I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but the God who intersected my life literally for a few seconds on a warm, Albuquerque spring day in 1957-8 as I was walking home from school for lunch, and then pursued my heart full-out in the winter and spring of 1972 in Boston, has let me know he wants me to circle back to an earlier time of great learning, and re-immerse in the spiritual disciplines he taught me then. He's not said why.
Those of you who've read my Old Men Planting Churches blog over its duration are aware of what I think about having experienced an adventure I'd never undertaken previously with him. Planting a church was not on the radar screen until late 2007, and then quite unexpectedly. For 20 years prior, I and Tricia spent our time at the Center For Renewal Retreat House on the property of Covenant Presbyterian Church (aka The Barn), in Simsbury, Connecticut offering counseling, the healing of memories, and spiritual direction. We also led many Listening in Christ and Immersion Retreats for folks from all over. Having returned to the CFR to do some of that again in the last couple of years, I recently began to notice a subtle enticing, and I really do mean subtle. It persists too.
He wants me to re-immerse myself in the spiritual disciplines we learned and taught, especially finding an internal quiet in solitude and silence, listening prayer, and journaling. The point of such pursuit is intimacy with Christ. Because of what he's shown us here in Northampton regarding the missional way of following him, I've recognized for awhile these spiritual disciplines are to be wedded to this way of life with the Spirit. For instance, that's why I named the cohort we are a part of the inward (intimacy with Christ)/OUTWARD (following Christ in the world where he places you), Missional Formation Cohort. Focused intimacy and mission are at the heart of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Focused intimacy and mission are at the heart of what it means to, "love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and your neighbor as yourself." Neglect one and our spiritual life is skewed, or out of balance in my opinion.They both need to be there. I see their unity as the "normal Christian life."
So, I've begun listening and journaling what I hear more frequently. The retreat we led a few weeks ago seemed to open something: http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2013/08/enveloped-by-abiding-interior-stillness.html. These vital spiritual practices had really fallen by the way side, and was pretty much a hit or miss activity. I wasn't working at it as a discipline whatsoever. For many years listening and journaling were key means by which I connected with God.
In turn, the Spirit has been enticing me to re-read some of the books which formed my understanding about listening and journaling starting with Dallas Willard's Hearing God: Developing A Conversational Relationship With God. From there I plan to re-read the very first book I read on the subject called Dialogue With God by Mark Virkler, and Hearing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby. I'm not sure where I'll go after that.
Interesting to me is I notice re-reading Willard's book feels fresh. I'm an avid underliner and write-in-the-margins kind of reader, but I've been delighted about how much clarity I'm seeing from the second read. Because I'm an explorer by design, I tend to be very much in the moment with new reading. It's more surficial, and I'm making new discoveries as I read rather than going deep into or parsing out the ideas carefully. I get lost when I do so. I also tend not to re-read a book right after I've read it the first time. Study has never been easy for me, but I have a quick mind and can appropriate what I need for the road ahead on a first read.
Also, the return and re-immersion in general has surprised me a little. Since being in Northampton, we've primarily focused on imagine and the missional way, a forward vantage: helping people discover and follow the God who is far more than they imagine. Prior, our vantage was in helping believers know this God through listening, praying, journaling, being on retreat, learning how to sit vigilantly in the silence and solitude, or learning how to heal from past hurts and destructive habits. Now, it seems God wants to bring the two together. I'm on board.
I suspect this circling back from God's point of view is merely another facet of the task we've been given to reflect his heart and nature to others on our watch. In his flow of history toward redemption all is forward for everyone called by his Name. So if or when he's called you to revisit what you learned before, it's to enable you to be more fruitful in the future, to expand your understanding with previously tread ground so wisdom can achieve it's life-yielding results in lives. God-ordained circling back deepens wisdom. Thomas Merton said we are always beginners when it comes to the things of God. I think there's an element of truth to that, especially with our spiritual growth and ripening. We never arrive until we arrive in the presence of the King of Kings and become who we truly are. For now, we move forward, stay still, take side paths, or circle back on the way to what is needed and what will be all that was ever necessary.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thoughts On Having Re-formed The inward/OUTWARD Missional Formation Cohort.
Last Wednesday up in our third-floor apartment overlooking Main Street Northampton six of us reconvened the inward/OUTWARD Missional Formation Cohort. I wrote about it's launch in early 2012 if you didn't read it: http://oldmenplantingchurches.blogspot.com/2012/01/thoughts-on-imagines-first.html. We disbanded in the summer, and I was not sure if I'd reconvene it. However, over the last few months the Spirit seemed to bring it to mind repeatedly. Despite some of the problems we encountered with the first, for instance, it being too big and having folks come in and out who were not part of imagine, there was much of great value and formative spiritual and missional import going on. I never thought otherwise.
So in the late spring of this year, I was wanting to provide another opportunity for folks to really talk about and encounter each other's actual life with Jesus: the good, the not-so-good, and the "I'd rather not talk about just yet " stuff. I wanted it to be real, informal and engaging for everybody, similar to what Tricia and I have experienced in Listening in Christ retreat formats. While I or Tricia might set the stage - although not exclusively so - I would encourage everyone to engage all of us as equals, on the same formation journey, while in different places along the road, but connected and close as a cohort necessarily is. Because we were in on the ground floor and have been leaders since imagine's inception it is easy for people to fall in line with that. There are times and places in the journey where such "positioning" is essential, but I wanted to loosen it considerably to explore where it could lead. I wanted freedom and responsibility to unfold from everyone.
We'd had an initial meeting a month or so ago to test the waters with folks, and see if people wanted to do it at all. They did. So when we met this week, I did a quieting/settling opening activity, then set the stage for our evening which would be "weighted" toward open dialogue much in the way a spiritual director would invite a person to talk about how he or she is actually living with God. I guess you could term it group spiritual direction, but neither Tricia nor I would assume a formal director role; we'd participate as well. If things fell apart we could get it back in motion because of the years of experience we've had, but there was no need for that. I told everyone to feel free to ask questions to clarify something or seek more input. Again, I wanted interaction not top-down leading.
The bulk of our time together was talking about how we were experiencing relationship with God these days. Everyone had something to say; there was dialogue, even some offering of insights based what a person had experienced or learned. The conversation was real and people seemed quite free to offer what they were thinking or feeling. I sense there is a mutual hunger for this in everyone. Spiritual life can grow the deepest when people have a chance to talk about what they are actually going through with others who listen, offer support, even a word or two of insight without judgment or sermonizing - you all know what I'm talking about. I think trust was being built, although not because people were afraid of each other. It's just natural to test the temperature of the water before taking the first plunge.You know: what are the ground rules? How are people responding and communicating? What feels safe and appropriate, etc.?
I think it safe to say our first plunge seemed to agree with everyone in the room. Hopes are high for a substantial camaraderie to form including deep friendships, spiritual or otherwise. We want to go beyond the traditional "fellowship," "community-building" group into a life-giving interplay of love, filial support and inspiration which helps each of us follow Jesus with passion and realness. Following Jesus flows out of a vigorous and deepening love for Him, and a life-giving love in real-time for one another as we head down His path together.
By the way, so no one gets the wrong idea we're not pulling away and forming another church; we're still imagine/Northampton with other folks who are imagine/Northampton too, and have been since the beginning. We're just exploring life together in the way I explained above. It should enrich our overall corporate life. I hope similar groups form in our midst so people have a chance to be the church in this more intimate form as well. We do get together with everyone else at imagine for worship and such, but the cohort will be small, weekly, and intentional around growing in the spiritual/missional cohort way which such groups can promote through grace and love.
Stay tuned...
So in the late spring of this year, I was wanting to provide another opportunity for folks to really talk about and encounter each other's actual life with Jesus: the good, the not-so-good, and the "I'd rather not talk about just yet " stuff. I wanted it to be real, informal and engaging for everybody, similar to what Tricia and I have experienced in Listening in Christ retreat formats. While I or Tricia might set the stage - although not exclusively so - I would encourage everyone to engage all of us as equals, on the same formation journey, while in different places along the road, but connected and close as a cohort necessarily is. Because we were in on the ground floor and have been leaders since imagine's inception it is easy for people to fall in line with that. There are times and places in the journey where such "positioning" is essential, but I wanted to loosen it considerably to explore where it could lead. I wanted freedom and responsibility to unfold from everyone.
We'd had an initial meeting a month or so ago to test the waters with folks, and see if people wanted to do it at all. They did. So when we met this week, I did a quieting/settling opening activity, then set the stage for our evening which would be "weighted" toward open dialogue much in the way a spiritual director would invite a person to talk about how he or she is actually living with God. I guess you could term it group spiritual direction, but neither Tricia nor I would assume a formal director role; we'd participate as well. If things fell apart we could get it back in motion because of the years of experience we've had, but there was no need for that. I told everyone to feel free to ask questions to clarify something or seek more input. Again, I wanted interaction not top-down leading.
The bulk of our time together was talking about how we were experiencing relationship with God these days. Everyone had something to say; there was dialogue, even some offering of insights based what a person had experienced or learned. The conversation was real and people seemed quite free to offer what they were thinking or feeling. I sense there is a mutual hunger for this in everyone. Spiritual life can grow the deepest when people have a chance to talk about what they are actually going through with others who listen, offer support, even a word or two of insight without judgment or sermonizing - you all know what I'm talking about. I think trust was being built, although not because people were afraid of each other. It's just natural to test the temperature of the water before taking the first plunge.You know: what are the ground rules? How are people responding and communicating? What feels safe and appropriate, etc.?
I think it safe to say our first plunge seemed to agree with everyone in the room. Hopes are high for a substantial camaraderie to form including deep friendships, spiritual or otherwise. We want to go beyond the traditional "fellowship," "community-building" group into a life-giving interplay of love, filial support and inspiration which helps each of us follow Jesus with passion and realness. Following Jesus flows out of a vigorous and deepening love for Him, and a life-giving love in real-time for one another as we head down His path together.
By the way, so no one gets the wrong idea we're not pulling away and forming another church; we're still imagine/Northampton with other folks who are imagine/Northampton too, and have been since the beginning. We're just exploring life together in the way I explained above. It should enrich our overall corporate life. I hope similar groups form in our midst so people have a chance to be the church in this more intimate form as well. We do get together with everyone else at imagine for worship and such, but the cohort will be small, weekly, and intentional around growing in the spiritual/missional cohort way which such groups can promote through grace and love.
Stay tuned...
Friday, August 9, 2013
To Walk Out Of God's Will Is To Walk Into Nowhere.
The title of this blogpost is a C.S. Lewis quote from Perelandra. I found it on Pinterest (I know . . . really, dude???) actually, and was grabbed by it. Because I don't know the context of his sentence, I'm not sure what larger theme he was exploring.
Be that as it may, I think the sentence itself has all sorts of realities to ponder.
Here are some off the top of my head:
I.
1. God's will is the SOMEWHERE of all somewheres worthy of my full effort to" live and move and have our being" therein.
2. God's will is the REALITY creating, animating and sustaining all of life. "Let there be" begins it all; without it, there is no some-anything.
3. God's will is expressed most fully by a relentless, creative love which has no boundary unless he wills one; love infuses his will.
4. God's will is full of God's counsel and God's provision; wisdom finds and knows its course by God's will.
5. God's will reflects his Lordship over all being animate and inanimate, time and space, seen and unseen, that which is, was, and will be for eternity, before time, and after time, beyond time.
6. God's will is subject only to how he chooses to direct it, as he chooses to direct it, where he chooses to direct it, whenever he chooses to direct it.
7. God's will is true life, genuine liberty and ultimate completion for all who yield their wills to embrace and follow it.We become truly human under its tutelage.
II.
1. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is tragic blindness.
2. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is a fool's errand masquerading as free self-determination.
3. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is trusting the present, immediate or future to one's perception and understanding of what is and what will turn out, i.e., naive faith in chance, being in control, or being a good person so good things must happen.
4. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is cutting oneself from a parachute and assuming you'll figure out how to fly in due time.
5. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is following enticing delusion which ultimately kills the ability for true being.
6. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is much ado about nothing or no ado toward what matters most.
7. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere can never satisfy the deepest longings of the heart, the noble quest for what yields enduring significance, or the intended meaning for why a person lived at all.
8. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere becomes a slow, imperceptible death leading to existential and final NOWHERE.
Be that as it may, I think the sentence itself has all sorts of realities to ponder.
Here are some off the top of my head:
I.
1. God's will is the SOMEWHERE of all somewheres worthy of my full effort to" live and move and have our being" therein.
2. God's will is the REALITY creating, animating and sustaining all of life. "Let there be" begins it all; without it, there is no some-anything.
3. God's will is expressed most fully by a relentless, creative love which has no boundary unless he wills one; love infuses his will.
4. God's will is full of God's counsel and God's provision; wisdom finds and knows its course by God's will.
5. God's will reflects his Lordship over all being animate and inanimate, time and space, seen and unseen, that which is, was, and will be for eternity, before time, and after time, beyond time.
6. God's will is subject only to how he chooses to direct it, as he chooses to direct it, where he chooses to direct it, whenever he chooses to direct it.
7. God's will is true life, genuine liberty and ultimate completion for all who yield their wills to embrace and follow it.We become truly human under its tutelage.
II.
1. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is tragic blindness.
2. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is a fool's errand masquerading as free self-determination.
3. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is trusting the present, immediate or future to one's perception and understanding of what is and what will turn out, i.e., naive faith in chance, being in control, or being a good person so good things must happen.
4. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is cutting oneself from a parachute and assuming you'll figure out how to fly in due time.
5. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is following enticing delusion which ultimately kills the ability for true being.
6. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere is much ado about nothing or no ado toward what matters most.
7. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere can never satisfy the deepest longings of the heart, the noble quest for what yields enduring significance, or the intended meaning for why a person lived at all.
8. Walking out of God's will and walking into nowhere becomes a slow, imperceptible death leading to existential and final NOWHERE.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Enveloped By An Abiding Interior Stillness.
If you've ever spent time high in the mountains, deep in the forest,
far into one of the great deserts, or alone on the ocean, you'll know a bit of the experience I'm about to
relate. Another way you could have learned of such an experience might
have come from reading the writings of Christian mystics, pilgrims or
monastics; anyone who has spent a lifetime of deep, persisting prayer.
Or perhaps you've made it a spiritual discipline to go regularly on
retreat - not the prevailing evangelical version of teaching sessions
and recreation - dedicated to prayer, listening, reflection and
discernment. By any of these means you might likely have encountered the
stillness I did this past weekend.
Tricia and I had another opportunity to head back to the Center For Renewal in Simsbury, CT last weekend. We had the privilege of leading a woman who'd been on a number of our Listening in Christ Immersion Retreats. They've met something special to her since the first time a few years ago.
Tricia and I are not on retreat when we lead one of these; we're there to work, but invariably, Jesus has something for us as well. Often, he engages her and me when the retreatant is out for an extended time of quiet listening and prayer based on spiritual direction conversations we'd have with them over what God was doing in their times away him, as well as how he directs us to direct her. We also take the time to seek him in listening and reflection.
This time I experienced something fascinating, and to my recall, had never been as pronounced; either that, or I just didn't have the ability to notice prior. It was an abiding sense of internal spiritual stillness. By that I mean my spirit was at rest deeply while I was up and about. There was very little internal dissonance, or restlessness. I noticed I was still and very calm inside as if all was well, and all would be well. My heart and soul were quiet, even centered, or balanced with no measurable equanimity. I was there and God was present. The day's rhythm was easy and flowing without any forced effort on our parts. We certainly worked, but not rushed. Each chapter of the day unfolded quietly as if each was meant to be there and someone else was writing it.
The experience just felt good and fitting for the setting. The stillness enveloped us as a Presence: loving kind, safe and pleasant. I felt as if a gentle "atmosphere" of calm pervaded, but again. it was as if we were in the presence of Someone who knew us and gave us this time and space to soak in. Remember, it was subtle and unobtrusive, but there unmistakably.
It reminded me of the verse: "deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls" from Psalm 42, but it was more like, "deep calls to deep from the stillness of your welcoming Presence." From such interior stillness came all sorts of freedom for me to listen and hear the still, small voice of the Spirit. I recognized that living on Main Street in Northampton with it's incessant noise of community (not all bad) about us 20 hours per day never gives me the sense of being enveloped in an abiding interior stillness; an interior clanging jangle is often more like it! I know Jesus is here in Noho too, but it seems to me the CFR Retreat House, and surrounding property, if not already close to being what Celtic Christians refer to as "thin places"; places where it is believed the veil between heaven and earth is "thinner" and the presence of Spirit is palpable, is already a thin place. Because the grounds have been dedicated to listening, praying, seeking after Jesus, and healing, and the people in the church have spent many hours in prayer over the decades,or helping others do so, it feels "set apart" for such purposes and those who come for a time are met there in spiritually refreshing and revealing ways.
So I'd loved to be enveloped in such a deep and abiding interior stillness all day, every day. The reality of it transforms how I am. Also, it would serve as balm in the midst of the discord and stress I experience (some of it brought by my own brokenness). Interior stillness abiding brings consolation in which I experience and freedom, creativity, a refreshing lightness of being, and an ability to love far beyond my natural inclining. Perhaps God will grant this gift to me as I finish my days here or wherever. I'd like that very much, and would be widely grateful for such kindness and love from him.
Tricia and I had another opportunity to head back to the Center For Renewal in Simsbury, CT last weekend. We had the privilege of leading a woman who'd been on a number of our Listening in Christ Immersion Retreats. They've met something special to her since the first time a few years ago.
Tricia and I are not on retreat when we lead one of these; we're there to work, but invariably, Jesus has something for us as well. Often, he engages her and me when the retreatant is out for an extended time of quiet listening and prayer based on spiritual direction conversations we'd have with them over what God was doing in their times away him, as well as how he directs us to direct her. We also take the time to seek him in listening and reflection.
This time I experienced something fascinating, and to my recall, had never been as pronounced; either that, or I just didn't have the ability to notice prior. It was an abiding sense of internal spiritual stillness. By that I mean my spirit was at rest deeply while I was up and about. There was very little internal dissonance, or restlessness. I noticed I was still and very calm inside as if all was well, and all would be well. My heart and soul were quiet, even centered, or balanced with no measurable equanimity. I was there and God was present. The day's rhythm was easy and flowing without any forced effort on our parts. We certainly worked, but not rushed. Each chapter of the day unfolded quietly as if each was meant to be there and someone else was writing it.
The experience just felt good and fitting for the setting. The stillness enveloped us as a Presence: loving kind, safe and pleasant. I felt as if a gentle "atmosphere" of calm pervaded, but again. it was as if we were in the presence of Someone who knew us and gave us this time and space to soak in. Remember, it was subtle and unobtrusive, but there unmistakably.
It reminded me of the verse: "deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls" from Psalm 42, but it was more like, "deep calls to deep from the stillness of your welcoming Presence." From such interior stillness came all sorts of freedom for me to listen and hear the still, small voice of the Spirit. I recognized that living on Main Street in Northampton with it's incessant noise of community (not all bad) about us 20 hours per day never gives me the sense of being enveloped in an abiding interior stillness; an interior clanging jangle is often more like it! I know Jesus is here in Noho too, but it seems to me the CFR Retreat House, and surrounding property, if not already close to being what Celtic Christians refer to as "thin places"; places where it is believed the veil between heaven and earth is "thinner" and the presence of Spirit is palpable, is already a thin place. Because the grounds have been dedicated to listening, praying, seeking after Jesus, and healing, and the people in the church have spent many hours in prayer over the decades,or helping others do so, it feels "set apart" for such purposes and those who come for a time are met there in spiritually refreshing and revealing ways.
So I'd loved to be enveloped in such a deep and abiding interior stillness all day, every day. The reality of it transforms how I am. Also, it would serve as balm in the midst of the discord and stress I experience (some of it brought by my own brokenness). Interior stillness abiding brings consolation in which I experience and freedom, creativity, a refreshing lightness of being, and an ability to love far beyond my natural inclining. Perhaps God will grant this gift to me as I finish my days here or wherever. I'd like that very much, and would be widely grateful for such kindness and love from him.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Separated Together: Thoughts From A Boardwalk Pericope.
I live in the small city of Northampton, Massachusetts, Noho prides itself on it's diversity and progressive sensibilities. So I see all manner of people on Main Street. When I lived at the Center For Renewal in Simsbury, Connecticut the culture in which I was embedded was substantially more homogeneous; Noho's heterogeneity took a bit of getting used to mostly because the folks I spent most of my time with were very much like me. After five years, I've gotten very used to the Paradise City's people; those living there for many years, or living there for a time (such as students at Smith), or just passing through.
For most summers of my married life which just happens to be a little less than 2/3rds of my life so far, we've vacationed in Ventnor, New Jersey at the summer home of Tricia's family just a block away from the Boardwalk and beach. In fact, our kids remember it more than any other summer vacation spot we visited, although there weren't that many.
My purpose for writing relates to an experience Tricia and I had on our the late afternoon walk heading north to Atlantic City. Depending which direction you take and how far you want to go, the walk can be anywhere from 2 miles to 10 miles round-trip. We decided to go to up to the Boat Mall in AC, a round-trip of 4.5 miles. It's a trek we've made daily for years.
As we got nearer AC proper the number of people increased. We weren't sure if there'd be a crowd because it was the end of the 4th of July weekend when many weekenders head home after a final day at the beach.When we got to the first casino there was quite a crowd and the diversity was a melting pot of humanity. There were black folks (many from AC), white folks (casino patrons or walkers up from Ventnor and Margate), Latinos from Mexico, Central and South America, Asians from Korea, Vietnam, Japan and China) and Arabs, the men wearing white caps called taqiyahs, and the women wearing scarfs or hajibs. They gathered in families, couples, singles, groups of teens, old people, gays and straights, poor and wealthy, addicts, street performers, police and casino workers.
You could hear more than one language being spoken openly as people strolled on the Boardwalk together. There were street performers, one of them playing Jesus Loves Me on tenor saxophone, people sitting at outdoor restaurants on the Boardwalk, or at outdoor bars on the beach. Some, like us, were strolling through the results of a sandcastle competition; others were coming onto the Boardwalk from the AC Beach still in bathing suits, and with dripping kids in tow. There were people everywhere.
I take note of it first because in my view was a Sunday afternoon melting pot snapshot of humanity. Everyone there sharing a common space and experience. It felt a little like bazaar scenes I've seen in movies. I know such scenes go on all over the world, but I was struck in the moment at God's creation of peoples, cultures, languages, and traditions. I was also struck that we were together in proximity, but far apart from relating to one another other than walking the same Boardwalk. We all kept to ourselves and what we were doing. We were separate together.
I realize it's a common experience to gather in places for an event or stroll, and not really engage people other than who you're with. For some reason it just stood out to me to me our different cultures mixed together with little or no interacting beyond a look, if that. And we are separated by more than just proximity or race. For instance, pundits and commentators have observed it's becoming more common for immigrants in the US to speak their native language here as much, or more than English (if they learn it at all). I've experienced seeing that too. When it happens, we it feels to me become another degree separated; I don't know what you're saying, nor you me. We can't really connect in any substantial way even if we wanted.
So we gradually settle further into being strangers together. Conversely, being able to talk and share points of view builds a bridge between people. Yeah, I know we're becoming more contentious and distrusting as we navigate through really tough times of emotionally strong and competing worldviews, but unless we find and share a common language through which we can hear one another's hearts, we're in deep trouble. Not talking honestly and listening well works to foment untested suspicion and foolhardy anger. They naturally build on themselves through hearsay, even willful deceit.
Perhaps I wouldn't have noticed the separation so much except for the fact I'm taking more notice of the deepening social divisions (and anger) occurring in our country. I'm more troubled by it than ever before. Our widening socioeconomic inequities fueling some of this are real. But our American culture seems to be coarsening, in general. You know I lived as a participant through the socio-political turmoil of the 60's, but I now view much of that era as the opening of a social Pandora's Box resulting in horrors. I know that's a strong statement, but for decades I've had to pick up the pieces of lives shattered by the drug culture, sexual "freedom," the unholy trinity of "me, myself and I,"and the dreary entitlement ethos. There's a dark side to what's occurring as we divide more and more over morality, politics, race, and rights. Something quite menacing is afoot.
At the same time, I think the churches of the missional way have extraordinary opportunities to cross divides as peacemakers, ambassadors for civility, and champions of the Gospel of True Freedom and Community. We should avoid any impulse to bury our heads in our sub-cultures so that we fail to be what Christ summons us to. Hatred and self-absorbed ignorance will grow like a cancer if we remain sequestered in our safe zones merely content to pray, sing, and be fed by bible study and Sunday worship. What if we started being courageous citizens of the Kingdom who are also gracious servant citizens of our neighborhoods, schools and workplaces? And what if we crossed the divide to where the chronic poor and broken among us stay ghettoed downtown or a few blocks over? Could we break down walls and weaken the separation with kindness, compassion, and understanding?
Shouldn't we? If not the Church and other like-minded servant hearts, then who?
For most summers of my married life which just happens to be a little less than 2/3rds of my life so far, we've vacationed in Ventnor, New Jersey at the summer home of Tricia's family just a block away from the Boardwalk and beach. In fact, our kids remember it more than any other summer vacation spot we visited, although there weren't that many.
My purpose for writing relates to an experience Tricia and I had on our the late afternoon walk heading north to Atlantic City. Depending which direction you take and how far you want to go, the walk can be anywhere from 2 miles to 10 miles round-trip. We decided to go to up to the Boat Mall in AC, a round-trip of 4.5 miles. It's a trek we've made daily for years.
As we got nearer AC proper the number of people increased. We weren't sure if there'd be a crowd because it was the end of the 4th of July weekend when many weekenders head home after a final day at the beach.When we got to the first casino there was quite a crowd and the diversity was a melting pot of humanity. There were black folks (many from AC), white folks (casino patrons or walkers up from Ventnor and Margate), Latinos from Mexico, Central and South America, Asians from Korea, Vietnam, Japan and China) and Arabs, the men wearing white caps called taqiyahs, and the women wearing scarfs or hajibs. They gathered in families, couples, singles, groups of teens, old people, gays and straights, poor and wealthy, addicts, street performers, police and casino workers.
You could hear more than one language being spoken openly as people strolled on the Boardwalk together. There were street performers, one of them playing Jesus Loves Me on tenor saxophone, people sitting at outdoor restaurants on the Boardwalk, or at outdoor bars on the beach. Some, like us, were strolling through the results of a sandcastle competition; others were coming onto the Boardwalk from the AC Beach still in bathing suits, and with dripping kids in tow. There were people everywhere.
I take note of it first because in my view was a Sunday afternoon melting pot snapshot of humanity. Everyone there sharing a common space and experience. It felt a little like bazaar scenes I've seen in movies. I know such scenes go on all over the world, but I was struck in the moment at God's creation of peoples, cultures, languages, and traditions. I was also struck that we were together in proximity, but far apart from relating to one another other than walking the same Boardwalk. We all kept to ourselves and what we were doing. We were separate together.
I realize it's a common experience to gather in places for an event or stroll, and not really engage people other than who you're with. For some reason it just stood out to me to me our different cultures mixed together with little or no interacting beyond a look, if that. And we are separated by more than just proximity or race. For instance, pundits and commentators have observed it's becoming more common for immigrants in the US to speak their native language here as much, or more than English (if they learn it at all). I've experienced seeing that too. When it happens, we it feels to me become another degree separated; I don't know what you're saying, nor you me. We can't really connect in any substantial way even if we wanted.
So we gradually settle further into being strangers together. Conversely, being able to talk and share points of view builds a bridge between people. Yeah, I know we're becoming more contentious and distrusting as we navigate through really tough times of emotionally strong and competing worldviews, but unless we find and share a common language through which we can hear one another's hearts, we're in deep trouble. Not talking honestly and listening well works to foment untested suspicion and foolhardy anger. They naturally build on themselves through hearsay, even willful deceit.
Perhaps I wouldn't have noticed the separation so much except for the fact I'm taking more notice of the deepening social divisions (and anger) occurring in our country. I'm more troubled by it than ever before. Our widening socioeconomic inequities fueling some of this are real. But our American culture seems to be coarsening, in general. You know I lived as a participant through the socio-political turmoil of the 60's, but I now view much of that era as the opening of a social Pandora's Box resulting in horrors. I know that's a strong statement, but for decades I've had to pick up the pieces of lives shattered by the drug culture, sexual "freedom," the unholy trinity of "me, myself and I,"and the dreary entitlement ethos. There's a dark side to what's occurring as we divide more and more over morality, politics, race, and rights. Something quite menacing is afoot.
At the same time, I think the churches of the missional way have extraordinary opportunities to cross divides as peacemakers, ambassadors for civility, and champions of the Gospel of True Freedom and Community. We should avoid any impulse to bury our heads in our sub-cultures so that we fail to be what Christ summons us to. Hatred and self-absorbed ignorance will grow like a cancer if we remain sequestered in our safe zones merely content to pray, sing, and be fed by bible study and Sunday worship. What if we started being courageous citizens of the Kingdom who are also gracious servant citizens of our neighborhoods, schools and workplaces? And what if we crossed the divide to where the chronic poor and broken among us stay ghettoed downtown or a few blocks over? Could we break down walls and weaken the separation with kindness, compassion, and understanding?
Shouldn't we? If not the Church and other like-minded servant hearts, then who?
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Thoughts On A Spiritual Discipline of Gardening.
While on vacation in Ventnor this week I've been given a second and unexpected opportunity to do more gardening. The first opportunity has been helping care for the first imagine plot at the Community Garden in Florence. In that garden, the idea of growing food for needy folks who most likely will not be able to put much fresh, organic produce on their table is a pure blessing to me. I just feel good being able to play a small role in that this summer.
The small flower and ornamental gardens around Tricia's mother's summer house in Ventnor gives me another blessing, but for different reasons. Let me step back a bit. I've mentioned before Tricia planted and cultivated 6 gardens at the Center For Renewal Retreat House over our 20 years there. She loved to design and plant them. She's never more alive than when doing so. She'd do some initial prep and weeding each spring with others at the all-church workday when it was time to get them ready, but I loved the job of weeding the plots throughout the summer. The task was a contemplative activity for me: maintaining the intended design established from the placement of plants, and retarding the chaos possible from weeds taking over as is their maddening way.
When we arrived here in Ventnor a few days ago, we noticed some of the front-step flower boxes were overgrowing, and the perennials in the north and east plots next to the house were going to seed. The worst issue to address was a wild rosebush overtaking a tree in the back of the house and actually choking out its life slowly, but surely. So there was maintenance gardening to do. Right up my alley!
I began Wednesday morning by clearing out and trimming the front-step flower pots, getting rid of rotting deadfall underneath the plants, and trimming overgrown shoots to create order and spur growth. Then, I cut back all the spent flower stalks, pinched back spent flowers on plants still producing flowers, including rose bushes, pulled some weeds, and began to attack the rogue rosebush in the back. As it turns out, that'll be a two-day job as we need to get to the root. Roses fight back as well, so care was needed.
As I reflected on Wednesday's task I realized if I looked at it a certain way, the work brings me to a contemplative place. Restoring order by removing weeds, and deadfall, and trimming plants so they're healthy and show forth their individual character and beauty has a deep peace to it. As I worked, I'm quiet internally. Within the internal quiet and peace, I'm also focused. I notice design and can see where the design is being pushed out of balance or obscuring internal harmony because its becoming misshapen by invading plants, or spent flowers and dead leaves. To restore shape and order is enlivening and brings a spacious well-being. Balance, harmony and right shape (fittingness) are regained in the plant and where its located with other plants or bushes. The garden "community of living things" is clean, not cluttered; visually consonant, not discordant; elegant not chaotic.
To spend time gardening can be a vibrant spiritual discipline. Simply defined spiritual disciplines for the Christian: "are not the desired end product of spiritual life but rather they are a means to an end. They are the intentional development of authentic spiritual life and intimacy with God."
www.authenticdiscipleship.org/ They provide ways to connect with the Holy Spirit and be open to his transforming work that we might learn to think and act like Jesus. They help draw our hearts and minds toward Christ who is our life and purpose if we say we are his followers. We learn to see, hear and know him intimately. He becomes "Christ with us (me)," because we've come to notice his presence in the ordinary and the special. He becomes more than an idea or an "unseen hand."
An example of a simple spiritual discipline would be while working in a garden, take time to look, reflect on and pray from what is being created, developed, nurtured, maintained, and then set to rest until next season. Notice how each stage of the gardening process can point to realities of the spiritual life in Christ. Every step of the way might reveal spiritual equivalents. Or think about how the Holy Spirit has worked to "fertilize" and "prune" you over the years that you can become spiritually mature and fruitful.
Contemplating eternal themes of birth and rebirth, death and resurrection come to the forefront. Looking deep into the heart of our Triune God Who Creates and Sustains springs from seeing the seed grow to the plant which produces the fruit and then dies to fertilize the soil. All it takes is the ability to notice, to pay attention to what God reveals in each step of the gardening.
I became aware later that cutting through the entwined clutter, especially the overgrown rosebush, hearkened to how God often needed to cut away much that entangled my heart and deadened my growth toward him. Sin and self-love choke the redeemed heart's yielding resonance for God. All sorts attitudes, thoughts and behaviors had to be pruned over the years, and I'm not near finished yet.
As Tricia and I cut through the thick tangle, carefully avoiding the plentiful thorns guarding each branch, we could see how much of the bush had been withered because the sun did not reach lower branches.God's nurturing light was blocked by the aggressive intruder lusting for all the light. Similarly, assiduously practicing the spiritual disciplines cuts through our clutter and opens us to God's heart, God's truth, and God's ways as he steadily conforms (including pruning) us to his image in the midst of sin's lusting for dominance. If we learn the discerning way, we yield to the Lord of Life by seeking him in the disciplines, and he responds full of grace and love by deftly shaping us toward holiness.
As soon as the day after we pruned, we were delighted to see the redeemed bush seeming to stand taller in the sunlight with a vitality that had been all but obscured by the interloper. It just looked different, more alive in the full light; freer without having to carry the load of the overwhelming tangle draped over it.
This summer has had two unforeseen re-introductions to gardening for me. This summer God also invited me to go further into practicing the spiritual disciplines which cause my heart to resonate with him. My experience with planting a church has more than once crowded out what once was the normal Christian spiritual life for me. I'm pretty sure he wants me to marry the two in a way I haven't. I'm a contemplative at heart who happens to have experience being a church planter. I can see how the two work together to create depth and breadth. I want both.
In sum, a spiritual discipline of gardening is a doorway into understanding the Master Gardener. The physical tasks and materials of gardening offer rich meaning around the necessary cycles of the spiritual life for followers of Jesus seeking to know and follow him more closely. Gardening can be both physical and contemplative: real soil, real potential; real seed; real fruit; real life, death and rebirth; real redemption and restoration; real preparation and harvest; real sacrifice and salvation: real feeding the people and replenishing the soil; real reverence and feasting.
The small flower and ornamental gardens around Tricia's mother's summer house in Ventnor gives me another blessing, but for different reasons. Let me step back a bit. I've mentioned before Tricia planted and cultivated 6 gardens at the Center For Renewal Retreat House over our 20 years there. She loved to design and plant them. She's never more alive than when doing so. She'd do some initial prep and weeding each spring with others at the all-church workday when it was time to get them ready, but I loved the job of weeding the plots throughout the summer. The task was a contemplative activity for me: maintaining the intended design established from the placement of plants, and retarding the chaos possible from weeds taking over as is their maddening way.
When we arrived here in Ventnor a few days ago, we noticed some of the front-step flower boxes were overgrowing, and the perennials in the north and east plots next to the house were going to seed. The worst issue to address was a wild rosebush overtaking a tree in the back of the house and actually choking out its life slowly, but surely. So there was maintenance gardening to do. Right up my alley!
I began Wednesday morning by clearing out and trimming the front-step flower pots, getting rid of rotting deadfall underneath the plants, and trimming overgrown shoots to create order and spur growth. Then, I cut back all the spent flower stalks, pinched back spent flowers on plants still producing flowers, including rose bushes, pulled some weeds, and began to attack the rogue rosebush in the back. As it turns out, that'll be a two-day job as we need to get to the root. Roses fight back as well, so care was needed.
As I reflected on Wednesday's task I realized if I looked at it a certain way, the work brings me to a contemplative place. Restoring order by removing weeds, and deadfall, and trimming plants so they're healthy and show forth their individual character and beauty has a deep peace to it. As I worked, I'm quiet internally. Within the internal quiet and peace, I'm also focused. I notice design and can see where the design is being pushed out of balance or obscuring internal harmony because its becoming misshapen by invading plants, or spent flowers and dead leaves. To restore shape and order is enlivening and brings a spacious well-being. Balance, harmony and right shape (fittingness) are regained in the plant and where its located with other plants or bushes. The garden "community of living things" is clean, not cluttered; visually consonant, not discordant; elegant not chaotic.
To spend time gardening can be a vibrant spiritual discipline. Simply defined spiritual disciplines for the Christian: "are not the desired end product of spiritual life but rather they are a means to an end. They are the intentional development of authentic spiritual life and intimacy with God."
www.authenticdiscipleship.org/ They provide ways to connect with the Holy Spirit and be open to his transforming work that we might learn to think and act like Jesus. They help draw our hearts and minds toward Christ who is our life and purpose if we say we are his followers. We learn to see, hear and know him intimately. He becomes "Christ with us (me)," because we've come to notice his presence in the ordinary and the special. He becomes more than an idea or an "unseen hand."
An example of a simple spiritual discipline would be while working in a garden, take time to look, reflect on and pray from what is being created, developed, nurtured, maintained, and then set to rest until next season. Notice how each stage of the gardening process can point to realities of the spiritual life in Christ. Every step of the way might reveal spiritual equivalents. Or think about how the Holy Spirit has worked to "fertilize" and "prune" you over the years that you can become spiritually mature and fruitful.
Contemplating eternal themes of birth and rebirth, death and resurrection come to the forefront. Looking deep into the heart of our Triune God Who Creates and Sustains springs from seeing the seed grow to the plant which produces the fruit and then dies to fertilize the soil. All it takes is the ability to notice, to pay attention to what God reveals in each step of the gardening.
I became aware later that cutting through the entwined clutter, especially the overgrown rosebush, hearkened to how God often needed to cut away much that entangled my heart and deadened my growth toward him. Sin and self-love choke the redeemed heart's yielding resonance for God. All sorts attitudes, thoughts and behaviors had to be pruned over the years, and I'm not near finished yet.
As Tricia and I cut through the thick tangle, carefully avoiding the plentiful thorns guarding each branch, we could see how much of the bush had been withered because the sun did not reach lower branches.God's nurturing light was blocked by the aggressive intruder lusting for all the light. Similarly, assiduously practicing the spiritual disciplines cuts through our clutter and opens us to God's heart, God's truth, and God's ways as he steadily conforms (including pruning) us to his image in the midst of sin's lusting for dominance. If we learn the discerning way, we yield to the Lord of Life by seeking him in the disciplines, and he responds full of grace and love by deftly shaping us toward holiness.
As soon as the day after we pruned, we were delighted to see the redeemed bush seeming to stand taller in the sunlight with a vitality that had been all but obscured by the interloper. It just looked different, more alive in the full light; freer without having to carry the load of the overwhelming tangle draped over it.
This summer has had two unforeseen re-introductions to gardening for me. This summer God also invited me to go further into practicing the spiritual disciplines which cause my heart to resonate with him. My experience with planting a church has more than once crowded out what once was the normal Christian spiritual life for me. I'm pretty sure he wants me to marry the two in a way I haven't. I'm a contemplative at heart who happens to have experience being a church planter. I can see how the two work together to create depth and breadth. I want both.
In sum, a spiritual discipline of gardening is a doorway into understanding the Master Gardener. The physical tasks and materials of gardening offer rich meaning around the necessary cycles of the spiritual life for followers of Jesus seeking to know and follow him more closely. Gardening can be both physical and contemplative: real soil, real potential; real seed; real fruit; real life, death and rebirth; real redemption and restoration; real preparation and harvest; real sacrifice and salvation: real feeding the people and replenishing the soil; real reverence and feasting.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Encountering Two Men Of God
The first man is in his 40's. It happened this week. His build is stocky. He has a brilliant smile which lights his face. He tears up often, but laughs heartily just as often. There's an ease about him which invites approach and conversation. No guile appears in his demeanor or carriage. If you spied him on the street nothing remarkable would detain your eye.
I met him recently and heard his story. After our meeting I was struck by the palpable reality I'd been in the presence of a man of God. If I told him that's my take after meeting he would've been shocked and uncomfortable. He is humble.
I don't use the term "man of God" often or carelessly. In fact, I'm pretty confident I've only met a few in my lifetime who truly fit the definition I hold. A man of God to me is unself-consciously saturated with the love for God and the love of God for others, especially for sinners, outcasts, the oppressed, the unruly, offensive, and invisible ones. Such a man is overwhelmed with the astounding idea of the love of Jesus "for someone like me." a selfish sinner who needs grace and mercy continually. He is easily and regularly enthralled with the reality that Jesus would do for him what he did. I've also noticed such men are dedicated, and I mean persistently, to the desperate need of everyone to know the Savior Jesus Christ. They somehow grasp the Unseen REAL beyond what most others do, and they take no credit for it. It's just present to them all the time, and very compelling.
In our conversation, we talked of many things and I discovered, because of his love for God and for people, he spends much of his day as he goes about his business watching and praying. It's normal to him. He notices people and talked about a gift of discernment where if he engages someone, which he does even at his work (especially the difficult folks), he sees something about who they are including what's troubling them. He's not afraid to stop what he's doing and goes right up to the person to introduce himself. He said that often in minutes the person is either in tears and telling him, a stranger, of deep pain, or is opening to the Gospel. When he told me each story he'd laugh, slap his leg, or cry, and talk of how much he loved the person he was talking to. Remarkably, the place where he works is not Christian, but he's won favor with the owners because the folks who come by love him and show it.
As a man of prayer he'll often pray for the town and for each home or business he passes. Notable to me also is the fact God has placed him where he is doing damage to Satan's strongholds. He is helping free captives of darkness. He said he's just drawn to such people. He's not afraid of anyone and will engage them no matter. Because of that he encounters substantial and increasing spiritual warfare. He knows he's in a fight, but the gift of salvation he's been given in Jesus compels him to go after folks spiritually blind and chronically adrift. He wants the lost, found and liberated.
Near the end of our conversation, he began to sob as he talked of the state of the church in America, especially the intolerance he sees coming from churches which would never reach out to certain categories of sinners. With tears streaming from his eyes, he blurted out "I just love those people so much and they need to know God loves them too.Why is the church doing this?" It was naked and powerful, coming from deep inside a transformed heart full of grace and love. The unadorned honesty was stunning to me. When he left, I knew immediately I'd been in the presence of a man of God. There was no mistaking it.
I hope to see him again. My soul is lifted and my is heart refreshed in such unexpected encounters.They inspire me to pray for the charity and freedom he has to love others no matter who they are, or if they respond or not. Also, the passionate love for and loyalty to God he radiates with no guile moves me to change and free up too. If you think about it, pray Jesus would be so kind to grant me such passion and liberation.
I met him recently and heard his story. After our meeting I was struck by the palpable reality I'd been in the presence of a man of God. If I told him that's my take after meeting he would've been shocked and uncomfortable. He is humble.
I don't use the term "man of God" often or carelessly. In fact, I'm pretty confident I've only met a few in my lifetime who truly fit the definition I hold. A man of God to me is unself-consciously saturated with the love for God and the love of God for others, especially for sinners, outcasts, the oppressed, the unruly, offensive, and invisible ones. Such a man is overwhelmed with the astounding idea of the love of Jesus "for someone like me." a selfish sinner who needs grace and mercy continually. He is easily and regularly enthralled with the reality that Jesus would do for him what he did. I've also noticed such men are dedicated, and I mean persistently, to the desperate need of everyone to know the Savior Jesus Christ. They somehow grasp the Unseen REAL beyond what most others do, and they take no credit for it. It's just present to them all the time, and very compelling.
In our conversation, we talked of many things and I discovered, because of his love for God and for people, he spends much of his day as he goes about his business watching and praying. It's normal to him. He notices people and talked about a gift of discernment where if he engages someone, which he does even at his work (especially the difficult folks), he sees something about who they are including what's troubling them. He's not afraid to stop what he's doing and goes right up to the person to introduce himself. He said that often in minutes the person is either in tears and telling him, a stranger, of deep pain, or is opening to the Gospel. When he told me each story he'd laugh, slap his leg, or cry, and talk of how much he loved the person he was talking to. Remarkably, the place where he works is not Christian, but he's won favor with the owners because the folks who come by love him and show it.
As a man of prayer he'll often pray for the town and for each home or business he passes. Notable to me also is the fact God has placed him where he is doing damage to Satan's strongholds. He is helping free captives of darkness. He said he's just drawn to such people. He's not afraid of anyone and will engage them no matter. Because of that he encounters substantial and increasing spiritual warfare. He knows he's in a fight, but the gift of salvation he's been given in Jesus compels him to go after folks spiritually blind and chronically adrift. He wants the lost, found and liberated.
Near the end of our conversation, he began to sob as he talked of the state of the church in America, especially the intolerance he sees coming from churches which would never reach out to certain categories of sinners. With tears streaming from his eyes, he blurted out "I just love those people so much and they need to know God loves them too.Why is the church doing this?" It was naked and powerful, coming from deep inside a transformed heart full of grace and love. The unadorned honesty was stunning to me. When he left, I knew immediately I'd been in the presence of a man of God. There was no mistaking it.
I hope to see him again. My soul is lifted and my is heart refreshed in such unexpected encounters.They inspire me to pray for the charity and freedom he has to love others no matter who they are, or if they respond or not. Also, the passionate love for and loyalty to God he radiates with no guile moves me to change and free up too. If you think about it, pray Jesus would be so kind to grant me such passion and liberation.
*****
The second encounter with a man of God came to mind as I thought about writing this post. It was precipitated by the fact he recently went home to God. I haven't seen him in at least 15 years, maybe more. I met him in Connecticut as we were part of a new member's small group at church. I heard of his passing from a member of his family.
This man was also a man of God to me because, although he had a very different personality than the man above, he had the same uncompromising and persistent love for God with the fire to make him known to others, especially non-believers. The difference between him and the man I just wrote about is he had a very difficult personality which could be easily off-putting to folks, especially his Christian brethren. He told it like he saw it, often without filtering, or considering how it might be received. More than once, folks would get mad at him or remove themselves from his company.
What drew me to him was his unabashed love of Christ and the Gospel. This man had struggled with a very serious addiction and knew God had helped him overcome it. His dedication to Christ who delivered him was deep and tenacious.He was what has been termed a "true believer." He lived and breathed it every day as his prime directive.
For me, with a few notable exceptions, most of the Christians I was around didn't manifest the same raging fire in their bellies for Jesus, or a driving passion to open others to him, especially for the outcasts and chronically troubled ones in our midst. My brother's difficult personalty enabled him to get below deflecting BS from folks used to lying or posing to maintain their destructive lifestyle. His love was fierce, unsentimental and aimed at confronting the powers of evil which kept people entrapped in their own dangerous delusions. He was a "storm the gates" kinda guy - a "what'er we waitin' for," Kingdom fighter who went after souls others would be afraid of or dismiss as too much trouble. His was a tough love, but a deep and genuine love no less.
My brother is dancing in the courts of the King now. His passion and commitment were like a mirror to me, reflecting my own hesitation and immature, self-absorbed cowardice. I admired him for his authenticity. He challenged, even scared me a little by his example, and I knew he was a man of God because of his sheer dedication and fierce love for Christ. He wasn't a man of tears; he was a man of bull-headed conviction which drove him to be counter-cultural, often going only with his Lord and his drive to seek and liberate the bent and broken. His joy was being in the thick of a rescue mission, down in the dirt, and deep in the struggle. He was saturated with the love of God and knew how far God had reached into his addicted heart to pull him toward true love. He wanted that reality for others and went often to go get them
I don't how many other men of God I'll get to encounter in the days ahead, but hope there will be many more. When I do, I know the Kingdom way is real, the love of God is beautiful beyond containing, and there is no life or worldly pleasure worth pursuing from the depths of our hearts other than being servants of the Most High.
If you have stories of the men or women of God you've had the great pleasure of knowing in your life, send them to me and maybe I'll put them on this blog.
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