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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Geezers and the Wings of Eagles.

Been thinking much about resilience (the ability to rebound, spring back, recover) these days.

Remember, I am an old man planting a church (imagine/Northampton). As some of you know, I have taken fondly to referring to myself as a geezer, a slang term for someone who is not only ambling toward decrepitude, but also is a bit of an odd character. I have noticed some oddness (although not full-bore eccentricity just yet), and I like it, actually. Also, I think the term is used most aptly of men. I think 60 is the threshold to the Land the Geezerdom. I know I passed through the gates a few miles back.

Anyway . . .

I find my "geezerliness," especially in the light of the 60 (almost 61 in April), years I have accumulated, plays a frequent role in launching imagine. As I face the relentless and sometimes bewildering challenges of  developing this mission in Northampton, I experience the troubling presence of weakness, and inability:

1. I am physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually tired more quickly; they lingers longer than when I was a young, even middle-aged man. Recovering takes more time (and humbling patience, grrrr).

2. My ADD seems more prevalent in that it is both harder to not wander in distraction and stay focused on stuff needing disciplined effort. A baffling fog can settle in from encountering too many options and choices. Rebounding firmly into order is less easy to do.

3. Because there are so many details to put in place and stay on top of most of the time, I struggle more with keeping them organized from day to day. Springing back from chaos becomes just harder to do.

4. As I have rewritten previously, the spiritual warfare here is unrelenting. Coming in forms of resistance, obstruction (like swimming in peanut butter), and the constant invitation to discouragement, it can grind down a geezer. Rebounding from persisting adversity is not always simple at any age, much less at 60.

5. Just coming to terms with the reality and vicissitudes of aging itself, never mind launching a church in the process, can be daunting because mortality has a greater presence.

In the face of all this,however, I realize resilience is both an act of the will, and a gift of grace, igniting and sustaining resilience. I have to choose the way of resilience every day, but choosing only becomes efficacious as God grants the ability as well. Grace makes a way and points to the means.

Still, I will have to be resilient in the face of my diminishment speeding up inexorably over the days. I run smack dab into the human condition and must work within its bounds. No getting around it. Truth be told, God makes me able beyond my ability to do this . . . if I surrender and pay attention to the whisperings of his help. I live every day in the reality that I am an old man planting a church, but in this last 220 my life's journey. God has summoned me to do this now in my sixth decade.

So I am a geezer learning a different quality of resilience. I need more of God's help in it, because I am diminishing more noticeably than in my young years. Bouncing back has become more of a spiritual enterprise. Sure, I need physical rest for mind and body, Sabbath, and oases of quiet to take my hands off the work. But what I need more are spiritual oases of unhurried prayer, silent reflection, deep thinking and sitting in the Scripture. It is in those places that I am bouyed on wings of eagles.

I want to make that flight more often.


8 comments:

Chris Smith said...

Thanks Kit. This strikes me as very reasonable introspection (as opposed to self-absorbtion or self-pity). Your vulnerabilities are God's tools as He sets up the workshop that will be imagine/northampton. A younger man would be an ill-equipped catalyst by comparison. -Chris

Ken Finn said...

Kit--Another Facebook friend of mine recently observed that the late middle age we are in causes him to tend toward simplifying--in the direction of focusing on what is IMPORTANT rather than all the INTERESTING possiblities. I think this necessarily means in your situation that the "team" is integral to sifting all the "possibilities" imagine faces. I think the verse is apropos--"He who calls you is faithful, and He also will do it."

*Grace* for the Journey said...

Thank you for such a humbling introspect on life. My birthday is also in April.

I have found too it is the grace of God that allows us to go beyond what the physical body can do. But I have also found God to be closer than ever during these times when we are forced to slow down and listen.

All of the seasons of our lives serves a purpose for God. We just have to be sensitive to the Spirit's calling and leading in each season.

I too am faced with something similar where I too have to lean on the grace and mercy of God to give me the vitality I need to do his will and get through my day.

May God bless you and continue to enable you by his Holy Spirit.

Anonymous said...

The title of this blog caught my eye.

Hello, my name is Ron and I am a
Christian blogger.

I enjoyed looking over your blog.
And you are more than welcome
to visit my mine.
http://ronjoewhite.blogspot.com
ronj1946 at gmail dot com

If I've posted this to your blog before
please forgive me, sometimes it ain't
so easy being an Old Geezer.

God Bless You

Kit said...

Hey Chris, I like your allusion to my vulnerabilities being "God's tools" in what he is creating in and through imagine/Northampton. I think your take is the proper perspective. May it be so for all of us engaged in launching and leading new churches, as well as everyone shepherding existing churches.

Kit said...

Thanks for the insight and encouragement, Ken. I agree with your friend that focusing on essentials is critical at this stage of life.

I also agree with your notion that the team gathered together as imagine/Northampton has the key role in discerning and sorting through the all the possibilities we face to zero in on what God beckons us to. He ultimately is our direction and the One who brings it all to pass.

Kit said...

Thanks, Grace. It really is amazing how God shows up when we really depend on him for help. John Piper says that "God is most glorified in us when we most depend on him." I have found that to be true.

May we all learn to depend on him with a resolve we never thought possible, and may his glory be more and more manifested from our dependence.

Kit said...

Hey Ron,

Thanks. God bless you and your forays in the world of blogging as a fellow geezer. We need more of us out there!

I will check you out!