has given without consulting with me (as if he should!). For instance, rather than having me hold down the fort every day at the imagine/Northampton offices, or being the "Chief Communications Officer," a role I've played by temperament and default since we got up here, he gives me a job elsewhere and maybe it doesn't look like ministry at all on the surface, or maybe its in a form I didn't recognize before and would've never headed toward on my own. Just because my work environment changes doesn't mean the mission has.

More simply, mental toughness also means buckling down and helping dig us out of our financial hole even if my imagine/Northampton role diminishes considerably or has to end. I made a prior promise to Tricia to care of her that is of equal or greater worth. Integrity as a Jesus-follower includes meeting my financial obligations and doing what I have to even if it's painful. It's big-boy stuff.

Mental toughness never lets go of the cause or mission, or the non-negotiable values animating any effort of worth. The goal or cause is so compelling a person will pay the cost, fight through the pain, make the sacrifice, overcome the discouragement and hang tough when all appears in shambles. Mental toughness is the domain of those willing to go down with the ship if the ship must go down. I believe it's a virtue which ennobles ordinary people captivated by conviction.

Truth be told, it's taken me a awhile to get to the place of altering my short course to sustain the long haul. There've been "giants in the land," and I've hesitated to adjust my course far too long.  Adjusting I'll be in the days ahead. Pray for me if you think about it. I'll be heading out as a "stranger in a strange land." At least it feels that way at the outset.