I will never forget when I was a young man playing drums in one the first, if not the first touring Christian jazz group, the frustration I felt because the longing I had to see the group attain a larger audience nationally never materialized. My longing was palpable, even physical. It was persistent and strong. It screamed at me sometimes. Other times it just moaned.
Every day when we were off the road, and there were many toward the end, I would wait for news of gigs. I would walk to the band mailbox to check for inquiries about booking a date. I would wait for James, the "famous" one in the group to tell me about a phone call that would open doors. I was miserable most of the time because of the interminable wait and diminishing opportunities over the months.
I have realized over the years that my wiring lends itself to longing especially about what could be, what might be, if only . . . I exhilarate in new beginnings, starting-from-scratch hints of something alive and wonderful, or creating from nothing and seeing new birth. I want to experience the intelligently novel, the startlingly insightful or clever. I want to taste the delight of heaven's freedom and freshness even now. I long for the "you mean it can be this way?" I love being surprised by ingenuity that transports me to a world beyond and awakens my longing for more and deeper and more real.
Longing also hints at justice and making things right too. It is not merely concerned with pleasure and delight. God-breathed longing wants the good and true to prevail. Longing says "I have a dream." If it is aimed at important things it can launch the trajectory of an entire life and save or heal many others.
So when I am most myself, I am longing.
The problem is: so much of life involves waiting and struggling to turn worthwhile longing into reality. Creation is subject to frustration because of sin. Frustration sidles up to longing and gradually saps its life if one is not vigilant and tenacious. Headway is made or thwarted, and often, if headway is painfully slow, longing becomes anemic or eventually abandoned. A vision dies, sometimes even a God-sent one.
I have found beginning new ministry, ala imagine/northampton begins with vigorous longing and dreaming. It's exciting, even intoxicating to a degree. Life abounds in the idea and almost overwhelming potential of it all. The vision is grand! But you soon learn you need to keep your feet on the ground because the way forward will be tough, strewn with obstacles, frustrations and rabbit-trails galore . . . or just plain waiting to see what God is going to bring into being. Patience will need to be of the one foot in front of the other varieties, and it will feel sometimes like climbing that last 100 feet of Mount Everest with little strength and oxygen left.
In founding at least 5 new ministries, I have seen that for energizing longing to prevail you need a "one-day-at-a-time" perspective.You keep the longing simmering by patient persistence, not expecting too much progress, but not despairing of any either. You notice the steps forward, no matter how small and you expect the progress to be modest, unless God does the unusual. You are in for the duration, and you never stop longing for what could or must be. Gratitude for the smallest openings helps as well.
If the speed forward saps one's longing to trace levels over time he or she will need to take stock with God and let him opt them out or re-fire them.
Ultimately, longing turns dreams into reality when the person entrusted with God-sized longings never lets the progress of today sap the promise of many tomorrows lived in " a long obedience in the same longing of worth." Cheesy, I know, but true.[
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Why We Want to Re-tool Our Worship
Before I explain what I mean by "re-tooling," I should say what I do not mean. I do not mean we will change our worship in a way that it has no identity as worship. It will not morph into something unrecognizable. We will not try to make it merely an expression of cultural hipness or relevance to increase our favor with the surrounding community. We will not strip our worship of biblical truth, or present a tamed and impotent god. We will never compromise the essentials of historical, biblical Christian faith to make them more palatable to people. We will be sensitive to those who have no Christian culture, but not at the expense of what God has revealed as the ultimate Real underlying all of life.
The following are my thoughts, not necessarily everyone's on the team.
Re-tooling might mean the following for us:
1. Using music, art, drama and dance that is unfamiliar, might not be "Christian," at all or is neither based on hymns nor contemporary Christian songs. The art forms may be provoking, uncomfortable to look at, or challenging to experience. They will always be about truth, and at the very least, hint at redemption.
2. The worship "service" may not look like what people are used to experiencing: there maybe be no sermon or message, or no music. A group "object-lesson" activity may be the only thing we do when we gather. There may be be just a drama with a reflection, or a presentation with prayer. The entire gathering might be about praying together.
3. We will make more time for interaction, participation and spiritual formation-type reflection. It may be silence and quiet reflection after the message, or a group activity that expresses a concept we are working on as a community.
4. Worship may be liturgical, or spontaneous and free flowing, depending on what God wants to do on a given day.
5. Maybe worship will be about debating an issue of concern to the community and how Christian ethics, morality and principles shed light on it.
6. Some Sundays might be about a service project together in Northampton.
7. We will change the atmosphere of the worship space from time to time to reflect what God is doing. We might add reflection "stations," creative expression labs, and prayer zones.
8. Perhaps it may be an open-to-the-community meal and celebration together.
So we are looking at how we do everything regarding worship. We want freshness and aliveness to be in evidence when we gather. We really want to follow the Holy Spirit into a fresh way of worshiping so people's imaginations are enticed and opened to the God beyond their imagination. If it all becomes so predictable, people eventually tune out and sit there passively. They expect little but predictability. They are satisfied with sameness, but deadened to wonder. Or they become cemented in only one way to worship (the way we do it here), and stay closed to other ways God might be inviting then to enjoy him.
We hate that!
Re-tooling for us is the chance to create worship that will spark people toward following him with vitality and creativity in their lives. It should refresh and refocus them because they find something new and wonderful about God each time they worship him together. It should make them want to bring their friends who want little to do with him or those who say follow him. The "hour on Sunday" should be more than an obligation or a "might was well go." We believe and are searching for how to make it a reality at imagine/northampton.
May the Holy Spirit grant us favor in finding such worship.
Pray for us!
The following are my thoughts, not necessarily everyone's on the team.
Re-tooling might mean the following for us:
1. Using music, art, drama and dance that is unfamiliar, might not be "Christian," at all or is neither based on hymns nor contemporary Christian songs. The art forms may be provoking, uncomfortable to look at, or challenging to experience. They will always be about truth, and at the very least, hint at redemption.
2. The worship "service" may not look like what people are used to experiencing: there maybe be no sermon or message, or no music. A group "object-lesson" activity may be the only thing we do when we gather. There may be be just a drama with a reflection, or a presentation with prayer. The entire gathering might be about praying together.
3. We will make more time for interaction, participation and spiritual formation-type reflection. It may be silence and quiet reflection after the message, or a group activity that expresses a concept we are working on as a community.
4. Worship may be liturgical, or spontaneous and free flowing, depending on what God wants to do on a given day.
5. Maybe worship will be about debating an issue of concern to the community and how Christian ethics, morality and principles shed light on it.
6. Some Sundays might be about a service project together in Northampton.
7. We will change the atmosphere of the worship space from time to time to reflect what God is doing. We might add reflection "stations," creative expression labs, and prayer zones.
8. Perhaps it may be an open-to-the-community meal and celebration together.
So we are looking at how we do everything regarding worship. We want freshness and aliveness to be in evidence when we gather. We really want to follow the Holy Spirit into a fresh way of worshiping so people's imaginations are enticed and opened to the God beyond their imagination. If it all becomes so predictable, people eventually tune out and sit there passively. They expect little but predictability. They are satisfied with sameness, but deadened to wonder. Or they become cemented in only one way to worship (the way we do it here), and stay closed to other ways God might be inviting then to enjoy him.
We hate that!
Re-tooling for us is the chance to create worship that will spark people toward following him with vitality and creativity in their lives. It should refresh and refocus them because they find something new and wonderful about God each time they worship him together. It should make them want to bring their friends who want little to do with him or those who say follow him. The "hour on Sunday" should be more than an obligation or a "might was well go." We believe and are searching for how to make it a reality at imagine/northampton.
May the Holy Spirit grant us favor in finding such worship.
Pray for us!
Notes from imagine/northampton's Very Second Worship
Let's begin with weirdness: the Wednesday previous to our very second worship my back went into serius spasm. Periodically over the years it has done so. The weirdness derived from the day after the worship: it unlocked with little fanfare. The day before, I genuinely feared I would not even be able to show up on Sunday, much less set up and play my drums. Worse still, I would be of little use in schlepping and setting up any of the other pieces to our "travelling roadshow." While much of that turned out true, I was able to play my part no the worse for wear and drawing no attention to myself.. I also received generous help borne of compassion from team members.
What worked/hints of encouragement:
1. While we knew we would have fewer folks the second worship, we had 50+ with some new people.
2. We had more people to set up and take down the stuff (we have to turn an empty space into a worship space, including the imagine kids room). In being able to do so, we then could have adequate time for the worship team to run through the set without pressure and confusion.
3. The music was tighter and better done. The potential of the team was evident. People worshiped even when the style was unfamiliar at times. We controlled the sound problems in the room a bit better.
4. We communicated announcements better.
5. We were able to get people interacting more effectively during the sermon. Jim got them talking.
6. The imagine kids room was less chaotic and there was more help for Karen and Ophelia. They had a ball.
7. The room looked beautiful. We reconfigured the set-up so the worship team was off the stage and in the nearer the people. The seating was in a u-shape and facing west rather than north as the month before. It felt a little more intimate.
8. Tricia's reflection drew people to ponder the coal which touched Isaiah's lips and the nail that pierced Jesus's wrists.
9. The food and hospitality was wonderful.
10. The coordinating of all the pre-worship logistical details was spectacular!
11. Jim's talk was clear and efficient.
12. The team of people and smattering of volunteers (some who even belong to other churches), we have to work with are wonderfully gifted and dedicated!
What still needs improving:
1. The acoustics in the room still need to be controlled better.
2. People must have the chance to participate more, so there is less a spectator worship environment.
3. No one from the town came. There are still 99% Christians in attendance (don't get me wrong, we are grateful they are with us). The "service" still addresses mostly believers and has a "churchy" feel to it. No real innovation is evident. The structure is just like what virtually every church does. More about that in my next blog.
4. We need to get better at "directing traffic" to the Northampton Center for the Arts, including places to park.
5. We need to get the word out to the town more effectively.
6. We need to do the offering more effectively so that people know our real needs.
7. We need better videos to use; perhaps even create our own.
8. The entire service was a half hour too long; we must tighten it.
All in all, I'd give us a C, maybe a C+. Average is ok, but not in line with our core value of excellence. We have a way to go, but there is a growing, solid foundation to work from.
What worked/hints of encouragement:
1. While we knew we would have fewer folks the second worship, we had 50+ with some new people.
2. We had more people to set up and take down the stuff (we have to turn an empty space into a worship space, including the imagine kids room). In being able to do so, we then could have adequate time for the worship team to run through the set without pressure and confusion.
3. The music was tighter and better done. The potential of the team was evident. People worshiped even when the style was unfamiliar at times. We controlled the sound problems in the room a bit better.
4. We communicated announcements better.
5. We were able to get people interacting more effectively during the sermon. Jim got them talking.
6. The imagine kids room was less chaotic and there was more help for Karen and Ophelia. They had a ball.
7. The room looked beautiful. We reconfigured the set-up so the worship team was off the stage and in the nearer the people. The seating was in a u-shape and facing west rather than north as the month before. It felt a little more intimate.
8. Tricia's reflection drew people to ponder the coal which touched Isaiah's lips and the nail that pierced Jesus's wrists.
9. The food and hospitality was wonderful.
10. The coordinating of all the pre-worship logistical details was spectacular!
11. Jim's talk was clear and efficient.
12. The team of people and smattering of volunteers (some who even belong to other churches), we have to work with are wonderfully gifted and dedicated!
What still needs improving:
1. The acoustics in the room still need to be controlled better.
2. People must have the chance to participate more, so there is less a spectator worship environment.
3. No one from the town came. There are still 99% Christians in attendance (don't get me wrong, we are grateful they are with us). The "service" still addresses mostly believers and has a "churchy" feel to it. No real innovation is evident. The structure is just like what virtually every church does. More about that in my next blog.
4. We need to get better at "directing traffic" to the Northampton Center for the Arts, including places to park.
5. We need to get the word out to the town more effectively.
6. We need to do the offering more effectively so that people know our real needs.
7. We need better videos to use; perhaps even create our own.
8. The entire service was a half hour too long; we must tighten it.
__________________________________________
All in all, I'd give us a C, maybe a C+. Average is ok, but not in line with our core value of excellence. We have a way to go, but there is a growing, solid foundation to work from.
Please pray we have the resources, courage, strength, wisdom and humility to actually become imagine/northampton as God sees it . . . nothing more, nothing less.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Reflecting Our Very First Ever Worship
Someone asked me a few days ago why I had not blogged immediately about imagine/northampton's very first worship gathering. Part of my tardiness in the matter had to do with a strong need to recover from the sheer effort and hard work necessary to actually pull it together and pull it off. We knew it would be a mountain of work to be a "traveling roadshow" of sorts, setting up and tearing down everything, but "WOW!" This old man's body sat me down and had a spirited chat with me along the lines of "Do you realize what you're putting me through, cowboy?"
The second reason I didn't put down my thoughts sooner had to do with the tangle of ideas and emotions careening in my head after the event like quanta. It began on the Monday-after with being pulled every which way from, "I have to get new music together for the team to rehearse this Thursday," and reflecting on all sorts of comments people were invited to offer about how the gathering was to them, to "How are we going to solve some of the problems we encountered on Sunday?" There is so much to learn, and so much to get better at. And that's just with the worship piece of imagine/northampton! I felt that weight right away.
Gladly though, I have had time to think about the day and I have a few observations:
1. I can't say enough that even in the "hurry-up" of creating the worship space with the team that morning, I was filled with life at the notion we were actually finally doing worship, and people were gathered. There has always been something very lively to me about getting ready for a public worship event, perhaps its the wait-and-see potential of it all. The energy is infectious and uplifting. The anticipation of how the day will play out captivated my wondering and hope.
2. When the atmosphere was created it looked beautiful and different for a church "service." The ballroom was lovely and light. The tables, centerpieces, and food, and the stage filled with drums, instruments and mics intensified the energy for me. It felt good and right for that day. There was a place for the kids to go and good stuff for them to do around the idea of wonder. They would be engaged (the 20+ of them were, I understand).
When people began to come into the space, many I recognized and some I didn't, I felt the realness of what we were doing differently from other efforts we had made in the mission of imagine. People were gathering with a "come and see" anticipation and seemed engaged from the git. I was amazed people were there at all, frankly. I'm being honest.
Another remarkable part of the day for me was being once again able to help lead worship. Most of you know I had been on the Worship Team at the Barn for 15+ years as a drummer. The last 2.5 years before we moved to Massachusetts I was on the Worship Design Team at the Barn also with many of the same folks now on our current Launch and Leadership Team. Last Sunday, I was finally doing it all again, only this time with a church I was a part of launching. It felt very natural, like being in very familiar surroundings, but now in Northampton and at the very beginning.
An experience not as pleasant was the tension of trying to stay on top of all sorts of set-up details (nowhere near my gift), and last minute logistics needing attention. All kinds of work was getting done by team and imagine group members, but I was still trying to stay on top of musical details, drum equipment details, plus everything else from "are the greeters in place," to "are we going to get all the tech stuff ready before 3?" I was not at all solely responsible for that, but my mind was still racing with everything needing to come together for the gathering to go well, at least with our part of the bargain. I wasn't worried about God.
All in all, the essential minutiae were distracting me from completely savoring what was about to happen. Still there I noticed
MANY WONDERFUL MOMENTS:
It is a wondrous thing to start a church at my age - at any age, I suspect - and a sobering privilege that God uses old guys like me to create and deepen the Kingdom in the lives of people.
I never realized one sunny New Mexico mid-morning when Jesus engulfed a then, 9-10 year old boy in light, overtook me in a flash with astounding joy I had no name for, and let me know that someday I would truly know him, that at 60, I would be launching a church in his Name and for his glory.
Life is a grand and fitting mystery, indeed.
I hope I miss none of it apportioned to me while I'm here.
The second reason I didn't put down my thoughts sooner had to do with the tangle of ideas and emotions careening in my head after the event like quanta. It began on the Monday-after with being pulled every which way from, "I have to get new music together for the team to rehearse this Thursday," and reflecting on all sorts of comments people were invited to offer about how the gathering was to them, to "How are we going to solve some of the problems we encountered on Sunday?" There is so much to learn, and so much to get better at. And that's just with the worship piece of imagine/northampton! I felt that weight right away.
Gladly though, I have had time to think about the day and I have a few observations:
1. I can't say enough that even in the "hurry-up" of creating the worship space with the team that morning, I was filled with life at the notion we were actually finally doing worship, and people were gathered. There has always been something very lively to me about getting ready for a public worship event, perhaps its the wait-and-see potential of it all. The energy is infectious and uplifting. The anticipation of how the day will play out captivated my wondering and hope.
2. When the atmosphere was created it looked beautiful and different for a church "service." The ballroom was lovely and light. The tables, centerpieces, and food, and the stage filled with drums, instruments and mics intensified the energy for me. It felt good and right for that day. There was a place for the kids to go and good stuff for them to do around the idea of wonder. They would be engaged (the 20+ of them were, I understand).
When people began to come into the space, many I recognized and some I didn't, I felt the realness of what we were doing differently from other efforts we had made in the mission of imagine. People were gathering with a "come and see" anticipation and seemed engaged from the git. I was amazed people were there at all, frankly. I'm being honest.
Another remarkable part of the day for me was being once again able to help lead worship. Most of you know I had been on the Worship Team at the Barn for 15+ years as a drummer. The last 2.5 years before we moved to Massachusetts I was on the Worship Design Team at the Barn also with many of the same folks now on our current Launch and Leadership Team. Last Sunday, I was finally doing it all again, only this time with a church I was a part of launching. It felt very natural, like being in very familiar surroundings, but now in Northampton and at the very beginning.
An experience not as pleasant was the tension of trying to stay on top of all sorts of set-up details (nowhere near my gift), and last minute logistics needing attention. All kinds of work was getting done by team and imagine group members, but I was still trying to stay on top of musical details, drum equipment details, plus everything else from "are the greeters in place," to "are we going to get all the tech stuff ready before 3?" I was not at all solely responsible for that, but my mind was still racing with everything needing to come together for the gathering to go well, at least with our part of the bargain. I wasn't worried about God.
All in all, the essential minutiae were distracting me from completely savoring what was about to happen. Still there I noticed
MANY WONDERFUL MOMENTS:
- Seeing people milling about before the worship eating, greeting one another and talking together.
- Seeing the team pull it all together under pressure.
- Having our son, Dan, daughter-in-law Lindsay, and grandchildren Conor and Taylor there with us.
- Watching Jeanne Dubuque make her acting debut in the opening sketch (with very short notice, mind you), and do it well.
- Seeing Tricia do a bang-up job drawing people into reflection after Jim's talk even though her mic was off, and seeing people engaged with the questions she gave them.
- Hearing Jim preach again after almost 2 years. Seeing him in his element ably handling the Word of God for us.
- Hearing Silvana nail the reflection song after Jim's talk.
- Experiencing Maureen's servant heart and can-do spirit as she helped us set it all up and then greet people.
- Watching Karen and her dad set up the imagine Kids room, knowing they would be in great hands. Having Ophelia from Amherst College help with the kids.
- Getting to sit at my set of Gretsch drums behind a group of talented singers and musicians taking our worship maiden voyage together, and despite not having enough time to do a run-through, keeping it together and helping people worship God.
- Getting to hear Jen and Kris play.
- Hearing Mike pull people into worship with the songs he sang lead on.
- Playing with Jim again.
- Seeing Matt Bayne's smiling face at the back of the room knowing he had been substantially ill.
- Knowing a number of pastors were with us to give support
- Having some of our family and guests stay after to help clean up.
- Terrible room acoustics creating tuning issues and making everything sound jangling and boomy on the stage.
- Schlepping bins of stuff up and down the stairs - being rained on and getting soaked.
- Having to go to our storage shed in Hadley before the worship to retrieve a piece of drum equipment I forgot, and the office to get the Proxima I forgot.
- Not having enough time to do an adequate sound check and sketch run-through.
- Not having enough help with the kids (we didn't really know how many we would have.
It is a wondrous thing to start a church at my age - at any age, I suspect - and a sobering privilege that God uses old guys like me to create and deepen the Kingdom in the lives of people.
I never realized one sunny New Mexico mid-morning when Jesus engulfed a then, 9-10 year old boy in light, overtook me in a flash with astounding joy I had no name for, and let me know that someday I would truly know him, that at 60, I would be launching a church in his Name and for his glory.
Life is a grand and fitting mystery, indeed.
I hope I miss none of it apportioned to me while I'm here.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Just Rehearsing . . . Relax.
As I stand on the cusp of crunch week crammed with all manner of logistical details we need to address in order to get ready for imagine/northampton's "very first-ever worship," I am reminded what a pastor-friend said to me recently. He offered wise counsel recognizing we would be caught up with the pressure of getting everything done and having a spectacular "very first-ever" corporate worship next Sunday.
He said it would be helpful to think of our "very-first ever worship," as a rehearsal. "There is always next week," he said, or in our case, next month (until January when we go weekly). Some things will go well and some things will not. We are just taking our first steps, after all. There will be kinks to work out, but it will not be the end of the world - or the end of imagine/northampton - if everything doesn't go according to Hoyle. He also referred to Rick Warren's statement that all our worship is just a rehearsal for the true worship we will be caught up with in heaven.
In other words, it was one big "I know how you feel because I've been there, but really, take it easy." I think he also meant I should enjoy the ride. God is at the helm. God called imagine into being and God will be there this week and next Sunday where the focus is really Him and not us. I know all that, but for some reason this imagine/northampton mission feels there is so much riding on it and I don't want to screw up anything, especially worship.
So I will try to hold crunch week loosely, and I will try to center into Christ each day. And I know there will be all sorts of jangling voices yelling at us to take care of this or that "must get done." Nevertheless, the true life in the week will be him, and oh yeah, he knows the way forward.
If you think of it, pray that all of us on the team will not be overwhelmed, but rather staid on him.
Thanks.
He said it would be helpful to think of our "very-first ever worship," as a rehearsal. "There is always next week," he said, or in our case, next month (until January when we go weekly). Some things will go well and some things will not. We are just taking our first steps, after all. There will be kinks to work out, but it will not be the end of the world - or the end of imagine/northampton - if everything doesn't go according to Hoyle. He also referred to Rick Warren's statement that all our worship is just a rehearsal for the true worship we will be caught up with in heaven.
In other words, it was one big "I know how you feel because I've been there, but really, take it easy." I think he also meant I should enjoy the ride. God is at the helm. God called imagine into being and God will be there this week and next Sunday where the focus is really Him and not us. I know all that, but for some reason this imagine/northampton mission feels there is so much riding on it and I don't want to screw up anything, especially worship.
So I will try to hold crunch week loosely, and I will try to center into Christ each day. And I know there will be all sorts of jangling voices yelling at us to take care of this or that "must get done." Nevertheless, the true life in the week will be him, and oh yeah, he knows the way forward.
If you think of it, pray that all of us on the team will not be overwhelmed, but rather staid on him.
Thanks.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Back to the Drummer in the Tollbooth
Since I last saw my comrade in sticks manning a tollbooth on the Mass Pike a few weeks ago I have not been able to forget him. I keep thinking about his tenacity. He sits for a number of hours handing out tickets which means that during certain periods of his shift he is interrupted constantly by people needing one, and yet, he keeps practicing in the lulls. Drumming is his larger purpose. Staying fit for the art, no matter. Hmmm.
So I have also been thinking about this old man planting a church. How does he (I) stay fit so as to be tenacious in a difficult mission? My interruptions, obstacles and flitterings are many. What does this drummer have to teach me?
First, I think it means never taking my eye off the goal to which I have dedicated myself. "Dedicated" is an important word here. I have decided to give my best to this Kingdom mission, whatever it takes. The goal of planting imagine/northampton is one to which I am dedicating precious years and resources. I must not lose sight of it when the going gets tough, the fear is substantial and discouragement comes for an unwelcome visit. No room for faltering if I am dedicated. My eye must stay fixed on where God is bidding me.
For imagine/northampton to take root, my dedication needs to be fierce and tough. Planting churches is not for the faint of heart or the lightly committed. I am learning such dedication. God help me!
Secondly, I must remain flexible in how I maintain the necessary fitness required. More often than not it will not be convenient to maintain the disciplines and activities best suited to keeping me on course: prayer, routine administration, damage control, making new relationships, studying, searching, listening, writing, ministering, creating concepts, etc. I will have to find my own "tollbooths" to keep "practicing." Sometimes the most unlikely places and situations will be my only option to keep after what is needed. Being flexible opens me to opportunity I would likely overlook because I only saw an obstacle or setback.
Planting imagine/northampton requires I learn a freedom of flexibility uncommon to me. I am not rigid, but God still has work to do in "loosening" me for the mission. I want him to complete this in me. God help me!
Thirdly, I must let my love for God, people, and his glorious Kingdom fuel the drive to stay fit and ready to act regardless. Love sheds self-absorption, laziness and cowardice. Love motivates courage and invention. Love says "yes" when I'd rather say "no, not now." Love gets my butt in the chair, or my feet on the street to engage and work rather than wander in the garden of lesser delights. Love gathers passion toward worthy pursuits. Love also keeps my eye toward eternity and what is needful to be ready for it.
For imagine/northampton to take root I will need such depth of love. All of us on the team will. I want to be that loving. God help me!
Lastly, the drummer in the tollbooth reminded me that a "long obedience in the same direction," should be the prime directive of my heart and will. A will fixed on obeying God gets the job done no matter. I know grace is necessary in all of it, but I can choose to give my will to a myriad of glittering things. A will fixed on obeying what God desires opens the way for serving what matters most. When obeying is proven over a long time, God's Kingdom reign is planted in my life and the lives of others he gives me to serve.
Being made fit to plant imagine/northampton needs me obeying God consistently for days turning into months and flowing into years. I have a long way still to go with this level of obedience I'm afraid. But I desire it. God help me!
So I have also been thinking about this old man planting a church. How does he (I) stay fit so as to be tenacious in a difficult mission? My interruptions, obstacles and flitterings are many. What does this drummer have to teach me?
First, I think it means never taking my eye off the goal to which I have dedicated myself. "Dedicated" is an important word here. I have decided to give my best to this Kingdom mission, whatever it takes. The goal of planting imagine/northampton is one to which I am dedicating precious years and resources. I must not lose sight of it when the going gets tough, the fear is substantial and discouragement comes for an unwelcome visit. No room for faltering if I am dedicated. My eye must stay fixed on where God is bidding me.
For imagine/northampton to take root, my dedication needs to be fierce and tough. Planting churches is not for the faint of heart or the lightly committed. I am learning such dedication. God help me!
Secondly, I must remain flexible in how I maintain the necessary fitness required. More often than not it will not be convenient to maintain the disciplines and activities best suited to keeping me on course: prayer, routine administration, damage control, making new relationships, studying, searching, listening, writing, ministering, creating concepts, etc. I will have to find my own "tollbooths" to keep "practicing." Sometimes the most unlikely places and situations will be my only option to keep after what is needed. Being flexible opens me to opportunity I would likely overlook because I only saw an obstacle or setback.
Planting imagine/northampton requires I learn a freedom of flexibility uncommon to me. I am not rigid, but God still has work to do in "loosening" me for the mission. I want him to complete this in me. God help me!
Thirdly, I must let my love for God, people, and his glorious Kingdom fuel the drive to stay fit and ready to act regardless. Love sheds self-absorption, laziness and cowardice. Love motivates courage and invention. Love says "yes" when I'd rather say "no, not now." Love gets my butt in the chair, or my feet on the street to engage and work rather than wander in the garden of lesser delights. Love gathers passion toward worthy pursuits. Love also keeps my eye toward eternity and what is needful to be ready for it.
For imagine/northampton to take root I will need such depth of love. All of us on the team will. I want to be that loving. God help me!
Lastly, the drummer in the tollbooth reminded me that a "long obedience in the same direction," should be the prime directive of my heart and will. A will fixed on obeying God gets the job done no matter. I know grace is necessary in all of it, but I can choose to give my will to a myriad of glittering things. A will fixed on obeying what God desires opens the way for serving what matters most. When obeying is proven over a long time, God's Kingdom reign is planted in my life and the lives of others he gives me to serve.
Being made fit to plant imagine/northampton needs me obeying God consistently for days turning into months and flowing into years. I have a long way still to go with this level of obedience I'm afraid. But I desire it. God help me!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Pruned to Carry the Weight
A number of years ago a friend with a giant green thumb gave us a Crown of Thorns plant. Those familiar with such plants know they can grow prolifically. Such is the case especially when they are pruned. If you have pruned one you know they "bleed" profusely and immediately a white, milky substance spills from the wound. Pruning necessitates intentional "wounding" to strengthen. and enliven the plant. You are also aware that when you prune them, they come back markedly more healthy and full than before. That's the point.
A few days ago as I was journaling with Jesus, he told me we must be "pruned to carry this (church planting) task or it will crush us." He said he is "making our faith able to carry the weight of this enormous mission." He added that if our "faith is not strong no matter the pressure, (we) will buckle under the weight of this work." I don't know about church planters 35 years younger, but what he said holds very true for us, even in the first year of our mission in Northampton.
Last week I also read an internet article about the "10 'T's' of Church Planting." One of the "T's" was "Trials." The author's point was that as with Paul's thorn suffered in the course of his planting churches around the Mediterranean, church planters will experience many trials, some of them severe. If fact, he said we should expect them, and perhaps for the duration. Hmmm.
Yesterday, I posted a new discussion topic on the imagine/northampton group Facebook page entitled, "How is God "Pruning" You These Days?" In it I listed a series of questions for people to reflect on and write about if they so chose. I think people should invite God's pruning to ensure they are fit for the weight of the mission He wants them to carry (by his grace, and with him, of course).
Here is how I answered two of them:
1. Where is he challenging you to grow especially in faith, trust and selfless love?
Jesus is continually challenging me to trust him with our financial well-being and whether our needs will be met. I am being sorely tested in this area. We have been in ministry for over 20 years, so we know the continual need to trust him here. What seems different is he is requiring a more tenacious trust as he has not provided deep financial resources to the church. Most church planting consultants would say we might be dangerously underfunded. Nevertheless, he has met our need as we have it, but not until it is required to be met.
Such tenacity requires a more vigorous and stubborn faith. He is challenging me there with "Will you believe I will care for you right up to the precipice where it all looks like it will be a disaster if something doesn't happen and right away?" Not easy, I will tell you and we are seasoned veterans. I still have more to learn here as well, especially about the freedom to keep stayed on him when the pressure rises and the fear tries to settle in.
Thirdly, God continues to show me the depth of my selfishness and attention to the unholy trinity: me, myself and I. I relish inordinately the freedom to do as I please when I please. I can be a wanderer if I am not careful. I seem to like serving me. I am a repeat customer.
I need to shun self with a passion.
To the contrary, he wants me to be more available for his use no matter if it is inconvenient or indelicate. Loving people has a substantial cost because they will often define the terms for you. I need to be pruned to be agreeable to their terms and ready to take make the most of them for the Kingdom and thus their blessing.
The point is death to self is not a hobby for me to dabble in. From God's eyes, it is freedom that he can use. So he continues to invite me to a pruning.
2. Where is he gradually "nudging" you toward an area of persistent fear?
Jesus wants me to be more more "present" to talk to strangers about him in Northampton. He wants me to be more available for that purpose. I have always struggled with this essential Kingdom skill. My fear is irrational, but persistent. Where I live in the city Jesus "confronts" me everyday with such people. My flesh wants me to stay anonymous, independent, and invisible. My flesh is sinful and deceitful. I know His pruning will open my heart to people who need to experience him in me, even through something as simple as a conversation or small act of kindness.
I know that his pruning must continue as we move deeper into the imagine/northampton mission in the weeks and months ahead. It is necessary for us to be malleable enough in his hands to make any real Kingdom difference in Northampton. I want to be able to carry all the weight he wants to entrust me with, but I desperately need his enabling grace to be at all up to the task.
So may I submit to his pruning with courage.
May I be eager to be made fit.
May I not shrink back from his hand as he makes me able to carry the weight I must.
A few days ago as I was journaling with Jesus, he told me we must be "pruned to carry this (church planting) task or it will crush us." He said he is "making our faith able to carry the weight of this enormous mission." He added that if our "faith is not strong no matter the pressure, (we) will buckle under the weight of this work." I don't know about church planters 35 years younger, but what he said holds very true for us, even in the first year of our mission in Northampton.
Last week I also read an internet article about the "10 'T's' of Church Planting." One of the "T's" was "Trials." The author's point was that as with Paul's thorn suffered in the course of his planting churches around the Mediterranean, church planters will experience many trials, some of them severe. If fact, he said we should expect them, and perhaps for the duration. Hmmm.
Yesterday, I posted a new discussion topic on the imagine/northampton group Facebook page entitled, "How is God "Pruning" You These Days?" In it I listed a series of questions for people to reflect on and write about if they so chose. I think people should invite God's pruning to ensure they are fit for the weight of the mission He wants them to carry (by his grace, and with him, of course).
Here is how I answered two of them:
1. Where is he challenging you to grow especially in faith, trust and selfless love?
Jesus is continually challenging me to trust him with our financial well-being and whether our needs will be met. I am being sorely tested in this area. We have been in ministry for over 20 years, so we know the continual need to trust him here. What seems different is he is requiring a more tenacious trust as he has not provided deep financial resources to the church. Most church planting consultants would say we might be dangerously underfunded. Nevertheless, he has met our need as we have it, but not until it is required to be met.
Such tenacity requires a more vigorous and stubborn faith. He is challenging me there with "Will you believe I will care for you right up to the precipice where it all looks like it will be a disaster if something doesn't happen and right away?" Not easy, I will tell you and we are seasoned veterans. I still have more to learn here as well, especially about the freedom to keep stayed on him when the pressure rises and the fear tries to settle in.
Thirdly, God continues to show me the depth of my selfishness and attention to the unholy trinity: me, myself and I. I relish inordinately the freedom to do as I please when I please. I can be a wanderer if I am not careful. I seem to like serving me. I am a repeat customer.
I need to shun self with a passion.
To the contrary, he wants me to be more available for his use no matter if it is inconvenient or indelicate. Loving people has a substantial cost because they will often define the terms for you. I need to be pruned to be agreeable to their terms and ready to take make the most of them for the Kingdom and thus their blessing.
The point is death to self is not a hobby for me to dabble in. From God's eyes, it is freedom that he can use. So he continues to invite me to a pruning.
2. Where is he gradually "nudging" you toward an area of persistent fear?
Jesus wants me to be more more "present" to talk to strangers about him in Northampton. He wants me to be more available for that purpose. I have always struggled with this essential Kingdom skill. My fear is irrational, but persistent. Where I live in the city Jesus "confronts" me everyday with such people. My flesh wants me to stay anonymous, independent, and invisible. My flesh is sinful and deceitful. I know His pruning will open my heart to people who need to experience him in me, even through something as simple as a conversation or small act of kindness.
I know that his pruning must continue as we move deeper into the imagine/northampton mission in the weeks and months ahead. It is necessary for us to be malleable enough in his hands to make any real Kingdom difference in Northampton. I want to be able to carry all the weight he wants to entrust me with, but I desperately need his enabling grace to be at all up to the task.
So may I submit to his pruning with courage.
May I be eager to be made fit.
May I not shrink back from his hand as he makes me able to carry the weight I must.
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